Gays and Lesbians
• On April 30, 1997, Ellen DeGeneres’ character, Ellen Morgan, came out in the one-hour episode of Ellentitled “The Puppy Episode.” The title of the episode was an in-joke: At a meeting to get ideas for episodes of the sitcom, someone suggested that Ellen’s character get a puppy — an idea that was rejected. The real-life Ellen also came out as a lesbian on the April 14, 1997, cover of Timewith the words, “Yep, I’m Gay.” Lots of rumors preceded the coming-out, something that Ms. DeGeneres had fun with, at one time saying, “Yes, the rumors are true. We’ll be revealing that my character is Lebanese because she enjoys both baba ganoush and Casey Kasem.” At the time, comedian Rosie O’Donnell had not publicly come out of the closet, and she teased people by saying that she really liked Casey Kasem, and so “maybe I’m Lebanese, too.”
• Lesbian comedian Sabrina Matthews is very out. Sometimes, after watching her act, straight people will tell her, “I never met a gay person before.” Ms. Matthews replies by stating the obvious, “Yeah, you did — you just didn’t know it.” She is also an activist who doesn’t mind scaring straight people when they deserve to be scared. One day, in Provincetown, Massachusetts, she noticed a straight family with a father, mother, and young son and daughter. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but this particular father was pointing at and making fun of gay people. Therefore, Ms. Matthews snuck up behind him and whispered ominously in his ear, “How much for the girl?”
• Lesbian comedian Vicki Shaw once appeared in a club where the manager — a gay man — told her not to do jokes about gays, although her jokes were gay friendly. Meanwhile, he had not told the straight male comedians appearing with her not to do gay material, although their jokes were anti-gay. Ms. Shaw told the manager, “If I can’t do gay material, then they can’t do gay material. It’s those jokes that tell the redneck drunk that it’s OK to go out and hunt some queers. … if those rednecks are out in their truck looking for gays to beat up and you and I are walking down the street, guess who they’re gonna pick?” The manager allowed her to do her gay-friendly material.
• British gay comedian Alan Carr’s on-stage persona is very much the same as his real-life off-stage persona. Once, as Mr. Carr was about to perform, someone told him, “So I’ll just leave you 10 minutes so you can get into character.” Mr. Carr replied, “Pardon?” Mr. Carr is an out comedian, but he does not specifically talk about being gay in his act. His gayness is simply there. When he is off-stage, occasionally drivers will yell at him, “Faggot!” Mr. Carr says, “I haven’t been called that since I was at school, so actually I get all nostalgic.”
• Lesbian comedian Kate Clinton usually does not believe in outing homosexuals who don’t want to be outed, but sometimes more important things — such as politics — make her want to out some of her fellow homosexuals. For example, after singer Ricky Martin was seen being chummy with George W. Bush at his first Presidential Inauguration, Ms. Clinton says that she started going into record stores, hanging around big advertisements for Ricky Martin’s newest album, and telling passersby, “Did you know he’s a big fag?” (Recently, Mr. Martin outed himself.)
• Gay comedian Bob Smith sometimes attends the Gay Pride festivities of Juneau, Alaska, where straight people celebrate alongside gays and lesbians. He once saw a hot man sitting at a bar during the Pride festivities and asked a friend who the hot guy was. This reply came back: “Oh, he’s a fisherman. He’s straight, but he doesn’t care. A party’s a party to him.” By the way, at Juneau Mr. Smith saw a Yukon lesbian folksinging group, and as you might expect, they were called the Klondykes.
• When homophobic people tell lesbian comedian Judy Carter that she just hasn’t slept with the right person yet, she replies, “You’re right. Do you know any cute homos who would be right for me?”
Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved
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