davidbrucehaiku: tongues

https://pixabay.com/en/man-crazy-funny-dude-sunglasses-540500/

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TONGUES

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A tongue: good or bad

Depends on how it is used

Speak good things, not bad

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David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

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davidbrucehaiku: food and love

https://pixabay.com/en/dinner-food-girl-meal-eating-2330482/

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simple food with love

is better than a great feast

where there is hatred.

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NOTE: See Proverbs 15:17.

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Free davidbrucehaiku #11 eBook (pdf)

Free davidbrucehaiku eBooks (pdfs)

Free eBooks by David Bruce (pdfs)

Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND

David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

Free eBooks by David Bruce (pdfs) (Includes Discussion Guides for Inferno, Purgatory, and Paradise)

Proverbs 15 (GENEVA BIBLE)

Proverbs 15

1 A soft answer putteth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools babbleth out foolishness.

3 The eyes of the Lord in every place behold the evil and the good.

4 A wholesome tongue is as a tree of life: but the frowardness thereof is the breaking of ye mind.

5 A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth correction, is prudent.

6 The house of the righteous hath much treasure: but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble.

7 The lips of the wise do spread abroad knowledge: but ye heart of the foolish doth not so.

8 The sacrifice of the wicked is abomination to the Lord: but the prayer of the righteous is acceptable unto him.

9 The way of the wicked is an abomination unto the Lord: but he loveth him that followeth righteousness.

10 Instruction is evil to him that forsaketh the way, and he that hateth correction, shall die.

11 Hell and destruction are before the Lord: how much more the hearts of the sons of men?

12 A scorner loveth not him that rebuketh him, neither will he go unto the wise.

13 A joyful heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by the sorrow of the heart the mind is heavy.

14 The heart of him that hath understanding, seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of the fool is fed with foolishness.

15 All the days of the afflicted are evil: but a good conscience is a continual feast.

16 Better is a little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure, and trouble therewith.

17 Better is a dinner of green herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

18 An angry man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to wrath, appeaseth strife.

19 The way of a slothful man is as an hedge of thorns: but the way of the righteous is plain.

20 A wise son rejoiceth the father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.

21 Foolishness is joy to him that is destitute of understanding: but a man of understanding walketh uprightly.

22 Without counsel thoughts come to nought: but in the multitude of counselors there is steadfastness.

23 A joy cometh to a man by the answer of his mouth: and how good is a word in due season?

24 The way of life is on high to the prudent, to avoid from hell beneath.

25 The Lord will destroy the house of the proud men: but he will establish the borders of the widow.

26 The thoughts of ye wicked are abomination to the Lord: but the pure have pleasant words.

27 He that is greedy of gain, troubleth his own house: but he that hateth gifts, shall live.

28 The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the wicked man’s mouth babbleth evil things.

29 The Lord is far off from the wicked: but he heareth the prayer of the righteous.

30 The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart, and a good name maketh the bones fat.

31 The ear that hearkeneth to the correction of life, shall lodge among the wise.

32 He that refuseth instruction, despiseth his own soul: but he that obeyeth correction, getteth understanding.

33 The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom: and before honor, goeth humility.

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Source: http://www.genevabible.org/files/Geneva_Bible/Old_Testament/Proverbs.pdf

Read the Contemporary English Version here: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+15&version=CEV

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David Bruce: Sin Anecdotes

• A man once went to his rabbi and confessed, “I have slandered my friend by lying about him and speaking evilly about him. What is to be my punishment?” The rabbi answered, “Go to the town square with a feather pillow. Cut open the feather pillow and let the feathers fly into the wind. Then come back to see me.” The man did as he was told, then returned to the rabbi and asked, “I have cut open the feather pillow and let the feathers fly into the wind. But how is that supposed to punish me?” The rabbi answered, “That is only the first — the easy — part of your punishment. Now you must go and collect all the feathers you let fly into the wind. Releasing feathers — and words — into the wind is easy; gathering them again is difficult.”

• Actor Pat O’Brien grew up in Milwaukee, where he remembered a Father Murphy. After one long day, Father Murphy was very tired, and he was faced with a long line of people who wished to go to Confession. He spoke out to the line: “All ye mortals stay, and all ye venials go home!” The church was empty within two minutes. (Mortal sins are much more serious than venial sins.)

• Susannah Cibber sang at the first performance of George Frideric Handel’s Messiahon April 23, 1742, in Dublin. Her emotion as she sang was overwhelming, and after she finished singing “He was Despised,” the chancellor of St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Dr. Patrick Delany, shouted, “Woman, for this, be all thy sins forgiven.” (According to music historians, Ms. Cibber had quite a few sins to be forgiven for.)

• Church of Christ preacher Joe S. Warlick was debating a Baptist preacher in the days when there was a great deal of hostility between different groups that preached the word of God. The Baptist preacher called Mr. Warlick a “long-horned ox from Texas.” Mr. Warlick replied that in that case the congregation had sinned, because the Bible had orders not to yoke together an ox and an ass.

• A baptistry was added to a church, but the county building inspector said he couldn’t okay its installation unless it had a separate septic tank. When asked why a baptistry would need a separate septic tank, the building inspector replied, “It’s to prevent pollution in the ground.” One of the church trustees then said, “I guess it wouldpollute, with all those sins washed away!”

• Rabbi Gamaliel once told a servant, “Bring me something good.” The servant went to the marketplace, then returned with a tongue. Gamaliel then told the servant, “Bring me something bad.” The servant again went to the marketplace and returned with a tongue, then said to Gamaliel, “A tongue can be good or bad, depending on how it is used.”

• As a young man, Rabbi Yechiel Michel of Gustinin decided to learn to play chess. However, he immediately quit after learning that one of the rules of chess was that a move, once made, cannot be taken back. Rabbi Michel explained that such a rule went against Judaism, which believes that no act is final. After one commits a sin, one can repent.

• Rabbi Zushia of Hanipol never rebuked a sinner for sinning. Instead, when he saw a person commit a sin, he would sit near that person, then begin crying, “Zushia, how could you commit such a sin? Don’t you know that you will have to account for that sin in the World-to-Come?” The sinner always listened to Zushia nd eventually repented.

 • The Maggid of Kelm repeated his sermons, giving the same few sermons over and over. Once, a sinner asked him, “Why do you keep repeating your sermons over and over?” The Maggid replied, “Why do you keep repeating your sins over and over?”

• Once the Hasidic master Israel of Rizhin was asked how to repent. Israel asked, “Did you know how to sin?” The sinner replied, “That was easy. First I sinned, then I knew what sin is.” So Israel told the sinner, “First repent, then you will know what repentance is.”

• A comedian was telling an off-color joke at an officers’ club when he suddenly noticed that sitting at the table was a chaplain. “For Christ’s sake,” he said. “Are you a chaplain?” The chaplain replied, “For the sake of Christ, I am.”

• Church of Christ preacher Raccoon John Smith spoke about Repentance for several Sundays in a row. When his congregation complained, Raccoon John replied, “When you doit, I’ll quit preaching on that and take up something else.”

• Calvin Coolidge attended church alone one Sunday. When he returned home, his wife asked him what the preacher had spoken about in his sermon. “Sin,” Coolidge replied. Next his wife asked, “What did he have to say about it?” Coolidge answered, “He was against it.”

• Abraham Lincoln was once seen with two crying children. When asked what was wrong, he answered, “The same thing that’s wrong with the world. I’ve got three walnuts, and each child wants two.”

• Martin Luther once got angry at a monk who was too perfect and yelled at him, “For heaven’s sake, why don’t you go out and sin a little? God deserves to have something to forgive you for!”

• Rabbi Simchah Bunim of Pshischa once asked how we can know that a sin is forgiven. His answer was that one knows that the sin has been forgiven when one no longer repeats it.

• “The word ‘good’ has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of 500 yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.” — G.K. Chesterton.

• “Jesus preached and talked against a whole gamut of sins. He never mentioned homosexuality at all.” — former President Jimmy Carter.

• “True fear of sin is fearing the sin itself more than its punishment.” — Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Vitebsk.

• “Don’t make me come down there.” — God.

• Sign outside a church: “Sin now. Pay later.”

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

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David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

David Bruce: Sex Anecdotes

• People in wheelchairs have sex, too. Julie Fernandez, who played Brenda in the British TV series The Office, is in a wheelchair as a result of being born with very brittle bones. As a young teenager, she thought often about sex and wondered if her disability would ever allow her to have sex—perhaps sex for her would result in broken bones. Eventually, she found a boyfriend and they did have sex together—frequently and with passion. She says, “The first time was painful, but I needn’t have worried about breaking anything. From that moment on we were always bunking off for nookie. We used to sneak back to his house and be at it like rabbits. For me it was a whole new adventure.” Her acting skills came in handy during this youthful affair, which was carried on while she was at Treloar’s, which she identifies as “a specialist boarding school in Hampshire for pupils with physical disabilities.” The staff there kept an eye on the residents, especially when young males and young females spent time together, and one day while Julie and her boyfriend were having sex at Treloar’s, a knock sounded at the door. Julie says, “We went into panic overdrive.” She hurriedly dressed, while her naked boyfriend hid himself. She then hid his clothing and answered the door. The housemaster was showing a couple of guests around, and Julie acted so well that they never realized that a naked teenaged boy was hiding there.

• Some people really enjoy reading books about scandals in the lives of celebrities. One such book is Joan Collins: The Biography of an Icon by Graham Lord. In the book, Mr. Lord states that when Ms. Collins first went to Hollywood she slept with numerous men—so many, in fact, that she was referred to as the British Open. (One actress snarkily said, “Joan’s had more hands up her than the Muppets.”) At one time Ms. Collins supposedly had an affair with director and producer George Englund, but she cheated on him with a Dominican Republic dictator’s son, who bought her a diamond necklace—something that made Mr. Englund jealous. However, Ms. Collins found a way to both keep the necklace and to stop Mr. Englund from being jealous. She had a cheap copy of the necklace made, then to show Mr. Englund that she loved him and only him, she threw the cheap imitation necklace, which he thought was the valuable real necklace, into the Pacific Ocean.

• Near the end of filming the erotic thriller Deception, actor Ewan McGregor had to fake sexual intercourse with five different actresses, none of whom he had met before. This made him tense, but his co-star, Hugh Jackman (who played Wolverine in the X-Menmovies) made jokes. Mr. Jackman, who also co-produced the movie, says that one of the actresses telephoned him because she was worried that she was not in the movie anymore. Fortunately, her scene had simply been rescheduled to a later date. The actress said, “I just want you to know I’ll do anything, and I’m really flexible.’” Mr. Jackman told her that he knew that this was her first movie and it was important to her, but he jokes, “I don’t think she was talking about the scene!”

• Brazilian novelist Paulo Coelho experimented with sex when he was a young man. He had been in mental hospitals, in part because his mother thought that he had sexual problems. This made him think that he might be gay, so he had gay sex three times. The first time that he had gay sex, he was nervous and he did not enjoy it. Thinking that perhaps being nervous had made him not enjoy the experience, he had gay sex a second time. This time he was not nervous, but he still did not enjoy the experience. “Third time lucky,” he thought, and so he tried gay sex again, and he still did not enjoy the experience, so he realized that he was not gay and started pursuing women.

• Gerard Butler has played a lot of macho roles, including that of King Leonides in the beefcake movie 300, which featured great abdominals. This has apparently inspired a lot of lust (or satire) in his fans, as shown by the names of the groups of his fans on Facebook: “Gerard Butler Is My Husband—He Just Doesn’t Know It Yet,” “Gerard Butler Can Impregnate By Touch Alone,” “Gerard Butler Can Make Even Physical Deformity Sexy” (he had the title role in Phantom of the Opera), “Please Have Your Way With My Naked Body, Gerard Butler,” and “Gerard, I Want to Touch Your Butler.”

• At one time, people believed that tenors should refrain from having sex before an important performance. After tenor Jean de Reszke retired from performing and began teaching voice, one of his students asked him his opinion about this belief. Mr. de Reszke replied, “Men ought to stop for two or three days before singing.” The student then asked about the women. Mr. de Reszke answered, “Well, at least they shouldn’t do it on stage.”

• Georges Simenon, creator of the detective Maigret, was a man of big statistics. For example, he wrote approximately 400 works of fiction and he sold over 500 million copies of his books. These facts are verifiable. What is not verifiable is his claim to have had sex with 10,000 women. His second wife did not believe that particular figure—she thought that he had had sex with “no more than 1,200” women.

• Art Linkletter is famous in part because of his interviews with children. For example, he asked an eight-year-old girl, “What is your secret wish?” She replied, “I want to be ten years old all my life.” When Mr. Linkletter asked her why, she said, “Because then I won’t have to know about the birds and the bees.”

• Humphrey Bogart could be cynical about such things as press photographers. Asked if a photographer from Lifemagazine could travel with him and his fiancée Lauren Bacall to the farm in Ohio where they would be married, Bogie replied, “Great. Maybe he’d like to photograph us f**king.”

• Groucho Marx was accused of being obsessed with sex. He replied, “It’s not an obsession — it’s a talent.”

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

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David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

“one-third (95 out of 289) of all American Nobel Prizes in the Sciences have been earned by Immigrants to the United States.”

Art of Quotation

“Not that anybody asked, but one-third (95 out of 289) of all American Nobel Prizes in the Sciences have been earned by Immigrants to the United States.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist, twitter feed, Jan 30, 2018


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