davidbrucehaiku: SO THIS IS RUSSIA

https://pixabay.com/photos/girl-teen-smartphone-russian-1848478/

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SO THIS IS RUSSIA

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So this is Russia

Coffee shop, smartphone, cute teen

Looks like the U.S.

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NOTE: The photographer is from Chelyabinsk, Russia.

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davidbrucehaiku: first-world problems

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FIRST-WORLD PROBLEMS

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Some first-world problems

Too much good stuff to consume

Books, music, movies

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NOTE: We will never read every good book, hear every good song, or see every good movie.

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SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

John Ford’s The Broken Heart: A Retelling, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/792090

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/792090

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SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure:A Retelling in Prose, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/530136

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SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist:A Retelling in Prose

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/731768

David Bruce: Money Anecdotes

• Walter Legge, an English classical music producer, was kind to his recording artists. He was also persuasive — perhaps too persuasive. He once persuaded conductor Carlo Maria Giulini to agree to make a recording of Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony, although Mr. Giulini said that he had no sympathy for that piece of music. They started to record the symphony, but after 15 minutes, Mr. Giulini stopped and said, “I can’t go on.” Mr. Legge simply sent the orchestra home and did not try to persuade Mr. Giulini to continue. After Mr. Legge died, Mr. Giulini remembered, “And you know what a [financial] loss that is to a company. Then we took a long walk together in Hyde Park. We talked of other things.” Of course, Mr. Legge could get angry. He had a collection of early recordings of opera singers and orchestras and violinists that his father had given to him when he was only 12 years old. When he was 62 years old, he offered to give his collection to what he called “a venerable Swiss institution,” but the institution declined to accept it unless he also donated money as an endowment for a curator and for the maintenance of the collection. In a short memoir, Mr. Legge wrote, “In one of my better rages, I broke every record into bits and tossed the pieces into Lake Geneva.”

• Comedian Red Skelton was robbed or burgled a few times in his life. Once, in Las Vegas, a man with a gun demanded all his cash. Red handed over the couple of hundred dollars he was carrying, but the man with the gun recognized him and said, “I wouldn’t rob you, Mr. Skelton.” Red told him to keep the money: “You must need it, young man, or you wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble.” Red, who spent the early part of his career impoverished, did spend a lot of money during his life, but he sometimes did not part with money so easily. He once saw a painting he liked and asked the art dealer how much it cost. The art dealer snootily replied, “Five thousand wouldn’t take that.” Red left, saying, “I’m one of the five thousand.”

• Benny Carter had a jazz band at Club Harlem, but the club was about to go out of business due to financial troubles. George Rich, whose last name was appropriate, wanted Mr. Carter’s band to keep playing at Club Harlem. He told Mr. Carter, “They can’t do this to you. You’ve got to have a place for your band. Come over to the house tonight after the gig.” The talked that night, and Mr. Rich said, “I’m going to buy the place.” He started digging up bundles of cash that he had stashed in his home and bought the place. He came into Club Harlem occasionally, and Mr. Carter appreciated the good deed. Mr. Carter said, “His only purpose for buying the club was to keep my band together, and I shall never forget him for it.”

• Walter Damrosch hired Emil Fischer, bass from the Dresden Royal Opera, to sing at the Metropolitan Opera Company. Mr. Fischer made $250 per appearance, but he was not happy in his marriage and requested that his written contract state that he made $200 per appearance and that he receive the other $50 in cash. This was a way for him to hide about $600 per month from his wife so he could have some money of his own. His wife complained to Mr. Damrosch, “I do not know why my Emil is so badly paid while all the others get these enormous salaries. My Emil sings better than any of them, and he has to be content with only two hundred dollars an appearance!” Mr. Damrosch kept Mr. Fischer’s secret.

• Many artists and musicians are concerned about money and about how many people are in the audience. Composer Sergei Rachmaninoff was one of these creative people. Conductor Walter Damrosch once asked Mr. Rachmaninoff what he was doing when he stared at the gallery. Mr. Rachmaninoff replied, “Counting the standees in the balcony. The manager told me they were not allowed, but there were forty-three.” Mr. Damrosch’s daughter Gretchen Finletter wrote that a manager “may grow nostalgic for the dreamy artist who does not understand about money, but he seldom has the pleasure of dealing with one.”

• Rich and famous comedian Danny Thomas, whose birth name was Amos Jacobs and who was raised in Toledo, Ohio, once paid for tickets at a box-office booth, and when he received his change, he dropped a dime. Lots of people saw him drop the dime, and Danny was too embarrassed to pick it up. He thought, I am Danny Thomas. I’m one of the world’s top comedians. I’ve made millions. I’m not bending down to pick up that dime.Then he reconsidered: In reality, I’m Amos Jacobs of Toledo, Ohio, and Amos Jacobs knows how hard it is to make a dime. He picked up the dime.

• Being a drug addict is expensive. Charlie Parker became addicted to heroin at age seventeen. He once showed a friend the veins in one of his arms and said that he had spent enough money on the heroin he had shot into that arm that he could have bought a Cadillac. He showed his friend the veins in his other arm and said that he had spent enough money on the heroin he had shot into that arm that he could have bought a house. He said, holding out one arm, “This is my Cadillac. Then he held out his other arm and said, “And this is my house.”

• People whose job is creating funny cartoons tend to be funny. Tex Avery once lost $10 in a card game to his boss, Leon Schlesinger. He didn’t have the money then, but paid it a little later: He walked into his boss’ office with $10 in pennies, dumped the 1,000 pennies on his boss’ desk, and walked out. Chuck Jones once owed Mr. Schlesinger $5: Mr. Jones paid it back with 500 pennies in a jar of honey. Animator Benny Washam once owed $5 to cartoon screenwriter Tedd Pierce and paid it back with 500 pennies baked inside a homemade loaf of bread.

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

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SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

John Ford’s The Broken Heart: A Retelling, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/792090

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/792090

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SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure:A Retelling in Prose, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/530136

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SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist:A Retelling in Prose

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/731768

David Bruce: Mishaps Anecdotes

• Can a pothole be a hero? Don’t be silly. Can a pothole save a life? Actually, yes. In November 2011 while attending school in Cincinnati, Ohio, eight-year-old Laci Davis accidentally swallowed a heart-shaped gold locket that lodged in her throat, making breathing difficult. She said, “I was trying to put my hair up and I had my locket in my mouth, and he [a friend] was making me laugh so I was laughing at the same time, and it just went down my throat.” She found breathing difficult. She said, “It felt like something was stabbing me right in the middle of my chest.” Doctors X-rayed her throat and told her mother to take her to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. Her mother rushed her to the hospital, and on the way the car hit a pothole. The jolt dislodged the locket, which fell into Laci’s stomach. Laci’s mother, Amanda Cullum, said about the drive to the hospital, “We hit a pothole, and she looked at me and said, ‘Mom, I feel better.’ I said, ‘What do you mean you feel better?’ She said, ‘I don’t feel it anymore.”’ Laci said about the pothole, “It was my hero and I when I got home I was like, ‘Thank you, bump.’” She added, “It’s going to have to come out the old-fashioned way. I’m just going to get a new necklace because I’m not going through that ‘treasure.’”

• Richard Burton bought his wife, Elizabeth Taylor, the famous La Peregrina pearl. She had a pajama party with some friends, including fashion designer Vicky Tiel, and served fried chicken and champagne. At the party, she showed off the pearl. At one point in the evening, however, she looked at the black velvet box the pearl had come in and screamed, “Oh, my god!” The pearl was missing. At first, they thought that the room-service waitress must have stolen the pearl but they realized that she had not been near it. That meant that one of the people present must have taken the pearl — or perhaps it was lost. They searched for it a long time, but fell asleep. The next morning Elizabeth’s guests woke up first and worried about telling Mr. Burton that the pearl was missing. Mr. Burton walked into the room and woke up Elizabeth and handed the pearl to her, saying, “Here, I found your dog in his bed chewing on this.”

• Despite his obvious high intelligence, Isaac Asimov could be absent-minded. When he was married to his first wife, he once took a bill to the gas company and complained about how much it was. He said, “We have never used enough gas to bring us up to the minimum. We have no children. We both work. We cook perhaps four meals a week. How can we possibly get a gas bill for $6.50? I demandan explanation.” The gas-company employee had a good explanation: “This is an electricbill.” By the way, television reporter Walter Cronkite once interviewed Mr. Asimov, who wanted to tell him, “My father will be very thrilled, Mr. Cronkite, when he finds out you’ve interviewed me.” However, he was afraid of sounding immature and so refrained from saying it. During a break in the filming, Mr. Cronkite said to Mr. Asimov, “Dr. Asimov, my father will be very thrilled when he finds out I’ve interviewed you.”

• Mishaps occur in nursing. When Joanne Murnane was a new nurse working in a hospital, one of her patients died. She prepared the dead patient, and seeing dentures on the dead patient’s table, she stuffed the dentures in the dead patient’s mouth and then took him to the hospital morgue. When she returned to the room to care for the other, live patient there, the live patient said, “Miss, have you seen my teeth? I laid them on this table but can’t find them now.” Of course, he had put his dentures on the wrong table. Thinking quickly, Nurse Murnane said, “I’m cleaning them for you, sir. I’ll have them back soon.” She says, “Of course, I did clean and sterilize the dentures and returned them to their correct owner, all the while thanking my lucky stars that all had worked out acceptably.

• Frank Sinatra tipped well — extremely well — but he demanded good service. He once invited his husband-and-wife friends Don and Barbara Rickles to a dinner party to celebrate their second anniversary. Everything was wonderful: the cold Jack Daniels, the hot hors d’oeuvers, a magnificent Chinese dinner. Well, almost wonderful. The service was slow, and this got on Frank’s nerves. And when a server dropped noodles onto Frank’s lap, Frank tipped the table over and left. The Rickles were left covered in Chinese food. Barbara rose to the occasion. She pointed to the glass of vodka that she was holding in her hand and asked, “Waiter, could I have some more ice?” (Frank sent Barbara a note of apology the next day.)

• Works of art can become lost, and not just in the usual way. For example, a bust of William Shakespeare is thought to have been on exhibit in the outdoors on Lookout Mountain at the Lookout Mountain National Military Park near Chattanooga, TN. Officials searched for the bust, but they were unable to find it. Apparently, it is still there — hidden under vegetation such as poison ivy. Susan Nichols of Save Outdoor Sculpture! says, “I call outdoor sculpture ‘orphans of the cultural community.’ Outdoor sculpture often suffers from benign neglect, as well as from the environment. We need to become more active and vigilant in caring for them.”

• In the 1994 movie The Browning Version, starring Albert Finney, the Greek schoolmaster he plays appears in a scene with schoolboys who are having trouble translating the ancient Greek of Agamemnonby the tragedian Aeschylus. Classicist Mary Beard points out that it is no wonder that they are having trouble: On each schoolboy’s desk appears not an edition of Aeschylus in Greek, but instead a Penguin translation of Aeschylus into English. (Penguin books have instantly recognizable covers.) Ms. Beard writes, “Presumably some bloke in the props department had been sent off to find twenty copies of the Agamemnonand knew no better than to bring it in English.”

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

John Ford’s The Broken Heart: A Retelling, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/792090

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/792090

***

SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure:A Retelling in Prose, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/530136

***

SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist:A Retelling in Prose

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/731768

davidbrucehaiku: dandelions

https://pixabay.com/photos/summer-dandelion-flower-nature-3549853/

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DANDELIONS

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They have a meaning

Dandelions in your yard

“No herbicides here”

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SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

John Ford’s The Broken Heart: A Retelling, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/792090

***

SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure:A Retelling in Prose, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/530136

***

SOMETIMES FREE EBOOK

Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist:A Retelling in Prose

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/731768