Battlefield land — t r e f o l o g y

As far as I can estimate,

There were no notable Civil War battles

in California.

***

That does not leave my

Civil War re-enactment group

with a lot to re-enact.

***

So, we mostly just sit around in

old-timey clothes,

drink lemonade,

& say things like,

“What’s the news from Washington?”

Battlefield land — t r e f o l o g y

David Bruce: The Funniest People in Relationships — Gifts, Grandparents, Husbands and Wives

Gifts

• In the late 19th century, when the Crown Prince of Germany was engaged to the Princess, they stayed at Balmoral, where they found some white heather while walking. After they were married, the Crown Prince again stayed at Balmoral, where he found some white heather in the same place they had last found it. Knowing how much the Princess liked white heather, the Crown Prince sent it to her.

• Sara, the wife of world-famous tenor Richard Tucker, was proud of her husband. Once, a business associate was trying to come up with a good idea for a gift for Mr. Tucker, so he asked Sara if he should give him calling cards. Sara replied, “What does he need calling cards for? Everybody knows who Richard Tucker is.”

Grandparents

• When comedian Arte Johnson was growing up on a farm in Michigan, everyone canned their own vegetables. One day, his family was boiling the canning jars to sterilize them when someone noticed a mouse in a spill area under the stove. They immediately shouted for Grampa to come and take care of the mouse. Annoyed, he came running from the barn carrying a shotgun, then aimed at the mouse and fired. He missed the mouse, but he did manage to shatter every canning jar on top of the stove. According to Mr. Johnson, “The green beans exploded and were hanging from the ceiling like stalactites for weeks.”

• When Walter Slezak got a job acting in New York, his grandmother sent a note to the captain of the ship that would take him to America. The note said this: “My grandson is sailing on your ship to America. Please keep an eye on him and drive carefully.” The note amused the captain. On one occasion, Mr. Slezak was playing cards at 3:30 a.m., so the captain sent his steward to tell him it was time to go to bed. On another occasion, the seas were rough, so the captain sent Mr. Slezak a note: “I am driving carefully.”

• Ruth Anderson was the council president of the Akron, Ohio, Covenant Community Church. One year, her four-year-old granddaughter visited her all the way from Massachusetts. Ms. Anderson took her granddaughter to church, although her granddaughter’s parents were not regular church-attending people. The granddaughter was impressed by the experience and told her parents, “They have a place they go to here in Ohio. They call it church.”

• Poet Nikki Giovanni, author of “Ego-Tripping,” believes in family, and she also believes in being prepared. She feels that grandmothers ought to know how to bake cookies and other goodies for children, and when she learned that she would soon be a grandmother, she learned how to bake.

Husbands and Wives

• A couple of coincidences saved the lives of married dancers Marian Ladré and Illaria Obidenna Ladré. Because Mrs. Ladré couldn’t get a visa, she stayed behind in Romania while her husband went on tour in South America. Mrs. Ladré couldn’t get a visa because of a mistake made by her mother, who couldn’t speak much Romanian. When the Romanian bureaucrat asked her where her daughter was born, she thought they were asking her where her daughter was staying, and so she answered the question incorrectly. Because of the mistake, the bureaucrat wouldn’t give her daughter a visa. The mistake saved Mrs. Ladré’s life. Later, she started hemorrhaging and needed medical care immediately. If she had been in the jungles of South America, she would not have received the medical care she needed. At the same time Mrs. Ladré fell ill, her husband was on a train in the jungles of Brazil, unable to sleep because of worrying about his wife. The axle under his train car started burning. Because Mr. Ladré was awake, he was able to have the train stopped before an accident occurred.

***

Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

The Funniest People in Relationships — Buy

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Music Recommendation: Draculina — “Dracula’s Theme”

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “Dracula’s Theme”

EP: STRIP TRIP TO MIRACLE COVE

Artist: Draculina

Artist Location: St. Petersburg, Russia

Info: “Debut EP by DRACULINA from Saint Petersburg, Russia. Featuring bassist Polina Draculina (previously with Black Lagoons and Messer Chups), who is joined by guitarist Paul Mochalov (Coffin Wheels), drummer Andrew Egorov, and percussionist Larry Mullins (Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, Iggy Pop, The Stooges, The Swans)!” 

Recorded at Partizan Records in Saint Petersburg, Russia.

Polina Draculina – bass 
Paul Mochalov – guitar 
Andrew Egorov – drums 
Larry Mullins – percussion, vibraphone

Price: $1 for track; $3 for four-track EP

Genre: Instrumental Surf

Links:

STRIP TRIP TO MIRACLE COVE

https://draculinaofficial.bandcamp.com/album/strip-trip-to-miracle-cove

Draculina on Bandcamp

https://draculinaofficial.bandcamp.com