David Bruce: The Funniest People in Sports, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes — Crime, Education


• New York Yankee pitcher Lefty Gomez once played with a first baseman who seemed about to be thrown in jail for income tax evasion. When Lefty was asked how he felt playing with someone who might be in jail by the time the next game started, he replied, “Well, it’ll be an awfully long throw for the shortstop.”


• Larry Romanoff worked as an academic counselor for Ohio State University football coach Woody Hayes, who “fired” (and quickly rehired) him several times. One day, Larry was very happy because he was academic counselor to the football players and he had some really good news for Woody—every football player except one had gotten above a 2.0 gpa that grading period. He expected Woody to be really happy, but instead Woody looked over the grade report, saw that one player had not gotten above a 2.0 gpa, threw the grade report on the floor and stomped on it, then kicked in the side of a file cabinet. Finally, he fired Larry. Later that day, Woody held a meeting and told his assistant coaches, “We had a real good quarter, but don’t tell Larry about it because he’ll get a fat head.” (Of course, Larry wasn’t really fired. He kept on working for Woody.)

• While author Gary Paulsen was a kid, he knew a boy named Emil (pronounced EEE-mull) who was tight with a nickel. He used to buy a candy bar for a nickel, eat half of it, then sell the remaining half to another boy for a nickel. Sometimes he used to do this six times in one day. One of the kids who bought a half-eaten candy bar for the price of a whole candy bar was Gary himself, who used the excuse that he was so bored in one particular class that he would have paid a dollar for a half-eaten candy bar just to have something to keep his mind off his history teacher. The teacher was also the football coach, and he constantly compared history to football by saying such things as “Caesar would have made a good quarterback” or “Cleopatra would have made a good quarterback, if she had been a man.”

• Before becoming a professional baseball pitcher, Truett “Rip” Sewell played sports in college. He was invited to look over the University of Alabama campus and sports teams, and he was watching a scrimmage of the football team when a player was hurt. Alabama coach Wallace Wade yelled, “Drag him off the field and send another one in. He probably wasn’t in shape anyway.” Mr. Sewell decided not to play sports at or attend the University of Alabama.

• As a teenager, Jennifer Capriati played professional tennis, making millions through endorsing products and winning tournaments. Nevertheless, she was also a student and had to turn in homework. Often, at important tennis tournaments, she would fax her homework to her school, Palmer Academy in Wesley Chapel, Florida, then go out and compete. (As a teenager, she also studied on the road with a tutor.)

• Tenley Albright was serious about ice skating. Once, a school principal objected when she left class early to attend an ice-skating competition. Ms. Albright’s parents transferred her to another school—and to another principal. Her ice skating did not interfere with her education. After giving up ice skating competitions, Ms. Tenley went to medical school and became a surgeon.

• At Wimbledon, women tennis players customarily curtsy before the royal box. In 1972, Chris Evert played Australian Evonne Goolagong at Wimbledon. Immediately before they were to walk in front of the royal box, Chris had to ask Evonne, “How do you curtsy?” Evonne demonstrated, and Chris was able to follow the custom, thus averting a potential international crisis.

• When future NFL player Pat Tillman was attending Arizona State, his coach, Bruce Snyder, planned to redshirt him, thus keeping him eligible to play college football for an additional year. Mr. Tillman told him, “You can do whatever you want with me, but in four years I’m gone. I’ve got things to do with my life.”


Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved


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Music Recommendation: Messer Chups — “The Hound of the Baskervilles”


Music: “The Hound of the Baskervilles”


Artist: Messer Chups

Artist Location: St. Petersburg, Russia


“Messer Chups is a surf rock band from Saint Petersburg, Russia. The group was formed in 1998 by composer and guitarist Oleg Fomchenkov.” — Wikipedia


Price: $1 (USD) for track; $11 (USD) for 19-track album

Genre: Surf Instrumentals. Horror Surf.




Messer Chups on Bandcamp


Oleggitarkin (Messer Chups Lead Guitarist) on YouTube