GUEST POST // Lockdown, Mate by Harry Wilding — unbolt me

I. —ckfuckfuckfuckfuck Jeremy enters Victoria shopping centre with a bladder primed to burst trying his best to walk normally even though he knows he looks like one of those racewalkers not quite running not quite walking with those strangely snake-like hips fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck he should have just gone at his mum’s but what if he’d made […]

GUEST POST // Lockdown, Mate by Harry Wilding — unbolt me

David Bruce: The Funniest People in Television and Radio: 250 Anecdotes — Live Television, Meetings, Mishaps

Live Television

• Cliff Robertson stayed true to the character of Charlie Gordon, the main character of Daniel Keyes’ story “Flowers for Algernon.” In the story, a mentally retarded man undergoes a medical procedure that makes him a genius for a while before he slips back into mental retardation. Of course, that ending is powerful, and of course, many Hollywood types wished to change that ending to a sappy ending in which Charlie retains his genius. In the television version (before the later movie version), Cliff Robertson was supposed to look at a copy of Paradise Lost, which the character Charlie had lost the ability to read, and then act surprised — as if he could read it and his genius ability was returning. However, when the time came, despite orders to make the ending happy, Mr. Robertson played the scene without the sappiness. And since the television version — on The U.S. Steel Hour — was live, no one could make him re-shoot the scene. (Of course, Mr. Robertson was told that he would never work on TV again, but after rave reviews and an Emmy nomination poured in, he started hearing congratulations, not threats.)

• The very first guest of Edward R. Murrow’s live TV show Person to Person was Dodger catcher Roy Campanella. The show debuted on Saturday, Oct. 2, 1953, the day that the Dodgers were playing in the third game of the World Series. Following a rehearsal that Friday, Mr. Murrow joked, “All you have to do, Roy, is hit a home run tomorrow and then come on in my first show.” That Saturday, in the eighth inning, when the score was a 2-2 tie, Mr. Campanella hit a home run to drive in the winning run. His appearance on Person to Personmade an impressive debut for what turned out to be a long-running TV series.

• On live TV, mistakes did happen. For example, in the “Better Living Through TV” episode of The Honeymooners, Jackie Gleason plays the Chef of the Future while advertising a modern gizmo on TV. At the end of the scene, Jackie accidentally hit a flat that had been painted to represent a wall. The “wall” fell down, Jackie fell down, then Ed Norton (played by Art Carney) fell down, and today you can view the whole scene during the re-runs. Even the accidents were recorded when you were doing live TV. Fortunately, the audience thought the accident was hilarious.


• In 1971, David Davis and Lorenzo Music were asked to present an idea for a new TV series at CBS. When they met with CBS executive Alan Wagner, Mr. Music remembers, “We said that our idea was — that we didn’t have an idea.” Mr. Wagner replied, “I like it — tell me more.” This was a wise answer, for Mr. Davis and Mr. Music created The Bob Newhart Show.

• Carl Reiner, George Shapiro, and Allan Burns once held a meeting in a sauna, where of course they were naked and dripping with sweat. Mr. Reiner came up with a brilliant idea, and filled with enthusiasm, Mr. Shapiro turned to Mr. Burns and said, “Write that down!” Mr. Burns replied, “With what — sweat?”


• In the early days of television, Paul Ritts directed a program about dogs on a local station. He recognized that he had a problem even before the program aired — live — because the man who would host the program frequently used the word “bitch” to refer to female dogs. In fact, the program host was hard of hearing, so he spoke loudly — so loudly that during the course of their meeting Mr. Ritts received a telephone call from a female employee complaining about the language coming from Mr. Ritts’ office. Of course, Mr. Ritts explained to the TV host that broadcast standards would not permit the use of the word “bitch” on the air, and the TV host promised to try to restrain himself. And so he did, although during rehearsal he said “bit … female” twice and “bitch” three times. Fortunately, during the live broadcast he didn’t use the words “bitch” or “bit … female” at all. Unfortunately, during the live broadcast, a large dog bit one of the cameramen, and TV viewers at home saw the cameraman walking across the stage while dragging the dog — which still had its teeth in his leg. The cameraman was also yelling — “SON OF A B*TCH!”


Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved


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Music Recommendation: The Anacondas — “La Danza de los Muertos”


Music: “La Danza de los Muertos”


Artist: The Anacondas

Artist Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Record Company: North Sea Surf Radio

Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands


“North Sea Surf Radio is a commercial free radio station funded by listener donations. The mission of North Sea Surf Radio is to make good quality surf music freely available worldwide 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”

“This compilation features 13 classics from the Halloween Top 66, the list with the spookiest and most horrifying surf instrumentals broadcast by North Sea Surf Radio during Halloween weekend.”

Sidecar Bob, a fan, wrote, “Cool music and it supports North Sea Surf Radio.”

Price: €13 (EURO) for 13-track album by various artists; tracks cannot be purchased separately

Genre: Surf. Horror.



The Anacondas on Bandcamp

North Sea Surf Radio