An Argument with Taylor

“David.”

“Yes, Taylor?”

“David, I am flurious with you.”

“Flurious, Taylor?”

“Yes, David, flurious. Almost furious.”

“I see, Taylor. And why are you flurious at me?”

“David, I had dessert for 10 people in the refrigerator.”

“Yes, Taylor. And?”

“David, you ate all that desert.”

“Taylor, that seems unlikely. Can you explain?”

“David, I had watermelon in the refrigerator.”

“I see what happened, Taylor. I like watermelon — los of watermelon. I apologize, Taylor.

“David, what are you going to write in your diet diary?”

“Taylor, most people don’t know this, but watermelons are berries. I am going to write, ‘One berry.’”

***

Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

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David Bruce: 250 Music Anecdotes — Husbands and Wives, Illnesses and Injuries and Rehab

Husbands and Wives

• When Barbara Brooks, wife of country singer Kix Brooks of Brooks and Dunn fame, fell from a horse, she ended up in a hospital. One of the things she noticed was that a different person would appear each time she had to give a blood sample. The head of the department eventually apologized to her for this. The workers in the department were taking turns drawing her blood because they wanted to see the wife of a famous country and western singer.

• In the documentary Too Tough to Die: A Tribute to Johnny Ramone, Rob Zombie says that Johnny told him that he and his wife, Linda, were walking down a street in New York. Johnny was carrying groceries, but when he saw a fan, he said to his wife, “Linda, take the groceries. I can’t have a fan see me carrying groceries.” Linda said, “F**k you, John. Then leave them in the f**king street.” Rob says, “John was all about cool.”

Illnesses and Injuries and Rehab

• Jazz drummer Buddy Rich was a personal friend of Johnny Carson. When Mr. Rich became severely ill and worried that he might not ever play the drums again, one of Ed McMahon’s friends called Mr. McMahon and said, “Ed, I’m going to make a strange request. Buddy is as down as a man can be. Would you and Johnny consider coming down to visit him? And the sooner, the better.” Ed told Johnny that Buddy was ill, and Johnny immediately thought of a way to cheer him up: He and Ed would visit him and do a sketch with Johnny portraying Carnak the Magnificent. Carnac, of course, was gifted at divining the answers to questions. He would say the answer, and then he would open a sealed envelope that contained the question. As Johnny wanted, the jokes were somewhat bawdy. One example: Carnac stated that the answer was, “Dry hump.” The question was, “What does a camel do after a bath?” The laughter therapy worked: Buddy made an incredible recovery.

• Dee Dee Ramone, bass player for the Ramones, was heavily into drug abuse for a lot of years. (He eventually died of a heroin overdose.) According to a Ramones roadie, Dee Dee would sometimes ask to do cocaine with the roadies. They would lay out five lines of cocaine, but Dee Dee would snort more than the one line laid out for him — he would snort all five lines, then say, “Oops! I slipped.” Dee Dee owned a cat named Orlando at a time when he was smoking lots of marijuana. Eventually, the cat came into the possession of Ramones tour manager Monte A. Melnick, who said that the cat was so high from all of Dee Dee’s marijuana smoke that it was bouncing off the walls for a month before it calmed down. Mr. Melnick says, “Orlando is the only cat I’ve met that has gone through rehab.”

• In 1907, opera singer Enrico Caruso needed to visit a doctor, but he did not want the media to find out about the visit, so he decided to visit the doctor incognito; therefore, Mr. Caruso used the name of his voice coach and accompanist, Richard Barthelemy. Following the examination, the doctor said, “All right, Mr. Caruso, I’ll get you well.” Surprised, Mr. Caruso asked, “You know me then, doctor?” The doctor smiled and replied, “Mr. Caruso, after years on the stage of the Metropolitan Opera, do you present yourself here and expect to pass incognito? Why did you give me the name of your friend instead of your own? Don’t you know that doctors are held to professional secrecy?”

• Russian conductor Vasily Safonov got very seasick while crossing the Atlantic. Violinist Fritz Kreisler’s wife was on board, and she tried to comfort him by singing the Russian national anthem to him, but he begged her, “Please don’t do that, or I shall have to get on my feet.”

***

Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

250 Music Anecdotes (Kindle eBook: $1.99):

https://www.amazon.com/250-Music-Anecdotes-David-Bruce-ebook/dp/B00JJYTYQO/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=david+bruce+250+music+anecdotes&qid=1565099313&s=digital-text&sr=1-1

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davidbrucehaiku: the way I want to live

sky-49520_1280

https://pixabay.com/photos/sky-clouds-outdoors-scenic-49520/

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THE WAY I WANT TO LIVE

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Live the way you want

— Be invisible and fly —

Not the way you’re told

***

NOTE: Have you ever seen me fly? No? That’s because I was invisible.

***

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Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND: Volume 1 (pdf)

Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND: Volume 2 (pdf)

Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND: Volume 3 (pdf)

Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND: Volume 4 (pdf)

David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

“The fact is that poetry is not the books in the library . . . Poetry is the encounter of the reader with the book, the discovery of the book.”

Art of Quotation

“The fact is that poetry is not the books in the library . . . Poetry is the encounter of the reader with the book, the discovery of the book.”

Jorge Luis Borges, writer

Image: Jaredd Craig


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davidbrucehaiku: three new things

pylon-4422599_1280

https://pixabay.com/photos/pylon-poly-dance-pole-twine-girl-4422599/

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THREE NEW THINGS

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Each night list three things

You learned today. One can be:

Learned a new pole dance

***

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David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

David Bruce: 250 Music Anecdotes — Good Deeds (and Bad)

Good Deeds (and Bad)

• The Dutch band the Ex makes odd music. They chose their name because it could be easily written on walls, and they drew straws to determine which band member would play which instrument. In 1983, they made four 7-inch singles about a closed factory in the area where the band formed: the Amsterdam suburb of Wormer. The band does have a sense of humor: For a year, it ran a 7-inch singles club, but the last single they sent out was 12 inches, so it would not fit in the box that held the 7-inch singles. The band is also capable of doing good deeds: It toured Ethiopia, giving free concerts in places where hardly any musicians, including Ethiopian musicians, went. The band members took along amplifiers and generators, but they left them behind for Ethiopian musicians to use. In addition, they gave away many free cassette tapes. Guitarist Andy Moor says, “Everyone still uses cassettes there. We went back to pressing up cassettes, giving them out to taxi drivers all over the place. So at least theyknow what we sound like.”

• Music photographer Jim Marshall could be abrasive, but he had many, many friends. In 1983, Steve Goodman was playing with Johnny Cash in Eugene, Oregon. Mr. Goodman, who is famous for writing the song “The City of New Orleans,” a hit sung by Arlo Guthrie, was suffering from leukemia, had lost his hair, and knew that he had little time left to live. Mr. Marshall avoided photographing his friend because of his lack of hair, figuring that his friend would not want his photograph taken, but after the concert, Mr. Goodman said to him, “Hey, Jimmy, I know that you’re not taking pictures of me because of the way I look, but it’s OK, man. I’d like to be in your book someday.” Mr. Marshall promised him that he would be in the book, and a photograph that Mr. Marshall took appears in his first major book, Not Fade Away: The Rock & Roll Photography of Jim Marshall. Mr. Marshall writes about Mr. Goodman, “He was one of the real good guys and a good friend.”

• Taylor Swift learned how to play a 12-string guitar in part because of a bad deed and a good deed — and because of her own desire and determination. Here she explains the bad deed: “I actually learned [to play guitar] on a 12-string because some guy told me that I would never be able to play it, that my fingers were too small. Anytime somebody tells me that I can’t do something, I want to do it more.” A good deed helped her learn how to play. She explains that a computer repairman at her house helped her get started: “In this magical twist of fate, the guy who my parents had hired to come fix my computer [taught me]. I’m doing my homework and he looks round and sees the guitar in the corner and he looks [at me] and says, ‘Do you know how to play guitar?’ I was like, ‘Ah, no.’ He said, ‘Do you want me to teach you a few chords?’ After that, I was relentless. I wanted to play all the time.”

• Pianist Van Cliburn, who did not smoke or drink, did many good deeds in his life, including many before he became wealthy. Once, when his life savings amounted to a little more than $1,000, he donated that money to help buy a much-needed piano for the church he attended in New York City. He also gave up a $500 engagement — when $500 was a small fortune to him — to perform for free at a church banquet. After visiting Russia, he carried back to the United States a lilac bush that a Russian fan of Sergei Rachmaninoff had asked him to plant at the head of Rachmaninoff’s grave in Kensico Cemetery, Valhalla, New York.

• For many years, Doc Severensen and his band provided the house music for The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Mr. Carson stood up for his band. On one show Ray Charles performed, and on air he yelled to the drummer of Doc’s band, “Pick up the pace!” After the show was over, Mr. Carson went to Mr. Charles’ dressing room and said, “Ray, there’s a drummer in Doc’s band who needs an apology.” Mr. Charles, a man of class, agreed that he had behaved unprofessionally: He apologized to the entire band.

• When opera singer Helen Traubel’s aunt and uncle suffered severe financial losses, she used to put $10 on her uncle’s dresser each day — unasked — so he wouldn’t be embarrassed by asking her for money.

***

Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

250 Music Anecdotes (Kindle eBook: $1.99):

https://www.amazon.com/250-Music-Anecdotes-David-Bruce-ebook/dp/B00JJYTYQO/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=david+bruce+250+music+anecdotes&qid=1565099313&s=digital-text&sr=1-1

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davidbrucehaiku: TO RIDE OR NOT TO RIDE

beverage-1851261_1280

https://pixabay.com/photos/beverage-cold-drink-fruit-glass-1851261/

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NO BIKE RIDING NOW

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Hot summer weather

No bike riding for this boy

Oh, how I miss it!

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bicycle-589955_1280

https://pixabay.com/photos/bicycle-cycling-sports-bike-travel-589955/

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BIKE-RIDING SEASON

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Weather starts to cool

Bike riding now possible

Oh, how I missed it!

***

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Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND: Volume 3 (pdf)

Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND: Volume 4 (pdf)

David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

davidbrucehaiku: MY PSYCHIC POWER

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https://pixabay.com/photos/priest-priestess-wizard-witch-2833384/

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MY PSYCHIC POWER

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I am a psychic

With complete accuracy

How do I do it?

***

NOTE: Each morning I sit down at the breakfast table and look at what is on my plate. Then I predict what I will eat for breakfast.

***

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Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND: Volume 2 (pdf)

Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND: Volume 3 (pdf)

Free eBook: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIND: Volume 4 (pdf)

David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.