Month: March 2021

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Barnes and Noble

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Smashwords: Many formats, Including PDF

Music Recommendation: Greg Townson — “Venus”

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “Venus”

Album: MORE! TRAVELIN’ GUITAR

Artist: Greg Townson

Artist Location: Rochester, New York

Info: “Based in Rochester, NY, Greg Townson plays guitar with Nick Lowe & Los Straitjackets. He also sings and plays guitar with The Hi-Risers, as well as performing solo.”

Performed by Greg Townson with:
Todd Bradley – bass, drums, guitar
Gussy Popp – vocals

This is an instrumental cover of the Shocking Blue hit.

Price: $1 for track; $9.99 for 13-track album

Genre: Guitar Instrumental.

Links:

MORE! TRAVELIN’ GUITAR

https://gregtownson.bandcamp.com/album/more-travelin-guitar

Greg Townson on Bandcamp

https://gregtownson.bandcamp.com

Greg Townson on YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1S5H6nu2qV77uRnJlAUXyg

David Bruce: Grandparents, Halloween, Homes

Grandparents

• The grandparents of children’s book writer Phyllis Reynolds Naylor were characters. She called her paternal grandparents Pappaw and Mammaw. They began courting when she was an infant, and he was a little boy. He would pick her up and say, “This is the girl I’m going to marry.” They did marry — when Mammaw was 15 years old and still playing with dolls. In contrast, her maternal grandparents were adults when they began to court. Her grandfather sent her grandmother a letter, asking two weeks in advance if he could go with her to church. He also offered to have a prominent doctor send a letter to her father stating that the man who wished to court his daughter had a good character.

• The grandfather of Christian writer Dale Hanson Bourke was quite a lively and feisty character. One day, as he was driving during rush hour, a large bus edged him out of the lane he was driving in. This made Grandpa angry, so he rolled down his window and shouted at the bus driver to get out of his lane. The bus driver refused, saying that his bus was bigger than Grandpa’s car. Therefore, Grandpa reached for a sledgehammer he was hauling in his car, hammered a large dent in the side of the bus, then drove off. Grandpa was also a mighty evangelizer — sometimes he even grabbed people by the lapels of their clothing and asked them, “Are you saved?”

• When Grandma Moses at age 80 was invited to attend her first important one-person art exhibit at the Galerie St. Etienne in New York City, she declined to go. Why? As she explained to the gallery director, Otto Kallir, she had no reason to go — she had already seen all of the paintings. Shortly afterward, she did attend an exhibition of her paintings at a Gimbel Brothers department store in New York City. She brought some of her homemade bread and preserves, reasoning that since she had won prizes for them and not her paintings at the county fair, people would be asking her about food and not about art.

• TV’s Mister Rogers was a rambunctious kid. Whenever he was attempting to walk on a stone wall at his grandparents’ farm and his mother or grandmother would try to stop him, his grandfather, who was named Fred McFeely, would tell them, “Let the kid walk on the wall. He’s got to learn to do things for himself.” Mister Rogers loved his grandfather, and in his TV “neighborhood,” one of the characters was a lively old deliveryman named Mr. McFeely.

• When the young granddaughter of artist Edna Hibel developed “lazy eye” and had to wear an eye patch under her glasses, Ms. Hibel taped over one lens of her glasses and painted a rose on it as a decoration to make wearing the eye patch a more pleasurable experience.

Halloween

• Joe, the young son of Lisa M. Wayman, RN, started chemotherapy to treat his cancer, and his hair fell out. Therefore, for his Halloween costume, he dressed up as his bald father. Young Joe even wore a fake beard. Before he died, he taught his mother not to be so serious all the time and to laugh occasionally.

Homes

• Many families have a hard time sharing a bathroom, which is sometimes the busiest room in a house. However, when Paris Singer of the family that manufactured Singer sewing machines bought modern dance pioneer Isadora Duncan a hotel outside Paris to serve as her dancing school, she didn’t have to worry about that problem. Of the hotel’s 200 rooms, 80 were bathrooms!

• Not all volcanic eruptions are swift. In Hawaii, one volcano emitted molten lava slowly. In fact, residents on the island had plenty of time to leave their houses and move their household possessions out of the line of lava. In some cases, people sat on lawn chairs and drank cold beer from a safe distance as they watched the molten lava flow upon and destroy their houses.

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The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Buy

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Buy The Paperback

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Barnes and Noble

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Smashwords: Many formats, Including PDF

Music Recommendation: The GTVs — “Emperor’s New Jam”

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “Emperor’s New Jam”

Double-sided Single: “Lingering Chills” is bound with “Emperor’s New Jam”

Artist: The GTVs

Artist Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Info: “Philadelphia’s mod-garage kings return with a new digital single! The A-side is a balls-out garage rager, and the B-side is a groovy Booker T-style instrumental.”

The B-side is “Emperor’s New Jam”

Sam Steinig: Hammond Organ, Lead Vocals
Pat Wescott: Guitar, Vocals
Patrick Crowling: Bass, Vocals

Dave Johnson, a fan, wrote, “Great stuff. Retro cool and oh sooo groovy. Favorite track: ‘Lingering Chills.’”

Price: $1 for track; $2 for double-sided single

Genre: Garage

Links:

“Lingering Chills” b/w “Emperor’s New Jam”

https://thegtvs.bandcamp.com/album/lingering-chills-b-w-emperors-new-jam

The GTVs on Bandcamp

https://thegtvs.bandcamp.com

David Bruce: The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Gifts, Good Deeds

Gifts

• Dr. Barry Herman, a school principal in New Haven, Connecticut, once bought candy for an ill teacher, then presented it to her, saying, “Something sweet for a sweet person.” Unfortunately, he had bought the candy at random, not bothering to read the label, which said, “Sour balls.”

Good Deeds

• Meredith Mendelson went to sea with Ocean Classroom when she was in high school. She worked hard both mentally and physically — going to sleep was no problem because she was so tired. One of the highlights of the trip was seeing a pod of humpback whales circling their ship. Unfortunately, this peaceful, quiet scene was ruined when several whale-watching boats came out from shore carrying tourists who wanted to see the whales. Their oohs, aahs, and other noises drove the whales away, as did their motors and diesel fuel. The tourists ruined the intimacy of the encounter with the whales for the sailors of Ocean Classroom. By the way, sometimes whales become entangled in nets and flotation devices left behind by fishermen, leading to death. In 2005 in Gordon’s Bag, South Africa, police diver Eben Lourens cut away most of the ropes entangling a southern right whale. National Sea Rescue Institute Gordon’s Bay Station Commander Stuart Burgess said, “We slowly approached [the whale] until we were about 30m away and then cut the engines. The whale swam up and gently bumped our rescue boat. At that point we got good visuals of the problem.” He added, “We could see the ropes and buoys entangled around the tail and the pieces trailing behind her.” Mr. Lourens was deployed ahead of the whale, and as the whale swam past him, he grabbed onto the fishing net and started cutting the ropes. He cut away most of the ropes and all of the flotation devices. Mr. Stuart said, “Although there is still some rope attached to the whale, we were unable to do more and we suspect that the remaining rope will fall free as it untangles.” Mr. Lourens said, “It’s not something I’d done before, so the adrenalin was pumping through me. But it was very satisfying afterwards.” After the rescue, the whale was swimming much more easily. Mr. Burgess said that commercial crayfishers often left their nets behind: “We find them all the time. In one afternoon recently we found four of them.” The nets are hazardous not only for whales, he said, but also for boats — especially at night. Freeing a whale can be very dangerous — even deadly — work. Nan Rice of the Save the Whales Campaign said, “It is very dangerous to attempt such a thing without the proper equipment and tools. The public must take note and not try and do this by themselves. You cannot swim up to a whale and try to cut it loose. It is extremely dangerous.” In New Zealand, a diver was killed during an attempted whale rescue, she said: “The whale slammed its tail down on top of him, and he was gone. I feel that human lives are just as valuable as those of animals, and I don’t think it is right to risk one for the other.”

• Civilians suffer during war, including the American Civil War. A hungry Virginian woman appeared at the Union camp of General Newton M. Curtis, asking for help. However, she was required to take an oath of allegiance to the Union cause before receiving food or other help. This she declined to do because both her husband and her son were fighting for the Confederate cause. Rather than letting her depart without help, General Curtis gave her money from his own pocket so she could buy food and other necessities.

• In July 1863, a 16-year-old Confederate woman named Cornelia Barrett did a remarkable good deed for a dying Yankee soldier. He requested that she write a letter for him to his fiancée. He also requested that she send his fiancée a lock of his hair and his gold ring. She did as he asked, and a few months later she received a letter from the soldier’s sweetheart, thanking her for her kindness.

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The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Buy

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Buy The Paperback

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Barnes and Noble

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Smashwords: Many formats, Including PDF

Music Recommendation: Dorothy-Jane — Speak Out”

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “Speak Out”

Single: This is a one-sided single.

Artist: Dorothy-Jane

Artist Location: Canberry, Australia

Info:

“Dorothy-Jane tackles the confusion, fear and shame of sexual abuse and hopes to empower victims to speak out.

“She writes from personal experience, in this instance from the perspective of being the witness to her husband’s sexual abuse of a young child. She says, ‘It was a shocking discovery as the child was a frequent visitor in our household. I was also shocked to find out after that this was not the first time the child had been in the grasp of my husband’s behaviour.’

“Although this happened in 2016 and Dorothy-Jane’s now ex-husband is in prison, she is only now beginning to understand the level of control offenders have over their victims and the complex layers of these abusive relationships. She explains, ‘Initially I wondered why the child hadn’t told me or her parents that this was happening. Later I found out that my husband had told her that people see it as wrong and if they found out he would go to jail!’”

Dorothy-Jane (vocal, harmonica)

Ali Penney (keys)

Ben Hoare (guitars)

Matt Nightingale (bass)

Jack Barnard (drums)

Guest musicians: John Mackey (saxophone).

Chorus of voices: Johnny Huckle, Reidar Jorgensen, Krista Kamprad Grunreich, Finn Kamprad, Alison Penney, Rachel Thorne

Price: $1.20 (AUS) for track

Genre: Singer-Songwriter

Links:

“Speak Out”

https://dorothy-jane.bandcamp.com/track/speak-out

Dorothy-Jane on Bandcamp

https://dorothy-jane.bandcamp.com

Music Recommendation: The Metalunas — “Bikini Party”

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “Bikini Party”

Album: INTERSTELLAR SURF PARTY

Artist: The Metalunas

Artist Location: Vancouver, Canada

Record Company: Surf Cookie Records

Record Company Location: Greece

Info: “Surf-revival guitarist Mark Brodie — previously of Mark Brodie & the Beaver Patrol — formed the Metalunas upon his return to Vancouver from Japan, where he had lived from 1996-97 fronting another surf combo called the Saboteurs. Featuring a rhythm section of Mike Cinnamon (bass) and Rod Moore (drums), the Metalunas made their recording debut in 1999 with X-Minus-One.” — Steve Huey, AllMusic

Price: €1 (RURO) for track; €8 (EURO) for 14-track album.”

Genre: Surf.

Links:

INTERSTELLAR SURF PARTY

https://surfcookierecords.bandcamp.com/album/sc029-interstellar-surf-party-cd-digital

Surf Cookie Records

https://surfcookierecords.bandcamp.com

David Bruce: The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — For, Games and Contests, Gifts

Food

• When David B. Feinberg got AIDS, he had to make changes to his diet. For example, he was advised to put on extra pounds while he still could because AIDS wastes away the body. Also, he had to avoid such foods as sushi and soft, runny cheeses — such as brie. This upset Mr. Feinberg. He complained to a friend named John Palmer Weir, Jr., “How can I be a card-carrying homo without brie?” Mr. Weir pointed out, “There’s still quiche. We’ll always have quiche.”

• Arturo Toscanini and Carla, his wife, once visited the home of Arthur O’Connell. Mrs. Toscanini, always a curious sort, went into the kitchen to investigate a huge pot of spaghetti. The Italian cook, always a sensitive sort, abandoned the kitchen to ask Mr. O’Connell who “that woman” was. Fortunately, the cook was pleased to learn that “that woman” was Mrs. Toscanini, and fortunately, the spaghetti was excellent and enjoyed by all.

• While in Paris, Robert Benchley told some friends that he had once had some memorable pressed duck in a restaurant in Montmartre, so they all set off for the restaurant. Unfortunately, after everyone had ordered and been served the pressed duck, Mr. Benchley recalled why the pressed duck was so memorable — it was the worst he had ever tried to eat.

• During Lent, many Christians give up something they like as a sign of penitence. One small boy gave up ice cream — “all except chocolate.”

Games and Contests

• Young people’s novelist William Sleator grew up in a family of oddballs. When William was a young boy, his father, his younger sister Vicky, and he used to play a game. His father would blindfold them, drive them to a part of the city that William and Vicky had never been before, then drop them off and let them find their way back home. Of course, William and Vicky did have enough money to call home in case they ran into trouble finding their way back. The only time they used the telephone money was when two of their friends came along to play the game and panicked. Then William and Vicky let their friends use the money to call their home. Unfortunately, since the two friends didn’t know where they were in the city, they also panicked their parents, who called Mr. Sleator. Mr. Sleator calmly finished his lunch, which he had just started eating, then drove off and found the children within 10 minutes. Meanwhile, the friends’ parents called the police, and both parents left the house to look for the children. Mr. Sleator did not know the police had been called, and he could not contact the friends’ parents, since they had both left home. (This was in the days before cell phones.) Perhaps understandably, the friends thereafter did not visit the Sleators.

• When Marvel Comics maven Stan Lee was fifteen years old, he started entering a news contest run by the New York Herald-Tribune. Contestants were supposed to write in 500 words or fewer their pick for the top news story of the week. Mr. Lee entered the contest three times in a row, he won three times in a row, and the editor of the Herald-Tribune wrote him, saying to stop entering the contest so someone else could win for a change.

Gifts

• When soprano Beverly Sells was a girl, she sang on Major Bowes’ radio broadcasts. During one broadcast, Major Bowes said that he had given young Beverly a gift for good luck: a small figurine of an elephant. In the days following, Beverly received through the mail gifts of hundreds of small figurines of elephants. Beverly was intelligent. She mentioned on the air that she was upset because her mother wouldn’t let her have long dresses. Sure enough, dozens of gifts of long dresses arrived in the mail for Beverly. She continued to con the audience by mentioning occasionally that she liked such items as Mickey Mouse watches and sleds.

• When children’s book author Sid Fleischman started going bald, his kids made him a hairpiece — they clipped hair from the family pet dog and glued it to fabric. Mr. Fleischman writes in his autobiography, The Abracadabra Kid, that he was very happy with the gift — “It gave me a punk pompadour decades before spiked hairdos became trendy.”

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The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Buy

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Buy The Paperback

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Barnes and Noble

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Smashwords: Many formats, Including PDF

Wisdom — t r e f o l o g y

Things you should never take ‘too far’ 1. a joke 2. the bus
Wisdom — t r e f o l o g y

David Bruce: The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Fathers, Food

Fathers

• Burt Strug met his future wife, Melanie, one summer. Within one month he had convinced her to transfer to his college — and within three months he had convinced her to marry him. Today, he tells their daughter, elite gymnast Kerri Strug, “If you ever do something that dumb for a boy, I’ll strangle you.”

• Tito Fuentes, a major-league infielder, disliked knock-down pitches for what may — or may not — be a very good reason: “They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.”

Food

• William M. Gaines, the publisher of MAD magazine, loved food — and lots of it. One day, he treated the staff to a meal at the Gotham Bar and Grill, and when he ordered, he ordered LOTS of food. In fact, the number of entrees ordered at a MAD dinner usually numbered twice the number of diners. For one thing, Mr. Gaines would order a few entrees for himself only, as well as a few that were simply placed on the table so that anyone could help himself if he were so inclined. On this occasion, he and his staff ordered so many appetizers, entrees, desserts, and wines that a waitress appeared on an errand from the kitchen. “The chef sent me out,” she said. “He wants to know, Who are you?” On one occasion, the wait staff brought over an additional table — not for extra diners, but simply to have room for all the food and drink that had been ordered. (This occasion turned into a four-hour feeding frenzy.) MAD writer Dick DeBartolo was a dessert freak, and at his first meal with Mr. Gaines, he told him that he always looked at the dessert menu first, so he would know whether to order a heavy or a light entree. Mr. Gaines said to order whatever he wanted for the entree and let him take care of dessert. When it was time for dessert, Mr. Gaines ordered one of every choice, so the waiter brought over an entire dessert cart and left it.

• When figure skater Sasha Cohen was a little girl, her parents would not let her eat junk food at home, so she had to get spoiled at her grandparents’ house. She remembers her grandmother’s brand of discipline: “Sasha, you cannot have ice cream if you do not finish your doughnut first!” Sasha was a lover of ice cream, even at age 5, so she loved her grandmother’s other strict rule: No child is allowed to eat ice cream more than three times per day. Her parents would sometimes indulge her with a kid’s ice cream cone away from the house, and Sasha remembers once requesting of the salesperson, “Please make my kid’s cone extra large.” He thought that this was funny, and so the scoop that he gave her was huge. She once ordered ice cream in a cup at a restaurant, but the server forgot to bring her a spoon. No problem. Young Sasha knew that spoons were located in a big container nearby, so she went to the container, which was high above her head, and she started pulling on it. Soon, the container and lots of silverware tumbled noisily to the ground. Everyone in the restaurant grew quiet, but little Sasha triumphantly held a spoon up and announced, “I got it!” The people in the restaurant applauded.

• Queen Kaahumanu was the first feminist of Hawaii. When she was born, women on the islands had to live by many rules. For example, women were not allowed to eat with the men, and women were not allowed to eat bananas, or pork, or coconuts, or baked dog. However, when her husband, King Kamehameda, died, Queen Kaahumanu decided to make a few changes. First, she became the joint ruler of the islands, along with Liholiho, her husband’s son by another wife. Then she and Liholiho’s mother started to change society by doing such things as eating bananas in front of the new king. The new king was open to the changes, and soon, the new king started eating at the same table with them. The Hawaiian people also welcomed the changes and made great changes in their way of living, including destroying many wooden idols.

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The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Buy

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Buy The Paperback

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods — Barnes and Noble