August 15, 2021 – davidbruceblog #2

Jimmerson’s triangle — t r e f o l o g y

I could lie & tell you that Trefology is based on NEWLY-DISCOVERED Atlantean texts, though I doubt you’d believe me. *** But — then, again, maybe you would … *** Because, do you know what? *** They are.
Jimmerson’s triangle — t r e f o l o g y

Jimmerson’s triangle

I could lie &

tell you that Trefology

is based

on NEWLY-DISCOVERED

Atlantean texts,

though I doubt you’d

believe me.

***

But — then, again,

maybe you would …

***

Because,

do you know what?

***

They are.

Summer in Suburbia — Annette Rochelle Aben

Charli Mills gave us the prompt of CACOPHONY this week. Dear me, I had to write about my neighbors. I live in a modest ranch house, with my sleeping/living quarters at the back of the house. I built this addition when thoughtful people lived next door. Alas, a couple with two small children, the woman’s […]
Summer in Suburbia — Annette Rochelle Aben

Charli Mills gave us the prompt of CACOPHONY this week. Dear me, I had to write about my neighbors. I live in a modest ranch house, with my sleeping/living quarters at the back of the house. I built this addition when thoughtful people lived next door. Alas, a couple with two small children, the woman’s mother, and father all moved in only two years later. Now the men are all gone, but there is a sister of the woman with the two children living there and all three of the women have male partners who LOVE to come over to party whether it is a weekday or a weekend day.

Join in the FLASH FICTION FUN at The Carrot Ranch

The thumping bass of the stereo starts around nine in the morning and blares all day long. Cue the beer-drinking corn hole players who curse if they win and curse if they lose. Then there are the children who bounce from the trampoline into the pool while shrieking like bloody murder at the top of their lungs. Add to this, the poor dog who barks from one end of the yard to the other to remind them that he needs to eat. And when it starts at nine in the evening, it goes on until 4 in the morning.

David Bruce: The Funniest People in Sports, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes — Coaches, Comedians, Competitiveness

Coaches

• During Wayne Gretzky’s first season (1979-1980) with the Edmonton Oilers, when the team was still part of the World Hockey Association, he played poor defense, costing his team a goal in a game against the Cincinnati Stingers. Therefore, his coach, Glen Sather, benched him for more than one period. When Mr. Gretzky got back into the game, he scored a hat trick (three points) to lead the Oilers to a 5-2 victory. Mr. Sather was impressed by Mr. Gretzky: “He could have pouted and sulked. But when I put him back in, he scored a hat trick. That, to me, was the turning point of his pro career.”

• Casey Stengel coached third base while managing the Dodgers. During a doubleheader against St. Louis, the Cardinal pitchers Dizzy and Daffy Dean were magnificent. In the first game, Dizzy allowed no Dodger past second base, and in the second game, Daffy pitched a no-run, no-hit game. Following this exhibition of impressive pitching in which no Dodger had reached third base, a fan yelled down to Casey, “Nice work. You never did a better job of coaching third base. I didn’t see you make one mistake all day.”

• At halftime, with his team trailing badly, a 140-pound football coach criticized a 235-pound tackle, who had actually played well, if only the coach would admit it. The coach declared, “You’re just a bum. You can’t take it. If I had your size, I’d be heavyweight champion of the world. Nothing could stop me.” The tackle replied, “What’s keeping you from being lightweight champion?”

• Figure-skating coach Brian Foley knew what to say to motivate his athletes to skate better during competitions. During a World Championship, the brother-and-sister pairs team of Val and Sandra Bezic started to lose momentum. Mr. Foley ran as close as he could to them, then yelled, “Come on, Sandra—Move your *ss.” The bystanders were startled, but Sandra was motivated.

• Don Faurot, football coach at Missouri, punished unsportsmanlike behavior. During a game, one of his players hit an opposing player. Referee Cliff Ogden saw the infraction and came running over to throw the player out of the game. However, the player told him, “You can’t put me out of the game—Faurot’s already beat you to it.”

• Paul Brown ran into some trouble before coaching his first game at Ohio State University—because he did not have a ticket, he was refused admittance to the football stadium. Fortunately, he was able to throw some stones at his players’ window. The noise made by the stones attracted his players’ attention, and they let him in.

Comedians

• Many celebrities early in the 20^th century grew up poor, then took up golf later in life, after they had become successful. As a result, they were poor golfers. One day George Jessel came running to George Burns, screaming, “I did it! I did it! I came in with a 99!” When Mr. Burns asked him how he had accomplished such an amazing feat, Mr. Jessel replied, “I’ll tell you how I did it—every shot perfect!”

• Back in high school, lesbian comedian Kate Clinton had a crush on Ruby Gill, whom she called “a smart-*ss cheerleader.” The school’s boys’ basketball team was pathetic, and during a game in which the team was behind 80-40, Ms. Gill started chanting, “Break that tie! Break that tie!”

• British comedian Danny La Rue performs in drag; however, early in his career, performing in drag was not accepted. While he was imitating Mae West in a nightclub, some patrons started throwing ice cubes at him. Mr. La Rue asked, “Hey! Who do you think I am? Sonja Henie?”

Competitiveness

• The 1925 Rose Bowl featured Notre Dame against Stanford. In one play, Stanford fullback Ernie Nevers came close to scoring a touchdown, but when players were pulled off the pileup, Mr. Nevers was discovered to be inches short. This play was controversial, and fans of both sides argued about it for years. At a gathering of football fans and former players, a Stanford booster claimed that Mr. Nevers had scored on the play: “I used high-powered binoculars, and my seat was exactly on the goal line.” Another person, however, said, “I say he didn’t score. I also saw the play.” “Where were you sitting?” asked the Stanford booster. The other person answered, “On Nevers’ head. I’m Harry Stuhldreher, the Notre Dame quarterback that day.” (By the way, Notre Dame won, 27-10.)

***

The Funniest People in Sports, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes — Buy

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The Funniest People in Sports, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes — Smashwords: Many Formats, Including PFD

Music Recommendation: Candi Scissors — “I Wanna Be Divine”

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “I Wanna Be Divine”

EP: THE CANDI SCISSORS EP

Artist: Candi Scissors

Artist Location: Alabama

Info:

Candi Scissors is:

Candi Scissors
Marky Horror
Weird Larry

“A 6-song dumpster fire dive into a filthy world populated by John Waters groupies, failed time travelers, turned-on robots, prostitute preachers, serial killer correspondents and alchemical quacks.”