Month: April 2020

The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: Buy in Other Formats, Including PDF

Transformations — t r e f o l o g y

They call it a moon-pie, but add some spicy hot chili sauce to it and guess what? You’ve ruined it. Trefology: Remember the ‘ology’ stands for apology

via Transformations — t r e f o l o g y

David Bruce: The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2 — Contracts, Crime, Critics

Contracts

• When Enrico Caruso was under contract to the Metropolitan Opera, he was forbidden to sing elsewhere unless he had the permission of the Met. Only once did he break his contract. At a benefit for World War I soldiers, he was recognized in the audience and asked to sing “Over There,” which he did without hesitation. He then went to the Metropolitan Opera to tell its General Manager, Giulio Gatti-Casazza, that he had broken his contract. Fortunately, when he left Mr. Gatti-Casazza’s office, he was beaming. Why? As Mr. Caruso told his wife, “He excuse me.”

Crime

• As a young man in Paris, singer Cavaliere di Candia Mario was impoverished and stayed in a cheap lodging house filled with many other people. One night, he woke up to find a man standing over him. Discovering that the man was a robber who wanted the little money he had, Mario told him, “Take all you can find, my friend, but please let me continue my dreams and my sleep.”

• Giuseppi Verdi’s publisher tried to cheat him in a small matter. This aroused Verdi’s suspicions, so he checked his accounts with the publisher for the past 20 years. The publisher was forced to give Verdi 50,000 lira in back commissions.

Critics

• Tommy Ramone worked long and hard to make the Ramones a success. He continually called music critics Danny Fields and Lisa Robinson to get them to come to the Ramones concerts. Because Tommy was so persistent, Danny and Lisa decided that one of them should attend a Ramones concert. Danny was covering another concert, so Lisa went. After the concert, she told Danny, “You have got to see this band. Every song is fabulous, and nothing is longer than 14 seconds. You will love them.” Danny went, he liked what he heard, and he offered to be the band’s manager. Johnny Ramone replied, “Well, that’s very nice. But we really need a new set of drums. Can you buy us a new set of drums?” Danny visited his mother, and due to her generosity, the Ramones got both a new set of drums and a manager.

• Clint Black has been a popular country music for years, and he keeps working to find ways to make good music. In 2007, he was working on an album to be released in early 2008. The album would include a 2007 single titled “The Strong One” and a duet titled “You Still Get to Me” with his wife, Lisa Hartman-Black. Of course, he works hard on his music, and he has a few ways to tell whether an album will be any good. Mr. Black says, “I have to keep inventing ways to make myself make a different, albeit better or worse, record. This one happens to be very, very good, according to me. And the guys who played on it, and the record company who sells it, and … my dad.”

• Joan Hammond once starred in a BBC radio performance of an opera at which she was not present. The opera was Turandot, and she was scheduled to sing two performances. The first performance went well, but the second performance a few days later found Ms. Hammond ill and in bed. Fortunately, the BBC was able to use the recording of Ms. Hammond’s part that they had made in recording the first performance and integrate it with the live singers in the radio studio. Ms. Hammond states, “Some kind people even thought that I had sung better on the second night!”

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The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: Buy the Paperback

The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: Buy in Other Formats, Including PDF

David Bruce: The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2 — Conductors, Contracts

Conductors

• André Previn made his debut as a conductor at age 20 in Hollywood. At his first rehearsal, he stood in front of the orchestra, well aware of his youth, and wondering how he would be able to command the respect of the musicians in the orchestra, many of whom were his friends. He asked the oboe player for an A for the orchestra to tune up to, and he was shocked to hear an A-flat. He told the members of the orchestra, “Now everybody transpose a half-tone up.” Everybody laughed, and Maestro Previn had earned the respect of the orchestra.

• Even when he was an old man, conductor Arturo Toscanini was known for his rages when things did not proceed to his satisfaction at rehearsals. After Toscanini flew into a rage at a rehearsal with his last orchestra, the NBC Symphony, one of the musicians asked first trumpet Harry Glantz, who had played under Toscanini when he was conducting the New York Philharmonic, “Was he any worse in his Philharmonic days?” Mr. Glantz significantly pointed out, “He was 15 years younger.”

• Bruno Walter was a guest conductor with the New York Philharmonic when he was distracted by first cellist Alfred Wallenstein, who never looked at him, but instead looked at the walls or other places where Maestro Walter was not to be seen. Maestro Walter spoke later with Mr. Wallenstein and discovered that his ambition was to be a conductor. Maestro Walter replied, “I only hope you don’t have Wallenstein in front of you.”

• In some cities, if you become famous enough, you will be honored with a plaque on the front wall of your house. While strolling through Bergamo, Italy, conductors Gianandrea Gavazzeni and Olivero de Fabritis saw such a plaque on the front wall of the house of opera composer Gaetano Donizetti. Mr. Gavazzeni said, “I wonder what they will write on our houses.” Mr. de Fabritis answered, “FOR RENT.”

• Erich Leinsdorf was a competent conductor, but one fault he had was a small beat. This was a problem for ballet dancers because dancing at a fast pace left little opportunity for catching his small beat. Some of the musicians in his orchestra also thought his beat was too small. At one rehearsal, one musician — a member of a strong union — used a telescope to focus on Mr. Leinsdorf’s beat.

• One advantage of being a prominent conductor is being able occasionally to get advice from the prominent composer whose work you are conducting. Pierre Monteux occasionally worked with Claude Debussy, who used to stand behind him at rehearsals and sometimes shout, “Monteux, that’s a forte, and when I write a forte, I want a forte!”

• Many great conductors have conducted without a score, and many great conductors have conducted with a score. When Hans Knappertsbusch was asked why he conducted with a score, he snapped, “Because I can read music.”

Contracts

• Atlantic Records’ Ahmet Ertegun and Herb Abramson once combed the backwaters of New Orleans looking for musical talent. They even walked to places where white taxi drivers feared to take them. Eventually, they found Professor Longhair playing in a shack and singing old-time blues. They listened for a while, and then Mr. Ertegun told Mr. Abramson, “My God, we’ve discovered a primitive genius.” They then approached Professor Longhair, and Mr. Ertegun introduced himself and said, “You won’t believe this, but I want to record you.” Professor Longhair replied, “You won’t believe this, but I just signed with Mercury.”

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The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: Buy the Paperback

The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: Buy in Other Formats, Including PDF

Quote of the Week

HappymessHappiness

Experience is the teacher of all things.
~Julius Caesar

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A Six-Word Story

Very timely.

HappymessHappiness

We can always start again. Always.

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David Bruce: The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2 — Composers, Concerts, Conductors

Composers

• Claude Debussy listened to the very first playing of his String Quartet, then told the musicians, “You play the movement twice as fast as I thought it should go.” He paused and let the faces of the musicians fall, then added, “But it’s so much better your way.”

• Arturo Toscanini respected the intention of the composers whose music he conducted. Once, a musician asked him if he wanted a crescendo at a certain point in the music. Toscanini replied, “Brahms wants that crescendo — not Toscanini!”

Concerts

• Cellist Pablo Casals and organist Gabriel Pierné were once supposed to do a concert at which the Dvorak Concerto for ’Cello would be played, but Mr. Casals withdrew from the concert when Mr. Pierné insulted the concerto by calling it “dirty music.” Because Mr. Casals had signed a contract to perform at the concert, he was sued, and he lost the lawsuit. Nevertheless, Mr. Casals had a lot of support from the music community for his refusal to perform with Mr. Pierné. Conductor Pierre Monteux told him, “The adagio of the Dvorak ’Cello Concerto is one of the most beautiful slow movements ever written. You were quite right in your refusal, cher ami.”

• Tenor Richard Lewis and some colleagues were going to sing at a concert in Wales. The concert committee had set the program, and when Mr. Lewis looked at it, he noticed that it was exactly the same program that they had sung there the previous year. When he inquired why they wanted the singers to perform the same songs as last year, the committee replied, “Oh, we just wanted to see if you could sing them any better!”

• The orchestra of the Metropolitan Opera is made up — as you would expect — of highly skilled and educated musicians, and it has been for a long time. Gabriel Peyre, a violinist for the Met during the mid-1950s, remembered that the lights went out during a concert where the orchestra performed the Semiramide Overture. No problem. The orchestra finished the piece from memory.

Conductors

• Meredith Willson, author and composer of The Music Man, once played in a symphony orchestra that used to hire itself out to anyone with money and the desire to say that he had been a guest conductor of the Philharmonic. Many of these guest conductors were not only monied and proud — they were bad. One such guest conductor used to insist on personally tuning each instrument before the concert. So he would tell the first cello to play his A string, then tell him, “Ah-ah-ah-ah, it’s juuuuust a little sharp — that’s better. There we are. Thenk yo veddy much. Next!” However, the guest conductor didn’t realize that the cello section was on to him. All 10 members of the cello section, one after another, brought the exact same cello — just tuned by the guest conductor — out to the guest conductor, and each time the guest conductor had the cellist retune the cello.

• At one time, many operas were performed with many cuts so that they would end quickly; however, Arturo Toscanini wanted the operas to be performed with every note intact exactly as the composer had written them. One day, he was rehearsing the Metropolitan Opera orchestra when the musicians played the music as they were accustomed to play it — with deep cuts. Mr. Toscanini stopped them, crying, “But you do not play your parts!” The musicians stated that they were playing their parts, and when Mr. Toscanini looked at their sheet music, he said, “True, true. You play what is written — only it is not what the composer wrote. Let us open up those cuts, now, and hear the music as the composer intended it to be.”

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The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: Buy the Paperback

The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: Buy in Other Formats, Including PDF

Republican Strategist Denounces the Party’s Response to COVID-19 | Amanpour and Company (YouTube)

Republican Strategist Denounces the Party’s Response to COVID-19 | Amanpour and Company (YouTube; 16 minutes)

Republican strategist Stuart Stevens is known for advising key GOP campaigns like Mitt Romney’s 2012 presidential bid. Now he has written a powerful mea culpa for the Washington Post, laying the blame for what he regards as President Trump’s failed response to the coronavirus pandemic squarely at the feet of all Republicans. Michel speaks with Stevens about all this and about his new book, “It Was All a Lie: How the Republican Party Became Donald Trump.” Originally aired on March 31, 2020.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V93FA12oBCA&feature=youtu.be

David Bruce: The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2 — Competition, Composers

Competition

• During the 1950s, Jamaican bar and dance-hall owners traveled throughout the United States looking for the best records to play. In these battles of the sound systems, a system owner with a good record would try to keep it secret from other system owners. Often, the system owner would either scratch the name of the producer and the title of the song off the record label or would paste a false label with a false name and a false title over the original record label.

• Roy Henderson once sang with a small-town choral society in Yorkshire. At the end of the concert, the conductor asked what he thought of the choir. Of course, Mr. Henderson replied that it was a very good choir, and the conductor said, “Aye, an’ I don’t mind tellin’ ee that we ’ad four basses ready to taak thy part if tha’d conked out.”

Composers

• John Philip Sousa composed “The Stars and Stripes Forever” in 1896, while returning from a European tour. While he was on board ship, it seemed as if a band were playing in his head, and when he reached land, he wrote down the music the band had been playing. He felt strongly about the title — when his music publisher wanted the title to be “Stars and Stripes,” Mr. Sousa insisted that the word “Forever” remain in the title. Of course, this became his most famous composition, and it remained a part of his concerts until the end of his life. Paul Bierley, an expert on Mr. Sousa’s life and music, says, “He would have been tarred and feathered if he didn’t play it. When the March King came to town, you had to hear ‘The Stars and Stripes Forever.’” On March 6, 1932, Mr. Sousa conducted a concert in Reading, Pennsylvania. The last composition his band played was, as you would expect, “The Stars and Stripes Forever.” Later that day, at age 77, Mr. Sousa died.

• Dan Penn and Spooner Oldham wrote a number of R&B hits of the 1960s, including “I’m Your Puppet,” “Dark End of the Street,” and “Sweet Inspiration.” They worked hard, but their method of delivering their songs to the musicians was unusual — they wrote late until the night and early the next morning, then they left the pages on which they had written their songs on the floor for the musicians to pick up later. Mr. Penn says, “It was kinda like, take that! We worked hard, we wrote a good song, now there it is! You pick it up! Bend over!”

• Composer Giuseppe Verdi, composer of La Traviata, Aida, and Otello, was greatly loved by the Italian people. When he was old, he entered a buffet at a railroad station, and all present stood up with their hats off until he sat down. After he had finished his meal, all present stood up again and lined his path to the train with their cloaks, which Verdi stepped on as he bowed and acknowledged his countrymen’s compliment.

• Famous bandleader and musician Tito Puente once guest-starred on The Simpsons. When he met Alf Clausen, who conducts the music for The Simpsons, Mr. Puente immediately asked, “What I want to know first is, am Igoing to tell you what to do or are you going to tell me what to do?” Mr. Clausen said, “Well, I’m a really good listener,” and Mr. Puente replied, “All right, you tell me what to do.”

• Bullies are common in English boarding schools. Edward Elgar showed up for his first day at school when a bully asked him for his name. He replied, “Edward Elgar,” but the bully snapped, “Say ‘Sir’!” So he said, “Sir Edward Elgar.” Later, after becoming a world-famous composer, he was knighted.

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The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: Buy the Paperback