David Bruce: Baseball Anecdotes

• On 9 July 2003, Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon made a mistake and actually could have — unintentionally — hurt someone. The “Sausage Race” was being held; this is a race that features people wearing costumes depicting Bratwurst, Hot Dog, Italian Sausage, and Kielbasa. As a joke, Mr. Simon bopped “Italian Sausage” on the head with his bat. (The “head” of the sausage was above the head of the person wearing the sausage costume.) “Italian Sausage” fell and tripped “Hot Dog.” As a result, Mr. Simon was suspended and was fined. “Italian Sausage” was actually a woman named Mandy Block. She asked Mr. Simon for the bat he had used to bop her. Mr. Simon autographed the bat and gave it to her along with an apology. By the way, Ms. Block was interviewed many times as the incident became a media sensation. She said, “From my point of view, it’s crazy because I am not used to like being interviewed or anything. I’m like, ‘I’m just a sausage, guys. It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.’” A man named Mark Johnson had an unusual take on the situation: “He’s a professional athlete. He should be a role model. I think they should dress him up as the Hot Dog in the sausage race. Nobody ever likes the Hot Dog.”

• On 28 September 1941, the last day of the season, Boston Red Sox slugger Ted Williams had a mighty task ahead of him. He was batting .3995, which was .400 when rounded up. No one had hit .400 or better in the American League since Detroit Tiger Harry Heilmann had hit .403 in 1923, and no one had hit .400 or better in the National League since New York Giant Bill Terry had hit .401 in 1930. Mr. Williams could have a batting average of .400 for the season just by sitting out the last two games—a doubleheader—of the season. Instead, if he played both games, he would likely come to bat at least eight times, meaning that he would need at least four hits to keep his .400 batting average. Actually, Mr. Williams did not think that he had a .400 batting average. He said, “I figure a man’s a .400 hitter, or he’s not.” To Mr. Williams, a .3995 batting average was not a .400 batting average. He played in both games and made six hits (including four hits in five at-bats in the first game), raising his batting average to .406.

• A small gift can mean a lot—especially when it is given to you by your favorite major-league baseball player. During warm-ups before a July game in Fenway Park, young fan Dylan Sylvia was taking a photograph on his cell phone of his favorite player: Boston Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett. Mr. Beckett noticed him taking the photo and walked over and gave him a souvenir: a baseball. Dylan was very happy, jumping up and down with excitement and showing the baseball to his father. Dylan said, “It was awesome having Josh Beckett come and hand me the ball.” Actually, Dylan was so overwhelmed by the gift that he started crying. His father, Shannon, said, “I was very surprised. I didn’t think he [Dylan] was going to act like that. I thought he would jump around and go crazy. I didn’t think he was going to be so emotional—that it meant so much to him—but it did. It was a good moment.”

• Pittsburgh Pirate Willie Stargell started a number of chicken restaurants in Pittsburgh, including one in the Hill District, an impoverished area. Mr. Stargell’s restaurants were tuned in to his games, and whenever he hit a home run people in his restaurants got free chicken. Pittsburgh Pirate radio broadcaster Bob Prince used to wish for a Stargell home run by saying on the air, “Spread some chicken on the Hill, Will.” By the way, Mr. Stargell started the Stargell Foundation, which works toward finding a cure for sickle-cell anemia. When he received an honorary Doctor of Humanities from St. Francis College for his humanitarian work, he joked, “I guess this means I’m a doctor now. Does anyone want to volunteer for surgery?”

• Baseball pitching great George “Rube” Waddell was definitely an eccentric. Occasionally, he would leave the dugout during a game in order to follow a passing fire truck so he could watch the fire. As a joke, he would sometimes “catch” his own foot instead of the baseball, but he was such a good pitcher that normally he got the next batter out on strikes. By the way, he was a kind man who carried bags of peanuts in the pockets of his baseball uniform so he could throw peanuts to kids watching the game.

• Louis “Sweet Lou” Johnson, a Dodger, claimed to have three ears. In a way he was right. While playing baseball in Mexico, he lost part of an ear when a tire blew out on the team bus. After the ear was found, the trainer made an incision in Sweet Lou’s stomach and stitched the ear there to keep it alive until it could be reattached. However, Sweet Lou never bothered to get the ear reattached and so he claimed to have three ears.

• Actor Peter Falk got cancer of the eye—retina blastoma—when he was three years old, and doctors removed one of his eyes to stop the cancer. The operation was successful, and he lived a long time. While in high school, he played baseball. Once, he was called out at third base. He felt that he had been obviously safe, so he took out his glass eye and gave it to the third-base umpire, saying, “You’ll do better with this one.”

• Baseball great Mickey Mantle once golfed with Don Cherry and kept flubbing shots. When Mr. Mantle hit the ball in a creek, he destroyed his club—a 3 iron. Later, when he hit the ball 200 yards out of bounds, he destroyed his club—another 3 iron. Mr. Cherry asked about the duplicate 3 irons, and Mr. Mantle said, “I got six of them.” Mr. Cherry asked, “How come you got six 3 irons?” Mr. Mantle replied, “Because I hate them.”

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

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David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

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THE TROJAN WAR

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SHAKESPEARE: 38 PLAYS

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CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE’S COMPLETE PLAYS: RETELLINGS

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John Ford’s The Broken Heart: A Retelling, by David Bruce

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William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure:A Retelling in Prose, by David Bruce

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Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist:A Retelling in Prose

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David Bruce: Baseball Anecdotes

In 1948, African-American pitcher Satchel Paige joined the Cleveland Indians and became the oldest rookie in the major leagues at age 42. He had made a name for himself in the Negro Leagues, but until Jackie Robinson broke the color line, no black athletes played in the major leagues. Indians shortstop and manager Lou Boudreau strongly supported integrating the major leagues, but he wondered whether Satchel was too old to play major-league baseball. Therefore, Mr. Boudreau put Mr. Paige through a workout to test his skills. First, Mr. Boudreau caught several of Mr. Paige’s pitches; nearly all were in the strike zone. Next, Mr. Boudreau, who was almost a .400 hitter at the time, tried to hit Mr. Paige’s pitches. Mr. Paige threw 20 pitches, and Mr. Boudreau failed to make solid contact with any of them. Shortly thereafter, the Indians offered Mr. Paige a contract. By the way, Mr. Paige’s career as a major-league pitcher was long-lived. In 1965, when Mr. Paige was 59 years old, Charles O. Finley, owner of the Kansas City Athletics, brought Mr. Paige in to pitch three innings as a way to boost attendance. In three innings, Mr. Paige allowed one hit and no runs, leaving the game with a 1-0 lead; unfortunately, the Athletics lost the game, 5-2, to the Boston Red Sox.

Stu Miller was a major-league pitcher who made it by using his intelligence rather than using a blazing fastball because he didn’t have a blazing fastball. According to sportswriter Jim Murray, who enjoys exaggerating, Mr. Miller had “three speeds of pitches—slow, slower, and reverse.” He also had the ability to make a good batter swing before the ball arrived to where it could be hit. Occasionally, a mighty hitter would take a mighty swing and fall mightily to the ground, fooled by a slow-moving baseball. Mr. Miller was once asked if he ever felt like laughing when that occurred. He replied, “No, I’m too busy thinking what I’m going to throw next time.” Mr. Miller was so good that he once pitched in nine out of 10 games for the Giants, and manager Alvin Dark made him wear civilian clothing and sit in the bleachers for game 11: “Go put your clothes on, and get up in the stands. I want this team to get along without you for one night.”

When African-American Hall-of-Famer Frank Robinson was playing minor-league baseball in Columbia, South Carolina, he ran into a problem with three drunken home fans who hurled insults at him during a game. After a game, Mr. Robinson grabbed a baseball bat and started for the abusive fans, but fortunately the other African-American player on the team, Marv Williams, stopped him before he did major damage and perhaps ended up lynched. Manager Ernie White, a white man, investigated quickly and found out what the home fans had been saying to Mr. Robinson. The taunts made Mr. White furious. He ran after the three home fans, got their license plate number, and wrote the car’s owner, saying that if the abusive home fans ever wished to meet Mr. Robinson and test his courage, he would set up a meeting. The three abusive home fans never set up the meeting and never returned to the ballpark.

Jackie Robinson was fiercely competitive, and he kept up to date about what people were saying about him and the Dodgers in the newspapers. For example, in his final season, he read that New York Giant chief scout Tom Sheehan had said, “The Dodgers are over the hill. Jackie’s too old, Campy’s [Roy Campanella] too old, and [Carl] Erskine, he can’t win with the garbage he’s been throwing up there.” Both Mr. Robinson and Mr. Erskine read that quote, and the truth is, Mr. Erskine was feeling old. However, that day he threw against the Giants a no-hit, no-run game, due in part to a magnificent catch that Mr. Robinson made of a baseball that Willie Mays hit to third base. After the game, Mr. Robinson went to the Giants’ dugout, waved the newspaper clipping in Mr. Sheehan’s face and said, “How do you like that garbage?”

Casey Stengel coached third base while managing the Dodgers. During a doubleheader against St. Louis, the Cardinal pitchers Dizzy and Daffy Dean were magnificent. In the first game, Dizzy allowed no Dodger past second base, And in the second game, Daffy pitched a no-run, no-hit game. Following this exhibition of impressive pitching in which no Dodger had reached third base, a fan yelled down to Casey, “Nice work. You never did a better job of coaching third base. I didn’t see you make one mistake all day.”

When Lou Boudreau was player-manager of the Cleveland Indians, his team faced St. Louis Browns pitcher Jack Kramer. During the game, the Indians were razzing Mr. Kramer, and when Mr. Boudreau batted, he got hit with a pitch square in his ribs. Mr. Boudreau took his base, and Mr. Kramer came over. Mr. Boudreau expected an apology, but instead Mr. Kramer told him, “Look, you’re the boss of the Indians. You keep those guys off my neck, or the next time I’ll knock your head off.”

Truett “Rip” Sewell once pitched against a bunch of new ballplayers the Philadelphia Phillies had brought up from their Eastern Shore League. He didn’t know who they were, but they were a group of talented ballplayers who became known as the Whiz Kids. Anything he pitched at them, they hit. At one point, a manager talked to the catcher to find out “if Rip has anything on the ball.” The catcher replied, “How the hell do I know? I haven’t caught one yet!”

When the great hitter Rogers Hornsby was working as a batting coach, a young player asked him for advice: “What would you do, Mr. Hornsby, if you got in a batting slump?” Mr. Hornsby replied, “When you have a lifetime average of .358, you don’t have any slumps.”

In 1963, Hank Aaron and Willie McCovey both hit 44 home runs, becoming co-champion home run hitters in the National League. Coincidentally that season, both Mr. Aaron and Mr. McCovey wore No. 44 on their uniforms.

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

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