By Charles Robert Lindholm
You Will Vote
Them All Out Of
Used To Keep
The Wrong People From
Voting – You!
Copyright © 2020 Charles Robert Lindholm – The Reluctant Poet
All Rights Reserved – 10-23-2020 – 5:45 p.m. Please Vote – For God’s Sake Vote!!
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• When writer Dick DeBartolo began writing for MAD magazine, he quickly discovered that the employees engaged in a lot of good-natured ribbing. For example, he once brought a comic article to his boss, Nick Meglin, who laughed and laughed while reading the article. However, when Mr. DeBartolo asked which jokes he had laughed at most, Mr. Meglin replied, “None of the jokes. I was laughing at the typos. God, are you an awful speller!” (Don’t feel bad for Mr. DeBartolo — for a span of several years, every issue of MAD included at least one article by him.)
• As a child, Mark Twain used to play a practical joke on his mother. He would go to a cave (McDowell’s Cave, which served as the model for McDougal’s Cave in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer), capture a bat, put it in his pocket, take it home, and then tell his mother that he had something for her in his pocket. In his Autobiography, Mr. Twain marveled that his mother never learned to like bats: “The more experience she had, the more she could not change her views.”
• When artist Neysa McMein went to Paris, she asked writers Alexander Woollcott and Heywood Broun for the name of a good, cheap hotel she could stay in. Unfortunately, after she had arrived at the “hotel” and checked in, her friends Grace Moore and Cole Porter visited and revealed to her that she was staying in a brothel.
• While attending Cornell University, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., was required to take ROTC. At an ROTC inspection, Mr. Vonnegut once wore on his military uniform every medal he could borrow — he wore Boy Scout medals, medals for swimming, and even medals for Sunday School attendance.
• David Klass, children’s book author of California Blue and You Don’t Know Me, had a college professor father who embarrassed him when he was a child by volunteering to be his assistant baseball coach in a summer league. Some of the other fathers were racists and homophobes, including one father who played a discriminatory “game” while driving the children to an away baseball game. The “game” consisted of the father pretending his hand was a gun and cocking his finger then aiming at non-white people and saying “bang.” At least, the father was non-discriminatory in his hatred. Black, Hispanic, Asian didn’t matter to him — if someone was non-white, he aimed his “gun” at them and said “bang.” One day, when David’s professor father had his turn driving some children to an away game, one of the children saw two men walking together along the side of the road. The child rolled down the window and yelled, “Homos!” David’s professor father stopped the car by the side of the road, then he told the child, “Just for your information, homo- is a Greek root. It means ‘equal’ or ‘like.’ As in homogeneous. It also means ‘man,’ from the Latin. As in Homo sapiens. So if you were trying to say those two guys are alike, or that they’re both men, you were right. Otherwise you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Then he drove on. Today, Mr. Klass realizes how lucky he was to have a father like that.
• Emma Lazarus, a Jewish-American poet whose poem “The New Colossus” graces the base of the Statue of Liberty, was a defender of her people. When the Century magazine published an article by an important Russian scholar, Zinaida Alexievna Ragozin, Ms. Lazarus knew that the article had to be refuted because it stated that the Jewish people had brought the then-current, late 19th-century pogroms in Russia upon themselves through being “worshippers of the Golden Calf,” caring only about money, and plotting to destroy Russia. Ms. Lazarus asked the editor of the Century, Richard Watson Gilder, who would respond to and rebut the article, and Mr. Gilder responded, “You, of course.” Ms. Lazarus did exactly that.
Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved
The Funniest People in Books, Volume 2 — Buy
BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC
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