backseat driver
we cruise through life and think that we are responsible
for everything that happens
for all the doors we don’t open
for all the windows we close
sometimes I feel so much for the way things were
a sense of loneliness that only I seem to recall
I listen to old songs
I watch the same movies, trying
to hold onto something I can’t touch
time passes
whether we acknowledge it or not
and all we can do is keep driving
Animals
• Of course, the real star of the television sitcom Mr. Ed was Mr. Ed, the horse—not Alan Young, who played Wilbur Post. Because of this, Mr. Young had to do his best in every shot—if the horse was perfect in doing what he was supposed to do, that was the shot that was used. Mr. Young also says that when the horse was tired, that was the end of shooting for the day.
• The family of Quaker humorist Tom Mullen adopted a stray dog, which they named Terry. Terry was so well fed that she was overweight, and because she was overweight, her legs bowed. In addition, her tail wagged so much that one of the Mullen children called her “a story with a happy ending.”
• Although many people don’t realize it, much wildlife lives in New York City. Comedian (and birder) Bob Smith was watching a motionless Great Blue Heron in a Central Park lily pond when an astonished tourist asked him, “Is it real?”
• While working at WING radio in Dayton, Ohio, comedian Jonathan Winters brought a horse in to be his surprise guest, even though he had to bring it up three flights of stairs.
Audiences
• Harry Houdini used to perform his famous needles-and-thread illusion, during which he seemed to swallow first thread, then sewing needles. After allowing a member of the audience to look into his mouth and verify that no thread and needles were there, Houdini would pull the thread from his mouth, showing the audience that all the needles had been strung on the thread, supposedly while they were in his stomach. During one performance, Groucho Marx was in the audience. When Houdini asked for a volunteer from the audience, Groucho stepped forward and peered into Houdini’s mouth. After Houdini asked Groucho what he saw there, Groucho replied, “Gum disease.”
• On a horribly cold night in Cleveland, stand-up comedian Judy Carter came out to perform in front of an audience of only two people. She ended up sitting at their table and telling a few jokes. After the “show” was over, the couple invited her to their home for breakfast. She accepted.
• Weird comedian Andy Kaufman once came out on stage and started singing “100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” The audience hated it, but when Mr. Kaufman left the stage after getting down to “2 Bottles of Beer,” the audience wanted him to finish the song.
• Much of Richard Lewis’ comedy is about the pain of being alive. One day, some UCLA students—the image of health and happiness—recognized him when he was in his car and shouted to him, “We’re in pain, too.”
Bombing
• Very early in her career as a stand-up comedian, Carol Siskind bombed horribly in a club in which her brother was a member of the audience. She refused to let him not see her succeed, so she dragged him to another club, where she also bombed. Still refusing to let him go home, she dragged her brother to yet another club, where finally, at 2 a.m., she had a good set. Only after her brother had finally seen her succeed would she let him go home.
• Very early in her career, Phyllis Diller did what all beginning comedians do—bomb. To get into show business, she called the Red Cross and volunteered her services as a comedian. They sent her to a veterans’ hospital, where she performed in front of four guys who yelled at her, “Leave us alone—we’re already in pain.”
• The very dignified Greer Garson guested on Jimmy Durante’s program. She didn’t know anything about comedy and asked Mr. Durante what would happen if the show wasn’t funny. Mr. Durante replied, “Then, Miss Garson, we’re all gonna be in the toilet together.”
***
Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved
***
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BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC
Music: “Stole My Love Away”
EP: THE POWDER DRY EP
Artist: Tyla J. Pallas / Tyla’s Dogs D’Amour
Info: “Tyla J. Pallas is an English musician, artist and poet. He first made a name for himself in the late 1980’s with rock n’ roll band The Dogs D’Amour. He has since released a prolific succession of albums and toured the world over as a solo artist.”
“I like a good story… so here’s one from me. I wrote ‘Stole My Love Away’ way back in December 2019, when a dear Scottish lad from the Kingdom of Fife by the name of Ian Wallace suddenly passed, he was just 50 years of age, then all of us got ill, but we didn’t die, then this year 2020 millions got ill and lots have sadly died… including my friend Dave Kusworth… thus stealing lots of loved ones away… Is there a God? Is there a Devil? Is there Fuck? Then last week 4th Nov something got my back up, but as suggested by my good friend GB ‘I Kept My Powder Dry’. I wrote ‘Powder Dry’ that night, by that following weekend and lots of work we have what you have here, something very special in these ‘Strange Times’… all to be revealed next year on ‘Treebridge Cross’… and so Ladies n’ Gents… until then… cheers T. xx”
Price: £1 (GBP) for track; £3.50 (GBP) for four-track EP
Genre: Blues.
Links:
http://www.tylasdogsdamour.com
https://tylasdogsdamour.bandcamp.com/album/the-powder-dry-ep
davidbruceblog #2 