David Bruce: Letters Anecdotes

• In 1975, publishing company Alfred A. Knopf rejected A River Runs Through It and Other Storiesby Norman Maclean, although it had previously said that it would publish the book. University of Chicago Press published the book, which met with considerable critical praise and popular success. Much later, an Alfred A Knopf editor wrote Mr. Maclean to express interest in seeing the manuscript of his next book. However, Mr. Maclean was still sore — very sore — over being rejected by Alfred A Knopf in the past, and he still dreamed of telling off the publishing company, so for his reply letter he wrote a masterpiece of invective that ended with “if the situation ever arose when Alfred A. Knopf was the only publishing house remaining in the world and I was the sole remaining author, that would mark the end of the world of books.” Mr. Maclean called his letter “one of the best things I ever wrote […] I really told those bastards off. What a pleasure! What a pleasure! Right into my hands! Probably the only dream I ever had in life that came completely true.”

• How nice it is that people sometimes write letters of appreciation. After Audrey Hepburn first heard the score for Breakfast at Tiffany’s, in which she starred, she wrote Henry Mancini, who would later win an Oscar for his soundtrack, a very nice letter of appreciation: “Dear Henry, I have just seen our picture — BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S — this time with your score. A movie without music is a little bit like an aeroplane without fuel. However beautifully the job is done, we are still on the ground and in a world of reality. Your music has lifted us all up and sent us soaring. Everything we cannot say with words or show with action you have expressed for us. You have done this with so much imagination, fun and beauty. You are the hippest of cats — and the most sensitive of composers! Thank you, dear Hank. Lots of love Audrey”

• Some celebrities write compassionate letters to fans. For example, Paul Banks, lead singer of Interpol, wrote the following letter in 2010 to a downcast young woman following a concert in Boston: “Dear Hailey, No matter how sad you may get, it’s always passing. You may wake up blue, and by the afternoon, everything will be rosey. Sadness is a strange companion. And a nuisance. So try not to pay it too much mind. And be present in your happy moments — and weigh them against the sad. It’s all worth it. And you will arrive somewhere wonderful with peace in your heart. All my love and hope to you, young lady. PB”

• A person who posts online as Revstephmc tells about not living close to her only niece, Brooke, but sending her a letter each week, beginning when Brooke was two. The letters are known as “Thursday letters” because that is the day she writes them. When Brooke was two years old, she talked with Revstephmc’s mother: “Auntie Steph writes me a letter every week.” Revstephmc’s mother asked, “That’s a lot of letters. What does she write about?” Brooke replied, “She tells me that she loves me! Sometimes she says it long and sometimes she says it short!” Revstephmc says, “She was absolutely right!”

• Some cartoon characters such as Bugs Bunny have such strong personalities that they take on a life of their own and sometimes people forget they are fictional. For example, children sometimes object to anyone saying that illustrators draw Bugs Bunny. The children say that the illustrators draw pictures ofBugs Bunny — an important distinction. Bill Scott, who later became the voice of Bullwinkle of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame, once wrote his grandmother a letter in which he said that he wrote scripts for Bugs Bunny. His grandmother wrote back, “I don’t see why you have to write scripts for Bugs Bunny. He’s funny enough just the way he is.”

• Science fiction author Ray Bradbury has written and mailed many letters in his long life. After seeing the classic movie version of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carolthat starred Alistair Sim as Ebenezer Scrooge, Mr. Bradbury wrote the actor a fan letter: “Dear Mr. Sim, thank you for your Scrooge. You are the greatest. God bless you.” For a long time, Mr. Bradbury did not hear from Mr. Sim, but eventually this letter arrived: “Dear Mr. Bradbury, Your letter reached me in hospital and made me well.” Mr. Bradbury says, “Isn’t that beautiful!”

• In 1936, novelist William Saroyan wrote H.L. Mencken, editor of The American Mercury, a polite letter asking for advice about starting a magazine. Mr. Mencken wrote back with this reply: “Dear Saroyan, I note what you say about your aspiration to edit a magazine. I am sending you by this mail a six-chambered revolver. Load it and fire every one into your head. You will thank me after you get to hell and learn from other editors there how dreadful their job was on earth.”

• Jane Austen, author of Pride and Prejudice, could be outspoken in her letters. She wrote a letter about “another stupid party last night,” and in a letter she wrote, “I was as civil to them as their bad breath would allow.” By the way, one of her nieces picked up a copy of Sense and Sensibilitywithout knowing that Ms. Austen had written it. The niece immediately threw it down again. Why? She said that just by reading the title she knew that it was trash.

• M.E. Kerr, author of books for young adults, received many rejection letters when she was trying to be published. In fact, she once attended a sorority costume party dressed as a rejection slip. She wore a black slip on which she had attached many of the rejection letters she had received.

• Before Emmylou Harris became a famous country singer, she wrote Pete Seeger and said that she wanted to be a folk singer but she was afraid that she had not suffered enough. Ms. Harris said, “It’s true. He wrote back to say life would come back and hit me hard soon enough.”

• “Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them.” — James Fallows.

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David Bruce: Letters Anecdotes

When Stan Lee, creator of Spider-man and the Fantastic Four, was a kid, he wrote his hero, Floyd Gibbons, who went on adventures and wrote a column for the Chicago Tribune. Mr. Gibbons wrote him back, something that truly impressed the young Stan Lee. Working at Marvel, he encouraged fan mail and he often wrote fans back, either in person or on the pages of the comic books he wrote. Mr. Lee says, “I wanted the fans to feel that they were part of the Marvel family. If I received a letter that started ‘Dear Editor’ and was signed, I don’t know, ‘Charles Smith,’ I would write back, ‘Hiya Charlie!’ I wanted it to sound friendly and I signed all my replies ‘Stan,’ not ‘the Editor.’ I think it worked because when I met fans at conventions, they came up to me as though we were old friends. ‘Hi, Stan, how are ya? I’ve always wanted to meet you.’” Actually, it was Mr. Lee’s creations that got Marvel Comics fan mail. He says, “Before the Fantastic Four, we hardly ever got fan mail. Occasionally I might get a letter from somebody that said, ‘I bought one of your comic books and one of the staples is missing. I’d like my ten cents back.’ I would tack that letter up on the bulletin board and say, ‘We’ve got a fan letter.’ But after the Fantastic Four came out, we started to get genuine fan mail. At the start, a lot of the letters were written in pencil. After a few months, they were written in ink. A few months after that, we were getting typewritten letters and the return addresses were high schools and colleges.”

Richard Barthelemy, the voice coach and accompanist of Enrico Caruso, was French, and the French have a reputation for having a certain regard for a good turn of praise. A high-society woman once sent opera singer Enrico Caruso a very nice gift, which pleased him. Mr. Caruso sent back a souvenir, and he asked Mr. Barthelemy to compose a nice letter to accompany the gift. Mr. Barthelemy did compose the letter, and soon afterward the high-society woman invited him to lunch and said to him, “I have a favor to ask you, for which I desire secrecy. I am going to have you read an extremely charming letter from Monsieur Caruso in which he begs me to accept the lovely souvenir here. I want to thank him, and I’ve thought of you for that. Would you do me the pleasure of composing an answer to his letter which would have a true French turn to it? I’ll recopy it and send it to Monsieur Caruso.” Mr. Barthelemy did compose the letter.

In 1980, Joan Jett received 23 rejection letters after sending out tapes that included “I Love Rock ’n’ Rock,” “Do You Want to Touch Me,” and “Crimson and Clover”—three huge hits. The letters said, “No good songs here. You need a song search.” Fortunately, Ms. Jett printed 5,000 copies of the record, sold them, printed 5,000 more copies and sold them, and eventually landed a recording deal. She wonders, “Do they just throw these tapes into a bin of music, ’cause they don’t have time to listen? And if they do listen, it’s kind of scary that someone could hear three top-ten hits and miss them.”

While she was in high school, Tamora Pierce wrote a story about a kids’ birthday party. She wrote the story out neatly on pencil on 3-ring binder paper and submitted it to Seventeen magazine. The magazine’s editor, Babette Rosmund, wrote Tamora a nice letter telling her about how to submit manuscripts (typed, and in a professional format). She also encouraged Tamora to keep on writing. Tamora appreciated such a busy woman taking the time to write her a helpful letter. Later, Tamora became a very successful writer of young adult fantasy literature.

Jerry Spinelli, the author of Crash and Wringer, got many, many rejection letters when he was a young author, but he did not give up. Every time he finished a novel that no publisher would publish, he wrote another novel. Mr. Spinelli once noted that during his first 15 years of writing, he made only $200 from his writing. He also recommended that publishers send rejection bricks instead of rejection letters, noting, “Decades of work should not be able to fit into an envelope. You should be able to build a house with them.”

Young people’s author Richard Peck has received many letters from the readers of his books. Some are funny, as when someone wrote, “Our teacher told us to write to our favorite author. Could you please get me the address of Danielle Steele?” Other letters are serious; for example, someone wrote to him about Remembering the Good Times, a novel that recounted a suicide and educated the readers about the warning signs of suicides. The person wrote, “The only trouble with your book is that I didn’t find it in time.”

Karyn McLaughlin Frist edited a book titled “Love you, Daddy Boy”: Daughters Honor the Fathers They Love. Just as the title suggests, the book is a collection of reminiscences of loving fathers by loving daughters. The title comes from the way Ms. Frist’s father signed his letters that each Monday he wrote to her when she was in college: “Love you, Daddy boy.” Her friends used to ask her, “So what did Daddy-boy have to say today?”

Playwright and actor Peter Ustinov had many occupations, including at one time being Rector of Dundee University. Unfortunately, he once received a letter addressed to “The Lord Rectum of Dundee University.” Such an error gives one pause, and Sir Peter later said, “And that is how I have seen myself ever since in moments of self-doubt.”

Early in her career, Audrey Hepburn attended a Screen Actors Guild at which Marlon Brando was present. She was in awe of him and said hello, but after that they did not speak to each other. Forty years later, Mr. Brando wrote a letter in which he explained why he had not spoken to her. He had been unable to speak because he held her in such awe.

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David Bruce: Letters Anecdotes

During the Revolutionary War, John Adams went to Paris to represent the new United States to the French government. Separated from his wife, Abigail, he wrote her many, many letters. However, the tone of the letters was formal and cold, unlike the warm, affectionate letters he had sent her while they were separated in the United States. Why the formal, cold tone? Mr. Adams was afraid that enemy warships would intercept American or French ships carrying his letters, and that the enemy would ridicule the letters. Despite this reason for the formal, cold tone of the letters, Mr. Adams had made a big mistake, and his wife let him know it in no uncertain terms. She wrote him, “By heaven, … you have changed hearts with some frozen Laplander, or made a voyage to a region that has chilled every drop of your blood. The affection I feel for my friend [a term Abigail called her husband] is of the tenderest kind. Angels can witness to its purity — what care I then for the ridicule of Britain should this testimony of it fall into its hands?” Mr. Adams’ letters to his wife quickly regained their usual warm, affectionate tone.

During World War I, Russian soldiers took Waldo Bahmann and two other German soldiers prisoner on September 2, 1916. The Russians treated the Germans well, and a Russian officer asked each German soldier for the address of his relatives, saying that he would send the addresses to his parents, who lived in Petrograd, and they would send the addresses to the Red Cross, who would let their families know that they were alive. The Russian officer said, “Then your dear ones will not have such prolonged fear and anxiety, for nothing is more terrible than the report ‘missing.’” In 1918, after Mr. Bahmann had returned home after being released from captivity, he looked through some of his mother’s documents, and he found a postcard from Russia that announced that he had been captured, but was in good health in Russia. Mr. Bahmann’s mother had received the postcard before the Red Cross had gotten around to him, so the source of the information had to come from the Russian officer’s parents.

In 1942, the Toronto Maple Leafs were down 3-0 in the best-of-seven Stanley Cup playoffs, and no one thought the Maple Leafs had a chance to win because no team had ever come back from a 3-0 deficit to win. Well, one fan did. A 14-year-old girl wrote the coach to say that she was confident that the team could rally to win the series and that she would be praying for the Maple Leafs. Maple Leaf coach Hap Day read the fan’s letter to his team, and the players dedicated themselves to winning. They rallied to win four games in a row and to win the Stanley Cup — the first team ever to do so.

Composer Franz Joseph Haydn married a woman who was difficult to get along with, and he was happy when his work took him away from her for long periods of time. During one occasion when Mr. Haydn was long away from his wife, a visitor asked him about several unopened letters piled up on his desk. Mr. Haydn replied, “They’re from my wife. We write to each other every month, but I don’t bother to open her letters, and I’m sure she doesn’t open mine.”

Stan Lee offered a genuine NO-PRIZE to Marvel comicbook readers who were sharp enough to spot a typographical or other embarrassing error. To each of these intelligent readers, Mr. Lee sent an empty envelope bearing the words “CONGRATULATIONS! This envelope contains a genuine Marvel Comics NO-PRIZE, which you have just won!” These envelopes are now collectors’ items.

Children’s book author Peg Kehret occasionally gets letters from children, and she likes the ones that come from her fans. The letters that are signed “Your #1 fan” or that include a list of books by Ms. Kehret that the child has read she tries to promptly answer. Unfortunately, occasionally a letter will come from a child who wants her to write back, but the child did not include a return address.

The Soviet secret police once interrogated a Russian Jew about a man he had been writing in Israel. The Jew explained that the man he was writing was his brother and not a spy. The secret police told the Jew that it was illegal to correspond with anyone who lived abroad. The Jew thought for a moment and replied, “My brother is at home — I am abroad.”

After James McNeill Whistler’s painting of his mother (Arrangement in Grey and Black: Portrait of the Painter’s Mother) became famous, he was asked to visit America. He declined the invitation, writing, “One hates to disappoint a continent.”

Bette Midler has large breasts. She once told a concert audience that she had weighed them on a postal scale, adding, “I won’t tell you how much they weigh, but it would cost $87.50 to ship them to Brazil. Third class.”

Richard Wagner once wrote a fan letter to Ludwig van Beethoven. Unfortunately, by that time Beethoven was deaf and didn’t hear the postman’s knocking, so the letter was thrown away.

While in prison, Fidel Castro made a mistake by writing his wife and his mistress on the same day. The prison censor read both letters, then he put the letters back in the wrong envelopes.

Ohio Senator Stephen M. Young once received a letter that was short and to the point: “Do something.” Senator Young’s reply was also short and to the point: “I did. I read your letter.”

King Frederick the Great was on his deathbed, so he said to the Queen, “Dorothy, write to your brother that I forgive him all the evil he has done me; but wait until I am dead first.”

A man once asked Speaker of the House Tom Reed what he should do about anonymous letters. Congressmen Reed replied, “I never answer them.”

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David Bruce: Letters Stories

Jerry Clower

Country comedian Jerry Clower gets a lot of fan mail. Looking through a stack of mail one time, he came across a letter that had his own return address on it. He opened it, saw that it was from his daughter Sue, and read, “Dear Mother and Daddy, thank you for being such fine Christian parents. You show me how I ought to act. Love, Sue.”

On July 18, 1989, Rebecca Schaeffer, an actress on the television sitcom My Sister Sam, was murdered by a stalker. The prosecutor of the case was Marcia Clark, who kept in close contact with Ms. Schaeffer’s family. Just before the case went to trial, she wrote a long letter to Ms. Schaeffer’s mother, Danna, who said later, “It was a letter on a yellow legal pad, just about how personally connected she felt to Rebecca. That’s how she approached the case. She made us feel that she was working on our personal behalf.” The stalker was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole.

Comedian Lisa Geduldig is both Jewish and a lesbian. For her, family interaction is important. Sometimes, while doing her act she reads a letter from her parents. In it, they express sympathy about a recent breakup of her romantic relationship — and they try to set her up with a nice Jewish woman. However, to be honest, her parents didn’t write the letter. Ms. Geduldig grew tired of receiving emotionless letters from her parents, so whenever she writes them, she also writes the reply she would like to receive from them. She sends them the emotion-filled reply along with her letter and asks them to sign it and mail it back to her.

Even as a young woman, American poet Emily Dickinson suffered from a lack of privacy in her own home. For example, her father made her read any letters she received out loud. After receiving a letter from her brother, she wrote him back about reading his letter out loud to the family. First, she had gone through the letter and self-censored it, marking through the places she didn’t want to read out loud, then with her heart beating wildly, she read the letter to her family, pretending that she had not self-censored it, and her heart didn’t stop beating wildly until she had finished reading the letter.

In 1961, nine years after E.B. White had published Charlotte’s Web, a young reader wrote him to ask why he hadn’t written another children’s book since then. Mr. White was feeling testy that day, and he complained that he would have more time to write children’s books if only children would stop writing him letters. However, this doesn’t mean that Mr. White disliked children. Sometimes, they sent him awards and certificates, and Mr. White treasured these.

Playing at the Master’s Tournament is the dream of all golf players. After playing at the 1995 Master’s — his first — Tiger Woods sent this note to the Master’s officials: “Please accept my sincere thanks for providing me the opportunity to experience the most wonderful week of my life. It was fantasy land and Disney World wrapped into one. … it was here that I left my youth behind and became a man.”

For a while, writer Agatha Christie was very unhappy with the book jackets of her mysteries — some even gave away the solution! She forcibly let her publisher know that she did not want the book jackets to give away the solution to the mystery, or even to reveal the plot or depict any of her characters. After receiving a few strongly worded letters, her publisher did as she wished.

At one time, men’s gymnastics was not highly regarded in the United States. In 1964, the best men’s gymnast in the U.S., Rusty Mitchell, wrote a letter to The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, asking to be a guest on the show and offering to perform a double back flip on stage. In reply, he received a rejection letter from an associate producer.

Professional golfer Jimmy Demaret used to receive letters from people asking him to help them with their golf games. One letter said, “Jimmy, I’m busting my driver down the middle on every hole and I’m hitting my three wood 245 yards with about an eight-yard fade. What should I do?” Mr. Demaret wrote back, “Turn pro!”

After Julie Foudy won an Olympic gold medal as a member of the United States women’s national soccer team, she became a celebrity. One young girl wrote her, “I hope this is Julie Foudy the soccer player. You are my hero. Finally, I have a role model. If it wasn’t for you I’d probably have to play golf. I hate golf.”

John Waters is the filmmaker who made the infamous Pink Flamingoes, as well as several other films that celebrate trash. Once, he received a letter from a teenager who wrote him, “I’m in high school and I make films like you do. How come I get sent to the school psychiatrist and you get sent to Europe?”

Some celebrities are good sports. Gay author Michael Thomas Ford wrote a book titled Alec Baldwin Doesn’t Love Me: And Other Trials from My Queer Life. Far from being outraged, heterosexual actor Alec Baldwin sent Mr. Ford a very nice letter saying that he had enjoyed reading the book.

During World War II, Spike Milligan had a torrid affair with a W.A.A.F. Corporal named Bette. After he was shipped to fight overseas, she wrote him red-hot letters. To raise money, Mr. Mulligan used to auction them off to the lechers in his outfit.

James McNeill Whistler used drawings of a butterfly to adorn his letters. Whenever he wrote a biting comment in a letter, he would also put in a drawing of a butterfly — but he would give the tail end of the butterfly a stinger.

Carol Burnett seems so down to earth that it is difficult to think of her as the big Hollywood star she is. She sometimes receives letters that say such things as, “Dear Carol, I know this sounds crazy, but I really admire you.”

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