Music Recommendation: Lipstick Homicide — “Rockerchick”


Music: “Rockerchick” from the album OUT UTERO

Artist: Lipstick Homicide

Artist Location: Coralville, Iowa


Rachel Feldmann – Bass/Guitar/Vocals 
Kate Kane – Guitar/Vocals 
Big Luke Ferguson – Drums 


she had the cutest smile and the coolest band 
i wonder if she knows i’m her number one fan 
and all i wanna know is how a girl like you ends up with a guy like that 
please don’t shoot me down i’m waiting for the time you write me back 
she’s got a sweet guitar, i really like her hair 
but she’ll go home with him it really isn’t fair 
all i wanna know is how a girl like you isn’t even aware 
you could give me a chance i don’t think your boyfriend would even care 
you know he’s really not that vital to your band 
he can write a song but not as well as you can

Price: $1 (USD) for song; $7 (USD) for 14-track album

If you are OK with paying for it, you can use PAYPAL or CREDIT CARD.

Genre: Punk Rock

Lipstick Homicide on Bandcamp

OUT UTERO on Bandcamp

David Bruce: The Coolest People in Comedy — Sports, Television


• Bill Cosby was an athlete before he became a stand-up comedian and movie and TV star. He once became the high-jump champion of the Middle Atlantic Conference by psyching out his opponents. He had not been jumping well, managing to clear only about six feet. However, at the meet a bump was on the approach to the high jump, and a few athletes had complained about it. Soon, Bill’s voice was heard coming loudly from a tent: “There’s really a terrible bump out there. There’s no way anybody is going to jump over five-ten today.” Mr. Cosby won the championship with a jump of only six feet, which was actually a short height in that event.

• Comedian Bernie Mac admires baseball player Pete Rose, aka Charlie Hustle. He tried to imitate Mr. Rose — once. Playing softball, he tried to steal second base. Trying to beat the throw to second, he slid headfirst — and tore off a bunch of skin on his chest. Normally, Mr. Mac’s skin is black, but for a while after that slide, his chest was pink. Mr. Mac says about Charlie Hustle, “Now tell me he don’t belong in the Hall of Fame.”

• Dick Van Dyke was tall at a very young age — 6-foot-1 at age 11. Because of his height, he tried out for the basketball team. However, he lacked coordination and warmed the bench all season. He had a chance to play in only one game — but unfortunately, when he jumped up to go on the court, his pants caught a splinter in the bench and the seat ripped out.


• The world’s strangest comedian could very well be Andy Kaufman. One of his alter egos was Tony Clifton, an obnoxious jerk. While co-starring on Taxi, Mr. Kaufman wanted Tony Clifton to appear, but he insisted that he and Tony have separate contracts, separate dressing rooms, and separate parking spaces (although Mr. Kaufman, of course, was Tony Clifton). The good people at Taxi liked Mr. Kaufman, so they granted his wishes, but they soon discovered that Tony Clifton was not the right character to have on the show, so they decided not to use him. Mr. Kaufman, in the character of Tony Clifton, was outraged, and he yelled, “If you’re going to fire me, you better bring security guards, and I want to be fired on stage.” The good people at Taxi liked Mr. Kaufman, so they granted his wishes, and they fired Tony Clifton on stage. Mr. Kaufman, in the character of Tony Clifton, put on a great act, yelling at the Taxi head honchos, “You’ll never work in this town again.” Of course, security guards escorted Tony Clifton out of the building (just as Mr. Kaufman, in the character of Tony Clifton, had wanted), and soon afterward, Mr. Kaufman, in the character of Mr. Kaufman, walked in the building, acted like nothing had happened, and did not mention Tony Clifton.

• Back when Johnny Carson was king of late-night television as host of The Tonight Show, Drew Carey — and every other standup comedian — dreamed of getting on the show. They also dreamed of being called over by Mr. Carson to sit on the couch — something he did only when he really, really liked a comedian’s act. Unfortunately, Mr. Carey missed his first chance to be on The Tonight Show. While he was out of town, he did not check his messages, and when he returned to LA, he heard the message inviting him to be on The Tonight Show. He called The Tonight Showimmediately, of course, but unfortunately they had already found another comic. The booker told Mr. Carey, “We’ll get back to you.” Mr. Carey took the mishap well, figuring that when The Tonight Showcalled again, he would have more experience and be funnier. Sure enough, The Tonight Showdid call him again — two years later. Mr. Carey was very, very funny, and Mr. Carson invited him to sit on the couch. This TV appearance started many good things for Mr. Carey, who says, “I would take a bullet for Johnny Carson.”


Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved



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To me

t r e f o l o g y


A man is never standing so tall as when he

when he is standing on stilts, and never looks so

ridiculous as when he is wearing those long stilt pants.

TO ME: He who lives by the sword may be occasionally

asked to pick-up the sword’s mail. TO ME: Real beauty

comes from with-in, and it slowly eats away at your

insides, until it escapes & attacks your family. TO ME:

Fashion-wise, a pith helmet is easier to pull off if

you have a gap between your teeth. TO ME: Anyone who

has ever claimed that sound cannot exist in a vacuum

has tried to sleep past nine a.m. at a motel. TO ME:

All pop music written after the song “green-sleeves” sucks.

TO ME: We will probably never know how many

dyslexic hippies joined the LDS church by accident.

TO ME: You can always 

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Music Recommendation: Bat Fangs — “Fangs Out”


Music: “Fangs Out” from the album BAT FANGS

Artist: Bat Fangs

Artist Location: Carrboro, North Carolina

Info: “NC/DC superghouls Bat Fangs pick up where Roky & the Aliens blasted off — cranking acid-soaked 80s hard rock for the living and the dead. Making heady heavy music for third eyes and stiff upper lips, Betsy Wright (Ex Hex) shreds and howls over Laura King’s (Flesh Wounds / Speed Stick) deep-thunder drums. Let the Bat Fangs sink in!”

Connor Henricksen (fan) wrote, “It feels like the lovechild of Heart and Scorpions. A great revival of 1980s hard rock. Favorite track: Fangs Out.”

Price: $1 (USD) for song; $7 (USD) for nine-track album

If you are OK with paying for it, you can use PAYPAL or CREDIT CARD.

Genre: Rock

Bat Fangs on Bandcamp

David Bruce: The Coolest People in Comedy‚ Prejudice, Problem-Solving


• Brett Butler, star of TV’s Grace Under Fire, once heard a bigot engaging in gay-bashing in a public place. She followed him outside and told him, “You’ve got to be really careful where you gay-bash.” Of course, he asked, “Why?” She replied, “Because I know a lot of faggots who can kick your *ss — if the dykes don’t get you first.”

• Stand-up comedian Laura Kightlinger has had nights when she has been on stage and men in the audience have called out to her such things as “Sit on my face” and “Show us your tits.” Ms. Kightlinger says, “In other words, I’m no different from any woman walking down the street.”


• Comedian Bill Hicks started performing before he could drive. He heard about amateur night at a club called the Comedy Workshop, so he called, asked for, and got permission to perform from the manager. Unfortunately, his parents told him that he couldn’t perform. Not an insoluble problem. Bill sneaked out of the house through his second-story window and met a friend who was old enough to drive him to the club. Bill was popular with the comedians at the Comedy Workshop and with his classmates, but a principal heard his act, then told him, “You have the sense of humor of a 3rd-grader.” Bill replied, “Well, then, you must have the comprehension of a 2nd-grader.”

• In 1965, the Friars Club, whose members are comedians, roasted Soupy Sales with comic insults. Mr. Sales and everybody else enjoyed themselves, but Friars Club member Brian Dougherty ran into a problem: He had to go to the bathroom, but he didn’t want to miss any of the jokes. Fortunately, Mr. Dougherty is a problem-solver. He whispered to Marty Allen, who was sitting next to him at a table with an overhanging tablecloth, “Hand me that pitcher.” With a relieved bladder, Mr. Dougherty was able to laugh even harder.

• Early in his career, comedian Tim Conway worked with his friend Ernie Anderson in television in Cleveland, Ohio. Mr. Anderson had a locally produced, low-budget show called Ernie’s Place; unfortunately, people did not want to appear on the show as guests. No problem. Mr. Conway simply appeared as the guest for each episode. His occupation changed from episode to episode, but his name remained the same — Dag Herford.

• When country comedian Jerry Clower started to make it big in show business, he decided to get a fancy Rolex watch, but he discovered that all of them had Roman numerals on the watch face, and he didn’t like Roman numerals. Fortunately, he was able to easily solve that problem. He hired a watchmaker to take a watch face from an inexpensive Sears and Roebuck watch and put it on the expensive Rolex watch.

• Bob Woodruff, who once headed Coca-Cola, and ventriloquist Edgar Bergen went hunting. Both shot at a wild turkey, which fell dead, but both claimed to have made the shot that killed the turkey. Mr. Bergen said, “There’s only one way to settle this.” He picked up the dead turkey and asked, “Who shot you, turkey?” The turkey replied, “You did, Bergen.”

• When African-American comedian Chris Rock joined the cast of Saturday Night Live, he noticed that when he wore such clothing as jeans and a T-shirt or sweats, the security guards would often ask him to show his ID. To solve that problem, Mr. Rock started dressing up in suits whenever he was around the set of Saturday Night Live.

• Carl Reiner, creator, writer, and producer of The Dick Van Dyke Show, sometimes wanted an extra 15 seconds to save a good joke when an episode was a little too long. He once saved a good joke by going through an episode and cutting a single frame from each scene.

• The Domestic Resurrection Circus ends each year with an exorcism of one of the forces of evil. One year, a Mother Earth puppet set the military-industrial complex on fire. Another year, the Specter of Hunger succumbed to a fiery death.


Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved



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The Princess & the Penis by R.J. Silver

I enjoyed reading this, too.


973c3d86acb049a7742a95af9751901a5c4fcc19The Princess & the Penis is about Princess Amalia, the very innocent daughter of King Norwood who wants to keep her pure until he finds a suitable and worthy husband for her.

One day, the princess woke up looking like she didn’t sleep well because of the “lump under her rump” the whole night. The story got funnier and sillier from there and oh, The Phantom Phallus was even more.

This was a cute and silly read that made me giggle and smile like an idiot for a good half an hour! A story with a naughty twist of your childhood fairy tale.

Take this for what it’s worth and it’d give you a good laugh. The two cool aunts are freaking awesome, too!

Rating: 4/5 stars

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