• A little boy had been naughty, so as punishment he was sent to bed after supper and was not allowed to watch his favorite TV program. His mother told him as he went to his room, “Pray to God so you can be a good boy tomorrow.” “Why?” asked the little boy. “What’s on TV tomorrow?”
• In Philadelphia, the Old First Reformed Church, United Church of Christ, always has a Christmas program in which a newborn baby from the congregation portrays the baby Jesus in a scene set in the manger. If a woman in the congregation gives birth to a girl, then Jesus is portrayed by a girl. If an African-American woman in the congregation gives birth, then Jesus is portrayed by an African-American baby. If a Hispanic woman in the congregation gives birth, then Jesus is portrayed by a Hispanic baby. One year, a woman in the congregation gave birth to twins, so Jesus was portrayed by twins.
• Comedian Lou Costello enjoyed trimming the Christmas tree by himself late on Christmas Eve after his children had gone to bed. One year, he arrived home very late on Christmas Eve because he had been detained at the radio station where The Abbott and Costello Program was produced, and he saw that the butler had decorated the tree. Mr. Costello was so disappointed that he went to his bedroom and cried.
• A Sunday School class taught by Rolf E. Aaseng participated in a Christmas program that celebrated Jesus, the Light of the World. Four members of the class were supposed to carry large cardboard letters on stage to spell out the word STAR, but they got mixed up and displayed the letters in reverse order: RATS.
• Michael Moore, the director of Roger and Me, went Christmas caroling in 1998 at the homes of the CEOs of the top tobacco companies. He took along with him the Awful Truth Choir, whose members have lost their voice boxes (aka larynxes) because they smoked.
• As a young pastor, William Woughter wanted to set new attendance records at his church. Therefore, he got hold of a number of old vinyl records and promised that whoever brought the most visitors to church on Sunday could publicly break a record over his head. Things went well for the first four Sundays — attendance was booming, and the records broke easily (pun definitely intended). On the fifth and final record-breaking Sunday, a young boy proudly led 27 visitors into the church. However, when the young boy took hold of the record and tried to break it over Pastor William’s head, the record refused to break — despite the boy’s several valiant attempts to break it. Later, a bruised Pastor William discovered that this particular record had been made with an unbreakable metal core.
• The Second Ponce de Leon Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia, used to have a problem with parking. Nearby were two other places of worship: the Catholic Cathedral of Christ the King and the Episcopal Cathedral of St. Philip. Parking was hard to come by, and since these two churches met for worship earlier than the Second Ponce de Leon Baptist Church, the Catholics and Episcopalians used to park in the parking lot of the Baptist Church, resulting in a lack of parking spaces for the Baptists when they arrived for worship. Fortunately, the Second Ponce de Leon Baptist Church was able to solve the problem. Members of the Baptist Church simply put these bumper stickers on all the cars in its parking lot: “I’m Proud to Be a Southern Baptist.”
• Lots of people complain that churches don’t have the facilities to compete with worldly entertainments, but country comedian Jerry Clower remembers offering to let his 14-year-old daughter (Sue) and one of her friends go with him on a trip to Hollywood, where they could meet celebrities Lorne Greene, David Janssen, Dinah Shore, and Mel Tillis. She told him, “Daddy, I love you and I’m so glad that you would arrange it to where me and one of my friends could go on this trip, but daddy, there’s something going on at the church activities building I don’t want to miss. I won’t be able to go with you this time.” When Mr. Clower heard his daughter say this, tears came to his eyes and he said, “Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.”
Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved
250 Anecdotes About Religion — Buy