David Bruce: Public Speaking Anecdotes

• Humor writer H. Allen Smith once appeared on a radio interview program. His hostess did a lot of the talking, which he didn’t listen to, because he was searching his mind for interesting anecdotes to tell when the hostess allowed him to speak. During much of the interview, Mr. Smith was merely saying “Yes” or “Uh-huh” as the hostess spoke. After the interview was completed, the hostess began laughing and played back part of the tape for him. She had stated, “I’m sure that many of our listeners will agree that Mr. Smith is the foremost humorist in America today, that no one else has given us so much sheer joy as he has.” At this point, without thinking and without hearing what his hostess had been saying, Mr. Smith had said, “That’s right.”

• As a boy, future impresario James W. Morrissey sold tickets at a theater where Charles Dickens was to speak. One afternoon, a gentleman stopped by and asked him how tickets were selling. Mr. Morrissey replied that they were selling very well, and added a few words of high praise for Mr. Dickens. The gentleman replied that he guessed the praise was given in order to sell tickets, and ventured that Mr. Morrissey had never actually seen Mr. Dickens. In fact, Mr. Morrissey was unable to afford to buy a ticket, so the gentleman, saying that he was sick of hearing Dickens, gave him a few tickets. Later, at the lecture, Mr. Morrissey received a surprise — the gentleman who had given him the tickets was Charles Dickens himself.

• Charles Emory Smith was the Postmaster General under Presidents William McKinley and Theodore Roosevelt, and he was a newspaper publisher. He once was asked to give an after-dinner speech, but after drinking liberally at the affair he was so drunk that he was unable to stand up. The next day his own newspaper reported on the dinner and on the many speeches that had been made at it. The newspaper mentioned that Mr. Smith had been asked to make a speech, and that his remarks would be printed on the following page — which was blank except for a tiny line at the bottom: “What else could he say?”

• While on a lecture tour, Mark Twain got a shave in a local barber shop. The barber knew that he was shaving a stranger, but he didn’t recognize Mr. Twain, so he said, “You’ve come into town at the right time. Mark Twain is lecturing tonight.” When Mr. Twain said that he was planning to attend the lecture, the barber asked if he had bought his ticket yet. Hearing that he had not, the barber said that he would have to stand, as most of the tickets were already sold. Mr. Twain sighed and then said, “That’s my luck. Whenever that fellow gives a lecture, I always have to stand.”

• Mark Twain once told a story that illustrated why speakers should be brief: Mr. Twain said he attended a church when a missionary began to speak. At first Mr. Twain was fired up with enthusiasm for the missionary’s work and wanted to donate the $400 he had and borrow all he could to give to the missionary. However, the missionary kept talking, and the longer the missionary talked, the less enthusiastic Mr. Twain became — when the offering plate was finally passed around, Mr. Twain stole ten cents from it.

• When Mark Twain was scheduled to speak at a small town, he would often enter a store and ask if people knew about his lecture being scheduled that night. Once he entered a grocery store and asked if there were anything special going on that evening. The grocer replied, “I think there’s a lecture tonight — I’ve been selling eggs all day.”

• Harold Ross, editor of The New Yorker, disliked speaking in public. Once he was given a surprise award and had to make an impromptu speech. He rose to his feet, faced the audience, feebly uttered, “Je-sus,” then sat down. Frank Sullivan, who was seated next to him, said, “Your speech was too long, Ross. I got bored after the first syllable.”

• Comic singer Anna Russell claimed to get many of her routines out of the Encyclopedia Britannica. One example is the comic lecture she does on bagpipes. She opened the “Encyclopedia Britannica” to “bagpipes” and found the complete lecture there — it needed only to be reworded.

• Joseph Chamberlain was the after-dinner speaker at a party where everyone was enjoying themselves very much. When the time for his speech approached, he was asked, “Shall we let these people enjoy themselves a little longer, or will you give your speech now?”

• Hillaire Belloc could be very imposing. He once arrived late at a lecture he was giving, but told everyone present, “I am half an hour late. It is entirely my fault. I do not apologize.”

• Abba Eban, the Israeli diplomat, was once introduced in this way: “I’m honored to introduce Mr. Abba Eban, who is well known throughout the civilized world as well as here in the Bronx.”

• Comedienne Eddie Cantor was invited to speak at many dinners. Once, 14 speakers spoke before him, and when it was his turn to talk, he said, “My dear friends, when I came here, I was a young man.”

• After Calvin Coolidge had made a speech, a woman came up to him and said, “I enjoyed your speech so much that I stood up the entire time.” Coolidge replied, “So did I.”

• Sir Winston Churchill knew that he was a great orator. When he wrote his speeches, he wrote notes where he anticipated the crowd’s responses; for example, “Cheers,” “Ovation,” and “Prolonged cheering.”

• A politician made a speech in front of a hostile crowd. Someone in the crowd threw a tomato at the politician, who deftly caught it and told the crowd, “I take these things with a grain of salt.”

***

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William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure:  A Retelling in Prose, by David Bruce

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Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist: A Retelling, by David Bruce

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David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

David Bruce: Public Speaking

• Sam Levenson was a stand-up comedian who appeared several times on The Ed Sullivan Show, but a joke at a dinner that Mr. Sullivan chaired nearly ruined his TV career. After Mr. Sullivan’s introduction of him at the diner, Mr. Levenson said, “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, Mr. Sullivan. There is an old legend that says that just before a child is born the angels kiss him and, says the legend, that on whatever part of him the angels kiss him will determine his particular talent on earth. If they kiss him on the head he will be an intellect; on the mouth an orator; on the hands an artisan, maybe a pianist. No one can prove exactly where Mr. Sullivan got kissed, but he sure makes a helluva chairman.” The audience liked the joke, but Mr. Sullivan did not. It was a year before Mr. Levenson appeared on his show again.

• On October 19, 1932, Franklin D. Roosevelt had made a speech in Pittsburgh in which he promised to reduce government spending, but of course as President he greatly increased government spending. In his 1936 election campaign President Roosevelt was plagued by the use his political opponents were making of the speech, so he gave a copy of the speech to a ghostwriter, Judge Rosenman, and asked him to write a new speech “explaining” the old speech. However, after examining the old speech, Judge Rosenman told President Roosevelt, “Mr. President, the only thing you can say about that 1932 speech is to deny categorically that you ever made it.”

• Rev. M. Woolsey Stryker and two speakers were to dedicate a new church in Utica, New York. Because there were so many speakers, Rev. Stryker proposed that each limit himself to 20 minutes. The first speaker spoke for 30 minutes, but the second speaker spoke for 90 minutes. When it was his turn to speak, Rev. Stryker stood up, glared at the second speaker, then told the audience, “This congregation looks very much dedicated. So I will say nothing to you Uticans beyond suggesting that you all go home now and read that chapter in the New Testament which tells how Paul preached all night and Eutychus fell out of the window.”

• Winston Churchill found innovative ways of distracting other people’s attention from speeches he disagreed with. Once, while Hugh Todd Naylor Gaitskell was giving a speech on economic affairs, Mr. Churchill suddenly sat straight up, looked around him, went through all his pockets, then started searching the floor, all the time pretending not to notice that everyone’s attention was on him, not on Mr. Gaitskell. Finally, Mr. Churchill explained, “I was only looking for my jujube.” (A jujube is a piece of candy.)

• When he was Vice President, Walter F. Mondale used to tell a story about a woman being interviewed on the radio. She lived near Three Mile Island, and after being evacuated because of the disaster, she couldn’t wait to go back home. The interviewer asked her if she wasn’t afraid to go back. She replied, “No, not at all. The President was here the other day — if there was any danger, they would have sent the Vice President.” At this point, Vice President Mondale would tell the audience, “Well, here I am.”

• In 1976, Bob Dole was nominated to run for Vice President with Jerry Ford. Very quickly, he found himself making an acceptance speech on national TV. He thought his speech was pretty good, especially considering the limited amount of time he had to write it, but when he asked his mother how he had done, she replied, “You usually do better.”

• Irving Howe wrote an important book titled World of Our Fathersabout Eastern European Jews immigrating into the United States. At a question-and-answer session following one of his lectures, a woman in the audience criticized him for not titling the book World of Our Fathers and Mothers. He replied, “World of Our Fathersis a title; World of Our Fathers and Mothersis a speech.”

• Dr. Stephen S. Wise was once introduced in an African-American church by a minister who said, “I have the honor to introduce you to a man who is conceited to be America’s greatest orator.” When Dr. Wise related this story to his family later, they commented, “How well this minister knows you.”

• F.E. Smith, who later became Lord Birkenhead, was annoyed by a man who introduced him before his speech. The man talked on and on, and Mr. Smith grew angrier and angrier. When the man finally called on him for his address, Mr. Smith said, “It’s Grosvenor Square, and I’m going there right now.”

• In 1986, Russell Johnson, who had played the Professor on the TV series Gilligan’s Island, was invited to speak at Park College in Missouri. He got a kick out of the posters for his lecture: Underneath a picture of his face were the words, “See a realProfessor speak.”

• James Stuart (1885-1931) once read a long, boring speech in the House of Commons while he was Secretary of State for Scotland. A Member of Parliament shouted at him, “Speak up,” and he looked up and said, “Oh, I didn’t know anyone was listening.”

• Franklin P. Adams once attended a dinner after being promised that he would not have to speak. However, the toastmaster asked him if, after all, he would like to say a few words. Mr. Adams stood up, said “No,” and then sat down.

• When Lord Robert Cecil was elected to Parliament, he paused to deliver a yawn while giving his maiden speech. Benjamin Disraeli approved, saying, “He’ll do.”

• Hubert Humphrey was known for making very long speeches. Once he was asked to speak for only 12 minutes, and he said, “The last time I spoke for only 12 minutes was when I said hello to my mother.”

• In Parliament, A.P. Herbert made a very controversial first speech. Afterward, Winston Churchill congratulated him: “That wasn’t a maiden speech; it was a brazen hussy of a speech.”

***

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John Ford’s The Broken Heart: A Retelling, by David Bruce

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William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure:  A Retelling in Prose, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/530136

Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist: A Retelling, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/731768

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David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

David Bruce: Public Speaking Anecdotes

• On Shavuos, R’ Chaim of Sanz assembled several wealthy Jews to hear the kiddush. Before reciting the kiddush, however, it was his custom to lecture on the Torah. This time, he said, “When I was younger, I would give a long and complicated Torah discourse. Now that I am old, I will be brief. I need 1,000 thalers for charity, and this particular cause cannot tolerate any delay. I will not recite the kiddush until you have arranged to donate that amount, each according to his ability, and I want the amount you pledge now, to be brought in tonight.” He then left the room to allow the wealthy Jews to discuss and make their pledges. After the 1,000 thalers had been pledged, he returned and recited the kiddush. Afterward, he said, “That Shavuos, I gave an excellent speech.”

• Famed theater director Tyrone Guthrie liked to tell this story on himself. He had given an ex tempore speech in Vancouver about theater, but because he had just gotten off a plane and was tired, he had not spoken very well. After the speech, a famous Vancouver eccentric, Mrs. Clegg, approached him and said, “I’ve been sitting here listening to you for the last 45 minutes, and you haven’t said anything. I paid $1.50, and I want my $1.50 back.” Mr. Guthrie gave her $1.50.

• R’ Meir of Lublin once spoke to raise money for his yeshivah, Yeshivas Chachmei Lublin. Afterwards, he saw a small child who had been in the audience and asked if he had understood the speech. The child replied, “No, I didn’t. I only understood one thing: that one must give money.” R’ Meir smiling and said, “If you caught that, you understood my speech better than many of your elders.”

• During World War I, Lord Charles Beresford was one of Winston Churchill’s most vocal critics. Mr. Churchill once said of Lord Beresford, “He can best be described as one of those orators who, before they get up, do not know what they are going to say; when they are speaking, do not know what they are saying; and, when they have sat down, do not know what they have said.”

• Benjamin Disraeli often was forced to deal with hecklers. One person shouted, in an attempt to disrupt his speech, “Speak up! I can’t hear you.” Mr. Disraeli responded, “Truth travels slowly, but it will reach even you in time.” On another occasion, someone shouted that Disraeli’s rich wife had picked him out of the gutter. Mr. Disraeli responded, “My good fellow, if you were in the gutter, no one would pick you out.”

• After John F. Kennedy had been inaugurated in 1961, the man he defeated, Richard Nixon, told Presidential aide Ted Sorensen that he wished he had said some of the things that Mr. Kennedy said in his inaugural speech. “What part?” Mr. Sorensen asked, “That part about ‘Ask not what your country can do for you’?” “No,” Mr. Nixon replied. “The part that starts, ‘I do solemnly swear ….’”

• Winston Churchill made many speeches. Before addressing an audience in the United States, a woman asked him how it felt to have his speeches so well attended. Sir Winston replied, “It’s quite flattering, but whenever I feel this way I always remember that if instead of making a political speech I was being hanged, the crowd would be twice as big.”

• Harry Marten (1602-1680) was known for frequently taking naps during debates in Parliament. When a Member of Parliament proposed that people who nodded off during debates should be gotten rid of, Mr. Marten made a counterproposal: “Mr. Speaker, a motion has been made to turn out the nodders; I desire that the noddees may also be turned out.”

• The Maggid of Slutzk, R’ Zvi Dainov was known for giving the same speech over and over again, though in different locations. When he was asked why he did this, he replied, “The doctor does the same thing. He writes a prescription for one patient, and writes the exact same prescription for another suffering from the same disease.”

• Lady Nancy Astor was one of the few women Members of Parliament. As such, she quickly learned how to defend herself against hecklers. During one of her speeches, a heckler shouted, “Say, Missus, how many toes are there on a pig’s foot?” Lady Astor replied, “Take off your boots, man, and count for yourself.”

• Lord Tinwald (1680-1763) once spoke to a man named Mr. Lamb, who confessed that although he was a lawyer and often spoke before the court, the act of public speaking still made him nervous. Lord Tinwald replied, “It’s nothing unusual that a lamb should grow sheepish.”

• G.K. Chesterton was a huge man. Once, while lecturing in America, he heard a gasp at his enormous size as he rose to walk to the podium. Standing behind the amplifier, he told his audience, “At the outset I want to reassure you I am not this size, really — dear no, I’m being amplified.”

• Republican Representative Craig Hosmer of California once made a rousing political speech during a campaign for re-election. Afterwards, a voter told him, “I like what you say, and I’ll vote for you. Anything would be better than that Congressman we’ve got now.”

• In the good old days, Senator George Vest was making a speech when the gaslights went out. Senator Vest announced, “I shall continue my speech. However, when the last person gets ready to leave the hall, let me know and I’ll stop.”

• Actress Sybil Thorndike was once introduced by a clergyman in this way: “There is no need for me to introduce Dame Sybil to you — she is well known to you all as a member of the oldest profession in the world.”

• In a sermon, Rabbi Michal said, “My words shall be heeded. I do not say: ‘You shall heed my words.’ I say: ‘My words shall be heeded.’ I address myself, too! I too must heed my words.”

• G.K. Chesterton once belonged to a debating society with the name of I.D.F. The initials stand for “I Don’t Know.”

***

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SOMETIMES FREE EBOOKS

John Ford’s The Broken Heart: A Retelling, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/792090

William Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure:  A Retelling in Prose, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/530136

Ben Jonson’s The Alchemist: A Retelling, by David Bruce

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/731768

***

David Bruce’s Smashwords Bookstore: Retellings of Classic Literature, Anecdote Collections, Discussion Guides for Teachers of Literature, Collections of Good Deed Accounts, etc. Some eBooks are free.

David Bruce: Public Speaking Anecdotes

• Introductions are important, whether in books or in public speaking. Author Peg Kehret once spoke in a juvenile detention center library before an audience of 12 teenage juvenile delinquents, all of whom were wearing orange jumpsuits. Clearly, they were not interested in her or in what she had to say, so she needed to think of something that would grab their attention immediately. She opened her talk with this sentence: “I once got a brand-new car for writing only 25 words.” This grabbed their attention, and she was not lying. She then told them about entering a contest—“In 25 words or less, please complete the statement, ‘I like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner because ….’”—and winning a Honda Civic. The boys became interested in other things she had to say, and three boys even borrowed her books from the library after her talk. Later, the librarian told her, “Our last speaker left in the middle because the boys were so rude.” Ms. Kehret says that she is glad that she did not know that before she started speaking.

• Ernest Rutherford, the 1908 Noble-Prize winner for Chemistry, was kind in many ways. He once gave a public lecture that was attended by Lord Kelvin, a great scientist who had estimated the age of the Earth as between 20 and 40 million years by measuring the rate at which the Earth gave off heat. However, in his lecture Mr. Rutherford asserted that Lord Kelvin’s estimate was way too low and that the Earth in fact was several hundreds of millions of years old. (Current estimates based on radioactive dating say that the Earth is almost 4.55 billion years old.) Lord Kelvin fell asleep at the beginning of the lecture, but he woke up when Mr. Rutherford started talking about the age of the Earth and gave him “a baleful glance.” Mr. Rutherford remembers, “Then a sudden inspiration came, and I said Lord Kelvin had limited the age of the earth, provided no new source was discovered. That prophetic utterance refers to what we are now considering tonight, radium! Behold! the old boy beamed upon me.”

• Film director and screenplay writer Kevin Smith is a funny guy, as is amply demonstrated in the question-and-answer sessions he has with his fans in his numerous live shows called “An Evening with Kevin Smith.” He says, “There’s no such thing as a dopey question. In fact, the worse the question is, the better for me, because we can have some fun with it.” Other people may disagree with Mr. Smith and say that some questions are, in fact, dopey. For example, Mr. Smith remembers, “One guy at a show came up to the mic and said, ‘Let’s say your wife is in a horrible accident and the only way to save her is to put her brain in the body of an 8-year-old girl.’ And then he wants to know what our sex life would be like.” As Mr. Smith correctly points out, “Marty Scorsese never gets questions like that.”

• Educator Alice Trillin once listened to a speech by New York governor George Pataki in which he spoke about his older brother, who grew up in a home with modest financial resources but was accepted to Yale. Their post office worker father drove to New Haven, Connecticut, to ask the Yale director of admissions how the son of a postal worker could be expected to go to Yale without a scholarship. (The director of admissions immediately called the Yale Westchester Alumni Association to find a solution to that particular problem.) After governor Pataki had finished the speech, Ms. Trillin told him, “That was one of the best speeches I’ve ever heard. Why in the world are you a Republican?”

• Orson Welles was multi-talented, although multi-geniused might be a better adjective. He spent a lot of time doing things to make money so that he could make his own independent films, and many people think that some of the things he worked on were not worthy of his genius. Sometimes, late in his life, he gave lectures in middle America to audiences that did not fill all of the seats available. He would introduce himself, correctly, as a film director, an actor, a writer, a painter, a designer, and a magician, and then he would scan the audience and say, “Isn’t it strange that there are so many of me and so few of you?”

• Ian McEwan wanted to learn to speak correctly when he was young; therefore, he arranged for his best friend, Mark Wing-Davey, whom he calls “a rare and genuine middle-class type,” to say the word “did” whenever Ian mistakenly said the word “done.” One day, Ian gave an oral presentation in history class on the reforms of Pope Gregory VII. Ian mistakenly said the word “done,” Mark said the word “did,” and the history teacher became angry at what he thought was Mark’s rudeness. Fortunately, Ian was able to explain what had happened.

• Al Capp, the cartoonist of Li’l Abner, frequently lectured. He especially enjoyed question-and-answer sessions, and before his lectures audience members would be given index cards on which were printed this message: “Al Capp Is An Expert On Nothing But Has An Opinion On Everything. What Is Your Question?” He would compose witty and/or thought-provoking answers to the questions, then deliver them at the public-speaking event. For example: “Are you for or against euthanasia? A: For whom? Clarify.”

• Resistance can be successful, at least temporarily. On January 13, 1943, a Nazi leader named Paul Geisler made a speech at the University of Munich. In his speech, he stated that women ought not to be students at the university; instead, they ought to be making German babies. Insulted, several women left the lecture hall and were immediately arrested. This enraged the male students, who beat up Paul Geisler until the women were released. Later, the Nazi leader apologized publicly for his remarks.

• In 1985, American novelist Don DeLillo won the National Book Award for his novel White Noise. His acceptance speech was brief: He simply stood up and said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here tonight, but I thank you all for coming.”

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David Bruce: Public Speaking Anecdotes

Theodor Geisel, who is better known as Dr. Seuss, disliked public speaking because of an event that happened in his youth. In 1918, Theodor was a Boy Scout, and he was among the 10 Boy Scouts who had sold the most Liberty Bonds in his hometown of Springfield, Massachusetts. As a result, he and the other Boy Scouts were to be awarded a medal by former President Theodore Roosevelt. At the awards ceremony, President Roosevelt awarded the first nine Boy Scouts their medals, then he ran out of medals. Not knowing that Theodor was supposed to receive a medal, too, he asked Theodor why he was on the stage. Theodor ran off the stage, embarrassed. Later, when he was a successful author, his wife, Helen, asked him to accept the invitation to speak in Westchester, New York, at a women’s college. The audience waited two hours for him to arrive to give the speech, but he never showed up. Later, Mr. Geisel confessed to his wife that he had stayed in the train station because he was too afraid to go on stage and speak in public.

Ohio governor Jim Rhodes once gave a speech at the dedication of a building on the Ohio University campus in Portsmouth, Ohio. Unfortunately, before he spoke, many other people spoke, including the mayor, the head of the labor union, the state representative, and the chair of the city council. Therefore, when Governor Rhodes was finally able to speak, he told this story: An agricultural pest was threatening Ohio crops, so state troopers were under orders to stop every farm vehicle that came along. Troopers stopped a farmer and asked what he had in his truck. The farmer answered, “A load of manure, and John, my son.” A little further down the road, troopers again stopped the farmer and asked what he had in the truck. Again, the farmer replied, “A load of manure, and John, my son.” The third time troopers stopped the truck and received the answer, “A load of manure, and John, my son,” John looked up at his father and requested, “Next time, introduce me first.”

According to the Quakers, speaking in unprogrammed meeting is not something that can be planned; instead, it is a matter of divine inspiration. At least once, remaining silent resulted in a convert. Richard Jordan was a renowned Quaker preacher. Living near him was William Williams, who wanted to hear Mr. Jordan speak. He attended several First-day meetings, but Mr. Jordan remained silent. Thinking that perhaps Mr. Jordan spoke only during weekday meetings, Mr. Williams attended several weekday meetings, but again Mr. Jordan remained silent. However, the meetings—even though Mr. Jordan remained silent—had an effect on Mr. Williams, and he became a Quaker. Only then did the Holy Spirit again move Mr. Jordan to speak during meetings.

In 2007, when John McCain was running for the office of President of the United States, a man told him after hearing a luncheon speech, “I’ve seen in the press where in your run for the presidency, you’ve been sucking up to the religious right. I was just wondering how soon do you predict a Republican candidate for president will start sucking up to the old Rockefeller wing of the Republican Party?” Mr. McCain hesitated, then replied, “I’m probably going to get in trouble, but what’s wrong with sucking up to everybody?”

Comedian Don Knotts was once requested to emcee a dinner for fellow comedian Bob Hope. At first, Mr. Knotts was reluctant to emcee the dinner because he didn’t think he was that good at emceeing, but when the very persuasive promoter of the dinner told him that Mr. Hope had specifically requested that Mr. Knotts be the emcee, he agreed. However, when he arrived at the dinner, Mr. Hope greeted him, and then asked, “Hi, Don. What are you doing here?”

Aviator Amelia Earhart spoke her mind. Addressing the Daughters of the American Revolution, she told them, “You really shouldn’t have invited me here. I always say what I think, and you may not like it.” She then gave her thoughts about war: “You glorify it. You applaud the marching feet and the band and you cheer on the military machine. You really all ought to be drafted.” Applause for that particular speech from that particular audience was slight.

Kim Zmeskal started training in Houston, Texas, at age six, and the great gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi arrived shortly afterward. As a teenager weighing 71 pounds and standing 4-feet-5 tall, she competed for him. When the 14-year-old Kim won an award for Female Athlete of the Year in 1990, after becoming United States national champion, she amused the crowd by mentioning in her speech “people you’ve been with since you were little.”

Winston Churchill, a politician and a Noble Prize winner in literature, wrote his own speeches. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt listened to a radio broadcast of a speech by Prime Minister Churchill while he was working on his own speech with the help of three ghostwriters. President Roosevelt was impressed by Churchill’s speech, and one of his ghostwriters, Robert Sherwood, said, “I’m afraid, Mr. President, he rolls his own.”

Sometimes, the introductions of public speakers can drag on much too long. In Johannesburg, South Africa, speaker Maurice Samuel had to wait for over 40 minutes as Rabbi Rome went on and on in his introduction of a weary Mr. Samuel, who had just finished a long flight. Finally, the introduction completed, Mr. Samuel rose and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, while Rome was fiddling, I was burning.”

Conductor Otto Klemperer disliked being bored. At the end of a boring lecture on composer Paul Hindemith, the lecturer asked if anyone had any questions. Maestro Klemperer stood up, and when everyone looked at him, he asked, “Where is the lavatory?”

In 1941, Thomas Buckley ran for auditor of the state of Massachusetts, using a campaign speech that had only seven words: “I am an auditor, not an orator.” The speech was good enough for him to win several elections for auditor.

Speech-making advice from Franklin Delano Roosevelt: “Be sincere; be brief; be seated.”

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David Bruce: Public Speaking Anecdotes

Mother Jones

By Bertha Howell – This image is available from the United States Library of Congress’s Prints and Photographs division under the digital ID cph.3a10320.T

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On May 1, 1930, famous union organizer Mother Jones celebrated her 100th birthday. She was surrounded by friends and reporters at her party, and the event was even filmed by movie cameras — Mother Jones was excited to be part of a movie with sound. But when the cameraman tried to explain to her how to speak for the camera, she snapped, “What the hell do you know about it? I was making speeches before you were born!”

When World War II hero John F. Kennedy first entered politics he became a United States Representative, then he started campaigning for a seat in the Senate. While running for Senator, he campaigned in Fall River, Massachusetts, where many people were of French descent. Unfortunately, his Fall River manager, Ed Berube, made a notable mistake when he introduced Mr. Kennedy at the very first Fall River political meeting. Mr. Berube stood up and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to meet Congressman Joe Martin.” Not only did Mr. Berube get Mr. Kennedy’s name wrong, but Joe Martin was a Republican! Mr. Berube thought he would be fired, but Mr. Kennedy thought the mistake was funny and went ahead with his campaign speech, saying, “Maybe Ed would rather be working with Joe Martin, but I’d rather have him working for me.”

Following the death of a good friend, James M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan, spoke at St. Andrew’s University in Scotland. However, his speech started badly. He mumbled so that the students could not hear him, and he played with a letter opener that he had absent-mindedly picked up. Suddenly, a student shouted, “Put it down, Jamie, or you’ll cut your throat!” This roused Mr. Barrie, and he gave a good speech. Among other things he spoke of, he read to the students a letter that the explorer Robert Falcon Scott had written to him during his doomed South Pole expedition — the letter had been found on Mr. Scott’s frozen corpse: “We are in a desperate state — feet frozen, etc., no fuel, and a long way from food, but it would do your heart good to be in our tent, to hear our songs and our cheery conversation.”

When Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter Meyer Berger was a boy, his family was poor. One day early in the 20th century, he announced to his mother that he had been given the honor of making the acceptance speech when a local organization donated a new flag to his school. Of course, this was good news, but his mother looked at his shoes and was embarrassed. She told the family that they had only 25 cents, and either she could use the money to buy Meyer a used pair of shoes so he could be decently dressed when he made the acceptance speech, or she could put it in the gas meter and the family could eat a hot supper. The family voted for the shoes, and they ate a cold supper that night. After young Meyer had made his acceptance speech at school, he repeated it at home so his family could hear him.

In 1951, Robert F. Kennedy invited Ralph Bunche, the first African-American to win the Nobel Peace Prize, to speak at a legal forum at the University of Virginia. Mr. Bunche wrote back that he was willing to speak, but only before an integrated audience. At that time, many University of Virginia students objected to black people and white people being seated together. Mr. Kennedy made a great effort and persuaded the students to allow integration, and Mr. Bunche spoke before an audience in which black people and whitepeople were seated together.

Patrick Henry advocated the independence of America from the rule of Great Britain. On March 23, 1775, he made a famous speech that ended, “Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!” The ending words so resonated with the American spirit that some soldiers had the words “LIBERTY OR DEATH” put on their uniforms. Such speeches also earned Mr. Henry the nickname “Son of Thunder.”

Benjamin Lay was an 18th-century Quaker who preached against slavery. At a Quaker meeting, Mr. Lay waved a sword over his head as he shouted that slavery was just as pleasing to God as abusing the Bible would be. He then plunged the sword through a Bible. Previously, he had inserted in the Bible a packet of red dye resembling blood. The dye splattered people sitting nearby, and Mr. Lay told them that now other people could see the stain of their sin.

Political cartoonist Thomas Nast used to go out on the lecture circuit and create drawings as he talked to his audience and answered questions. One of the most popular parts of his lecture occurred when he drew in front of the audience a picture that no one thought made any sense — until he turned it right side up and showed the audience that it was a picture of Niagara Falls.

Sojourner Truth, an African-American woman, gave many speeches against slavery, as well as many speeches supporting civil rights and women’s rights. A heckler once shouted during one of her speeches that he cared as much for her anti-slavery ideas as he cared for a flea bite. Ms. Truth replied, “The Lord willing, I’ll keep you scratching.”

Dwight David Eisenhower once was scheduled to speak at a dinner with three previous speakers who went well over their allotted time. Because of the lateness of the evening, when it was Mr. Eisenhower’s turn to speak, he said that all speeches needed punctuation, and he was the period. Then he sat down. (It was a popular speech.)

Maxine Hong Kingston won the National Book Critics Circle Award for nonfiction with her 1976 book, The Woman Warrior. When she gave a speech at the awards ceremony, she was unable to see over the podium because she is only four feet and nine inches tall. Therefore, she bent sideways around the podium and gave her acceptance speech.

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

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