War – davidbruceblog #2

David Bruce: War Anecdotes

• Ballerina Illaria Obidenna Ladré lived through interesting times. When the Titanic struck an iceberg in 1912, she saw a huge sign on the main street in Petrograd: “Titanic Sunk.” She also witnessed the Russian Tsar giving a watch to retiring actor Korgen Krukovskoy on February 18, 1917. It was the last watch the Tsar ever awarded because that night the Russian Revolution started. As Illaria left the theater with her mother, they heard shooting. Life during the Revolution was difficult. Illaria’s sister got tuberculosis, so their mother bought a goat for its milk. Because they lived in a third floor apartment, they arranged for another family to take care of the goat. Unfortunately, within three days the goat had disappeared — the other family had eaten it! Illaria and her family survived the Revolution, but at times the only food they had to eat was American kidney beans and Crisco. Sometimes, to get fuel to cook with, they were forced to tear up the parquet flooring from their apartment and burn it in a tin oven.

• Opera singer Leo Slezak was unable to leave Germany and Austria in World War II, although his son Walter, an actor, had become an American citizen. After the war was over, comedian Bob Hope helped convince the Allies to provide protection for Leo Slezak’s estate. In addition, Walter got the addresses of nearly 1,000 American servicemen stationed in the Munich area. He sent each of the servicemen a 5-pound package containing necessities and asked them to deliver the packages to his father. Of the 958 packages that he sent, his father received 457.

• Malcolm Glenn Wyer was a librarian who was interested in expanding his library’s holdings in the field of aeronautics. Therefore, in 1940, he asked Maggs Brothers, a London book-dealing firm, to ship a collection of aeronautical books to the Denver [Colorado] Public Library, where they could be inspected, and if found suitable, purchased. Maggs Brothers agreed and sent the requested books. Later, Mr. Wyer received a letter from Maggs Brothers, saying that the day after the books had been sent, the warehouse where they had been stored was destroyed by Nazi bombs.

• A Lithuanian farmer once found an ancient lamp in a field. Because it was dirty, he rubbed it — and a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. The Lithuanian thought a moment about his wishes, then said, “My first wish is for China to invade Lithuania. My second wish is for China to invade Lithuania. My third wish is for China to invade Lithuania.” The genie asked why the Lithuanian wanted China to invade Lithuania three times. The Lithuanian replied, “Because the Chinese Army will have to cross Russia six times.”

• While making a movie with Paramount Pictures, Victor Mature and Jim Backus were dressed as Roman warriors. Mr. Mature had business to attend to away from the movie studio during lunchtime; wanting company, he asked if Mr. Backus would go with him. Having completed his business, Mr. Mature and his guest stopped by a bar to have a drink, but the bartender — not being used to such guests — ignored their orders and stared at them. Mr. Mature then asked, “What’s the matter with you? Don’t you serve members of the Armed Forces?”

• Charles MacArthur promised Robert Benchley’s two sons that he would give them his war helmet. Unfortunately, he had tossed it into the New York bay, so he bought one at an Army-Navy store. For two hours, he and Mr. Benchley struggled to put “battle” scars on it — pounding it, denting it, and puncturing it. In addition, Mr. MacArthur dripped candle wax down its sides, so he could tell Mr. Benchley’s sons that he had used it as a candlestand while he wrote letters at night.

• At the beginning of World War II, Anna Russell lived near some retired British colonels, many of whom booby trapped their property in case of invasion by the Germans. One colonel put electrical wiring all over his property. In case of invasion, he was prepared to throw a switch and electrocute the enemy. Another colonel had trenches dug in his property, and then he covered the trenches with plywood and sod, creating tank traps.

• When David Niven enlisted to fight for the British in World War II, his boss, Sam Goldwyn, called him into his office, where he read him a beautiful, sentimental letter he had written. Then, with tears streaming down his face, Mr. Goldwyn buzzed a secretary, to whom he presented the letter and said, “Here’s something I’ve written to Davey. I want you should let it leak out to the press.”

• When World War I started, G.K. Chesterton wanted to fight for England, but an injury prevented him from raising an arm very high, thus making it impossible for him to join the infantry. In addition, his imposing weight made it impossible for him to join the cavalry. After taking thought of how he could serve his country in war, he said ruefully, “I might possibly form part of a barricade.”

• General Israel Putnam once told his troops during the Revolutionary War that he wanted only willing soldiers: “If there are any of you who are dissatisfied and who want to return home, they can step six paces out in front of the line.” General Putnam then added, “But I’ll shoot the first man that does step out.”

• World War I helped Cambridge University in an unusual way. The university owned some stock in a steel company that rose in value with the war. Selling the stock at a high price, Cambridge University used its war profits to renovate an apartment used by poet A.E. Housman, author of A Shropshire Lad.

• With Ballet Theatre, Alicia Markova toured several Latin American countries that were in the throes of revolution. While Ballet Theatre was in Bogota, Colombia, the British Embassy advised the dance troupe to stay in their hotel because “there is going to be shooting today.”

• When comedian Dick Gregory showed up for his Army physical, he was asked what he had been in civilian life. He replied, “Deliriously happy.”

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David Bruce: War Anecdotes

• In 1941, people were worried about the war and about foreign spies. In addition, people were concerned about relieving human misery. Four American Quakers journeyed to England to see about undertaking some relief efforts. However, one of the Quakers was detained under suspicion of being a foreign spy when a book written in a foreign language and a map of the Mediterranean on which had been drawn lines was found in his possession. Fortunately, the matter was quickly cleared up. The book was a Greek New Testament, and the map showed the wanderings of St. Paul. The items were returned to Bible scholar Henry Cadbury, and he continued his relief efforts.

• During World War II, Maria Callas’ mother sheltered a couple of British officers for six weeks from the Germans and Italians then occupying Athens, Greece. Shortly after the officers left, some Italian soldiers arrived to search the Callas apartment — from which incriminating evidence had not yet been removed. Maria, then only 17 years old, saved the life of herself and her family by going to the piano and singing. The Italian soldiers were music lovers, so they listened to young Maria and forgot about searching the apartment. In addition, the next day they brought food as gifts for the Callas family and Maria once more sang for them.

• At the beginning of World War I, opera singer Leo Slezak decided to be prepared. Knowing that food can be scarce during times of war, he sent the servants away one day, then secretly had delivered to his estate in the Bavarian Alps a “few provisions” — including 200 pounds of coffee, 300 pounds of sugar, 500 pounds of flour, and 1,000 rolls of toilet paper. The Slezaks safely hid the provisions, and they — and their friends — were comfortable for the duration of the war.

• General George McClellan was not overeager to fight during the Civil War. Instead, he kept pestering President Abraham Lincoln for more men. An exasperated President Lincoln bore it for a while and then said, “If I gave McClellan all the men he asks for, they couldn’t find room to lie down. They would all have to sleep standing up.” Eventually, President Lincoln fired General McClellan for non-aggressiveness.

• During World War I, Charles MacArthur served as a private in the United States Army, where he got bored with saluting officers and calling them “sir.” So Mr. MacArthur and his friends each day elected a private to serve as caliph for the day. Before addressing the caliph, each person had to bow to him twice and then use only high-falutin’ language such as “O Commander of the Faithful, is it true that ….”

• Humorist Ellen Orleans once brought home a new cat, and it began to fight with the old cat. Well, the two cats didn’t actually fight — they just made a lot of threatening noises at each other. This gave Ms. Orleans an idea for our military policy: “Put only blanks in our nuclear warheads and Trident missiles. Make as loud a racket as you want, but no death or destruction allowed.”

• During World War I, Pope John XXIII (1881-1963) was Father Roncalli and served under Father Pignatello, chaplain general of the Italian army. Many years later, after he had become Pope, he recognized Father Pignatello during an audience and saluted him, saying, “Sergeant Roncalli, at your orders, General.”

• The Netherlands were once besieged by the Spanish Duke of Alva during the winter in his attempt to wipe out the Protestants. Because the Dutch fleet was frozen in the harbor, things looked bad for the Netherlands; however, the Dutch soldiers simply grabbed their muskets, put on skates, and skated out to the Spaniards and defeated them.

• In Czarist Russia, a company of Russians prepared to go into combat. The commandant told his soldiers, “Get your bayonets ready and prepare to meet your man in hand-to-hand combat.” The lone Jew in his company raised his hand and asked, “Could you show me my man? Maybe we can come to an agreement.”

• An entire platoon of enemy soldiers was captured by a lone Israeli soldier. The Israeli told them, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to shoot you. I’m just going to take you to a POW camp.” “Thank you,” the enemy soldiers said. “You’re very kind.” “Don’t thank me,” the Israeli soldier said. “Just be thankful that my husband didn’t capture you.”

• Nathan Rothschild was outspoken. Once a Major Martins was telling him about the horrors of war, and Mr. Rothschild interrupted with the comment that if many people had not died during wartime, presumably the major would still be a lieutenant.

• Barbara Bush once visited Japanese emperor Hirohito and complimented him on his new palace, then asked what had happened to his old one. Hirohito replied, “I am afraid you bombed it.”

• Bill Arp, a humorist from Georgia, once described his career as a soldier in the Civil War like this: “I reckon I killed as many of them as they did of me.”

• “Washing one’s hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful and not be neutral.” — Paulo Freire.

• “An eye for an eye is a terrible way to blind the world.” — Mahatma Gandhi.

• “You don’t have to be straight to fight and die for your country. You just have to shoot straight.” — Barry Goldwater.

• A little boy once asked John F. Kennedy how he became a war hero. Mr. Kennedy replied, “It was absolutely involuntary — they sank my boat.”

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David Bruce: War Anecdotes

• After unsuccessfully trying to capture Pancho Villa in Mexico, Charles MacArthur and his military outfit returned to America, where they were given a parade in which a drunken Mr. MacArthur steered a car down the street with one hand while he waved an American flag with the other. As he drove, he shouted anti-military slogans such as “Down with Colonel Foreman” — Colonel Milton Foreman being his commanding officer. Mr. MacArthur was punished by being forced to pick up litter at the military base. Because he found that boring, he made some alterations to his blue prisoner suit. He used gold radiator paint for stripes, added epaulets and other decorations, and succeeded so well that visitors to the base thought he was a general — but an oddly acting general, since he saluted each piece of litter before picking it up. Colonel Foreman saw him and gave him his discharge papers that same day. Years later, Mr. MacArthur and his wife, the famous actress Helen Hayes, saw Colonel Foreman and introduced themselves to him. According to Ms. Hayes, as soon as the colonel heard Mr. MacArthur’s name and remembered who he was, “The colonel’s face turned slowly purple, and his eyes seemed to go out of focus. Then, without saying a word, he stood up and stalked away.”

• Screenwriter and playwright Charles MacArthur went on special assignment for the Pentagon during World War II. Because of the nature of the assignment, he was told that he would have to be an officer and was asked what rank he would like. He responded, “I would like to be a fort.”

• During World War I, Thomas Beecham wanted to conduct some operas by the German composer Richard Wagner; however, an English patriot who ran a newspaper felt that playing German music when England was at war with Germany was unpatriotic and so he demanded that Mr. Beecham either not conduct Wagnerian opera or face the wrath of the press. Fortunately, Mr. Beecham knew that the patriot had some very fine German paintings, and he offered not to conduct Wagner provided the patriot burn his German paintings in public. When Mr. Beecham made his proposal to the patriot, the patriot was silent for a time, and then he smiled and said, “It is rather silly, isn’t it?” Mr. Beecham was thereafter left to conduct Wagner in peace.

• Franklin Delano Roosevelt was an important politician whose son Elliott did not turn out so well. Maury Maverick, Sr., was an important politician who, on his deathbed, called his son, Maury Maverick, Jr., a Civil Rights lawyer, to him. Mr. Maverick, Sr., said to Mr. Maverick, Jr., “Son, I want you to know that you didn’t turn out to be as big a horse’s ass as Elliott Roosevelt.” Years later, when Maury Maverick, Jr. was defending Vietnam War resisters, President Lyndon Johnson had an aide call Mr. Maverick, Jr., up to tell him that his father was wrong — according to President Johnson, he was a horse’s ass.

• Ashoka was an emperor in northern India who waged imperialistic wars. After a battle, he wandered among the corpses of the battlefield, feeling miserable, when he noticed a Buddhist monk who appeared to be radiant with happiness. Ashoka pursued the monk and asked why the monk was so happy when he was not. After talking with the monk, Ashoka began to follow Buddhism. He stopped waging imperialistic wars and he made sure the citizens of his country had food. Thousands of years after he died, he is still remembered as a benevolent ruler.

• Ethel Coffman, born 1895, remembers working in a fancy department store in Orange County, California, during World War II. The federal government regulated women’s fashions to a large extent to save materials for the war effort. No cuffs or full skirts were allowed. The heels on women’s shoes could be a maximum of one and a half inches. In addition, women were encouraged to donate their nylon stockings to the war effort so they could be recycled into such items as parachutes.

• President Abraham Lincoln gave many pardons to soldiers who were accused of dereliction of duty. His sons, Tad and Willie, played with a doll they named Jack. Pretending that Jack was a soldier, the two boys gave him a trial and sentenced him to death for sleeping while on picket duty, and then they asked their father to pardon Jack. President Lincoln wrote on Executive Mansion stationery, “The doll Jack is pardoned. By order of the President. A. Lincoln.”

• When the Germans and Italians occupied Athens, Greece, during World War II, one of their rules required the Athenians to remain silent — even in their own homes. The Greeks enjoyed breaking this rule. Maria Callas, then a teenager, used to sing the lead role of Toscawith windows and doors wide open, and across the rooftops the voice of an unknown man responded, singing the role of Mario.

• Leo Slezak spent a short time in the Austrian army, and then he went on to fame and fortune as an operatic tenor. He gave his former commanding officer a photograph of himself as Othello, and inscribed it, “In remembrance of the recruit of the 17th Rifle Battalion, who rose to the command of the Venetian fleet.”

• James McNeill Whistler was present during a discussion of the Boer War in which it was claimed that British commander Sir Redvers Buller had retreated across the Modder River in an exemplary manner — “without losing a man, a flag, or a gun.” Mr. Whistler added, “Or a minute.”

• When some new officers presented themselves to the Duke of Wellington, he looked them over, then said, “I don’t know what effect they will have upon the enemy, but by God, they frighten me!”

• “In a condition of war hysteria it is always considered unpatriotic to speak the truth.” — Hesketh Pearson.

• “To win 100 victories in 100 battles is not the highest skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the highest skill.” — Sun-tzu.

• “In a battle, the winners and losers both lose.” — the Buddha.

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David Bruce: Oriental War

• The state of Qi attacked the state of Chu. Chu general Zi Fa did all he could to beat off the Qi attackers, but he was unsuccessful. Fortunately, Zi Fa was skilled at directing the talents of others. Learning that a skilled thief was in his army, Zi Fa decided to put the thief’s skills to work. The first night, the thief went to the Chu camp and stole the mosquito netting from the bed of the Chu general, then the thief brought it back to Zi Fa, who had it returned the next day to the Chu general. The next night, the thief stole the pillow from under the head of the sleeping Chu general; once again, Zi Fa had it returned the next day to the Chu general. The third night, the thief stole the hairpin of the sleeping Chu general; once again, Zi Fa had it returned the next day to the Chu general. These thefts made the Chu general afraid that his head would be stolen next, so he gave up the attack and returned home. Because of the skill of a thief — and Zi Fa’s skill at directing those talents — the state of Chu was saved.

• The state of Qin decided to invade the state of Chu; therefore, the King of Qin sent an envoy to Chu on the pretext of inspecting its treasures but for the real purpose of assessing its defenses and preparedness for war. However, the King of Chu understood the envoy’s real purposes. When the envoy arrived and asked to see the Chu treasures, the King of Chu led the envoy to a room where the Chu ministers were sitting, where he introduced the envoy to the ministers, saying that the ministers were the real treasure of Chu. The King of Chu then invited the envoy to ask any questions he wished. The envoy did ask questions and soon he discovered that the ministers were doing a good job of keeping the Chu citizens healthy, happy, prosperous, and well trained in military matters. Realizing that the Chu citizens would fight hard for their well-governed country, the envoy returned home and advised the King of Qin not to invade Chu.

• The state of Qi wanted to take over the states of Lu and Liang, but did not want to fight a bloody battle. Therefore, the King of Qi decreed that everyone in Qi would wear cotton clothing purchased at high prices from Lu and Liang. The farmers of Lu and Liang stopped growing food and instead started growing cotton, selling the cotton at a high price and buying food. After the farmers of Lu and Liang had sown all their fields with cotton, the King of Qi suddenly decreed that all his people would stop wearing cotton and would instead wear silk clothing manufactured at home. Quickly, a famine started in Lu and Liang, and many of their citizens — including citizens in the military — moved to Qi to avoid starving. The states of Lu and Liang grew so weak that Qi was easily able to take over.

• The state of Han and the state of Zhao went to war against each other, but their strength was equal and the war was at a stalemate. The state of Han sent envoys to the state of Wei to ask for aid; however, the King of Wei replied that he was friends with the King of Zhao and so would not fight against him. Later, the state of Zhao sent envoys to the state of Wei to ask for aid; however, the King of Wei replied that he was friends with the King of Han and so would not fight against him. Because the state of Han and the state of Zhao were so equal in strength, and because neither state could convince Wei to join with it, the war ended. Simply by remaining neutral, the King of Wei had stopped a war.

• King Cao Cao decided to launch an attack against the state of Wuhuan although many of his officials advised against it. Despite many long and arduous difficulties, during which he had to kill thousands of battle horses to feed his soldiers, King Cao Cao conquered Wuhuan and then returned home. After his return, the King asked for a list of the officials who had advised him not to attack Wuhuan. The officials were afraid when King Cao Cao met with them, but he explained that their advice had been correct. True, he had won the war, but only after great difficulty. The best advice had been not to start the war at all. To encourage his officials to continue to give him their best advice, King Cao Cao rewarded them well with treasure.

• General Zhi Bo wanted to attack a fortress in the mountains, but no road went to the fortress. Therefore, he ordered a huge bell to be built. When it was completed, he and his army departed, leaving the bell behind. The general of the mountain fortress saw the huge bell and desired it, so he ordered his soldiers to build a road so that the bell could be taken into the mountain fortress. A few days after the road had been built, General Zhi Bo returned and led his army up the road to the mountain fortress, which he quickly captured.

• House official Dong Anyu was an intelligent man who understood that in times of peace one must prepare for war. Sent to renovate a palace in a strategically located city, Dong Anyu ordered that tree trunks be used in the walls and that solid bronze be used for the pillars. Later, war started. The defenders of the city in which the palace stood began to run out of arrows, so they went to the palace and used the tree trunks to make arrow shafts and the bronze to make arrowheads. With their great supply of arrows, the defenders of the city were victorious.

• Zhi Bo of the state of Jin once gave the King of Wei, a much smaller state, many presents of jade and horses. This aroused the suspicions of Nan Wenzi, an advisor to the King of Wei. He argued that Zhi Bo must have an ulterior motive in giving the gifts, and that therefore the King should beef up its border guards. Nan Wenzi was correct. Zhi Bo had hoped that the gifts would relax the King of Wei’s guard, but after launching a surprise attack against Wei, and finding its borders well guarded, he was forced to give up the attack.

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David Bruce: War Stories

• In September of 2001 married couple V.R. “Swede” and Martha Jacobsen Roskam were touring Ho Chi Mihn City in Vietnam. Martha visited a flea market and saw a vendor selling a basket of dog tags that had been worn by American soldiers. She told her husband about the dog tags. He was angry. She remembers, “He said those should not be sold on the streets as souvenirs and trivia.” The following day Martha bought all 37 of the dog tags for $20. With the help of their son, Peter, who was then an Illinois state senator, they found the last known address that the U.S. military had for each soldier. Peter called the National Archives’ National Personnel Records Center in St. Louis, Missouri. The director of the National Personnel Records Center said, “Senator, give me one of the names.” Quickly, the director said, “It’s a match. Give me another one.” The dog tags were genuine. The Roskams started trying to find the current addresses of the soldiers. Martha said, “The last address we had for many of these guys was 40 years old, so there were a lot of twists and turns along the way.” Whenever possible, Swede and Martha returned the dog tags personally. The first dog tag they returned were to a woman in Phoenix, Arizona, whose nephew, whom she had adopted, had been with a platoon in Vietnam. His platoon stopped to rest, and he sat on a land mine that killed him. Martha said, “Until then, it had been sort of an academic interest for me. My husband is the one who really made it all happen. But then I walked into this very modest home and saw this woman. She had the flag that had been given to her. The first time we saw one another, we embraced and we both wept as mothers. It wasn’t hard, but it was very poignant. From then on, it took a different dimension for me.” Four of the soldiers whose dog tags they had bought had been killed in combat. Others had died since returning home from Vietnam. One soldier remembered that he had lost his dog tags when his helmet was shot off while he was rappelling in a firefight. Martha said, “One fellow was out in the field a lot and said, ‘When all you lost was a dog tag, it wasn’t a bad day.’” Swede and Martha returned all 37 dog tags, an effort that took them seven years and ended in September of 2008. Martha said, “We have been so blessed by meeting these wonderful guys who gave so much of themselves at that time and suffered so much. It was something we were supposed to do — and we did it.”

• In 1957, actor Jamie Farr (who later played Klinger on TV’s M*A*S*H) was drafted into the United States Army. His job for a while was to make training films, but he had to get up early for reveille — the bugles blew at 5:30 a.m. to call the soldiers to line up in a parking lot for roll call. The soldiers were stationed in Queens, New York, and people living in the apartment buildings near the parking lot did not appreciate the bugles. One of those residents painted in big letters on a wall facing the parking lot “YANKEE, GO HOME.” By the way, in Fort Knox, Kentucky, Mr. Farr made a training film. A major parked his Jeep on the field where Mr. Farr and others were filming, and he walked over to them to ask what they were doing. They were making a training film demonstrating how a tank could run over anything in its path, and as the major was talking, a tank ran over the major’s Jeep. By the way, when Mr. Farr married Joy Ann Richards in 1963, they attended a show by comedian Danny Thomas, who introduced them and said that they had been married for one day. Mr. Farr shouted, “Yes, and they said it wouldn’t last!”

• In a speech in 2011, United States President Barack Obama told a story about an American private named Lloyd Corwin, who nearly died during World War II’s Battle of the Bulge. He was serving in a regiment in the 80th Division of George Patton’s Third Army, and he fell 40 feet into a ravine. Fortunately, a friend — a soldier named Andy Lee — scaled down the ravine and brought him to safer ground. President Obama said, “For the rest of his years, Lloyd credited this soldier, this friend, named Andy Lee, with saving his life, knowing he would never have made it out alone. It was a full four decades after the war, when the two friends reunited in their golden years, that Lloyd learned that the man who saved his life, his friend Andy, was gay. He had no idea. And he didn’t much care. Lloyd knew what mattered. He knew what had kept him alive; what made it possible for him to come home and start a family and live the rest of his life. It was his friend.”

• During World War II, the British sent bands overseas to entertain the troops. English classical music producer Walter Legg heard the bands auditioning at Drury Lane Theatre for overseas tours, and he marveled at the intonation of the bands, which was flawless although the theatre was unheated and very cold — Mr. Legge recalled “near-Arctic conditions.” He congratulated the conductors on the flawless intonations of their bands, and one conductor told him, “You would have no intonation problems if you had our authority to put any man who played out of tune on seven days latrine duty.”

• British anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski (1884-1942) once spoke with a cannibal who was aware of the vast number of casualties in World War I. The cannibal asked how the Europeans were able to consume so much human flesh. Told that Europeans did not eat human flesh, the cannibal was horrified and asked how Europeans were able to kill human beings for no reason.

• “Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan.” — A. Whitney Brown.

• “Truth is the first casualty of war.” — P.J. O’Rourke.

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David Bruce: War Anecdotes

• When American soldiers shot civilians at My Lai in South Vietnam, Hugh C. Thompson and two crewmembers, Glenn Andreotta and Larry Colburn, witnessed what was happening from a helicopter overhead. They landed the helicopter between some advancing American soldiers and a group of Vietnamese civilians consisting of children, women, and old men, and they stopped the American soldiers from killing the Vietnamese civilians. Later, Hugh C. Thompson and his crewmembers took off in the helicopter, and crewmember Mr. Andreotta saw movement in a body-filled ditch. They landed the helicopter and rescued a two-year-old child from among the corpses. Why did they intervene to stop as much of the slaughter and save as many lives as they could? Hugh C. Thompson explained that “what was going on wasn’t right.”

• During World War II, a sailor found a dog, drunk, lying in a gutter. The sailor smuggled the dog on board the Coast Guard cutter Campbell, and the dog, now named Sinbad, charmed everyone so much that the ship’s captain allowed him to stay on board. Sinbad was given his own bunk, his data was entered into personnel files, and his name was called during roll call—he yipped when he heard his name. Sinbad did like alcohol, and after being discovered drunk, he was given a trial, and his rank was lowered from Chief Dog to First Class Dog. During battles against German U-boats, he stayed on deck. He retired in 1948, and at a reunion in 1986, his human crewmates remembered that as long as Sinbad served on the ship, none of the sailors on the Campbellwas killed in battle.

• War is horrible. After the first Battle of Bull Run, doctors saved as many wounded soldiers as they could, performing amputations as needed. Working with the doctors were Sisters of Charity nuns, who served as nurses. The nurses worked hard, and late at night they went to bed, although Sister Blanche remarked that sleeping would be difficult because of “the odor of death about this place.” In the morning, the odor was worse, and it was coming from the room next to where the nuns had slept. Sister Blanche courageously entered the room and found three amputated legs lying on the floor. They were buried, but in a coffin with a dead soldier. One of the Sisters of Charity wrote in her journal, “Yesterday a man was buried with three legs.”

• War sells newspapers. Wilbur Storey bought the Chicago Times for $13,000 just three months before the Civil War began. He regarded the Civil War simply as a way to sell newspapers. He even told his war correspondents, “Telegraph fully all news and when there is no news send rumors.” William Randolph Hearst also used war to sell newspapers. Before the Spanish-American war, artist Frederic Remington was a Hearst newspaper employee stationed in Havana, where all was quiet. He telegraphed Mr. Hearst asking to return home. Mr. Hearst replied, “Please remain. You furnish the pictures and I’ll furnish the war.”

• Pastor André Trocmé, the spiritual leader of Le Chambon, a village in southern France that resisted the Nazis and saved the lives of thousands of people, learned about the idea of conscientious objection from a German soldier in World War I. This German soldier worked as a telegrapher during the war, but he refused to carry weapons. Later, during World War II, Pastor André Trocmé did not carry weapons, but nevertheless he was effective in resisting the Nazis and in acting as a role model for others who wished to resist the Nazis.

• During the Vietnam War, a German shepherd named Bruiser became a hero. A soldier named John Flannelly was shot in the chest during a patrol, and although he commanded Bruiser to leave, Bruiser would not leave. Instead, he bit down on Mr. Fannelly’s shirt and started pulling. Mr. Flannelly grabbed Bruiser’s harness and Bruiser pulled him out of the danger zone, and Mr. Flannelly was able to get the medical care he needed.

• C.S. Lewis, the author of the Narnia Chronicles, fought in World War I and was wounded by shrapnel. Earlier, he had a chance to be moved to a safer artillery regiment, but he turned it down, saying, “I must confess that I have become very attached to this regiment. I have several friends whom I should be sorry to leave and I am just beginning to know my men and understand my work.” Not long afterward, his wound put him out of the war.

• Even during a war, it is possible to respect the environment. The Israeli tank commander Major General Abraham Yaffee did not want to harm the rare wild flowers in a field; therefore, he ordered an encampment to move away from the field so that the flowers would not be trampled. In addition, he once stopped his tank and halted its fire so that a cream-colored courser, a rare bird, would have time to move out of the way.

• Colin Powell, a four-star general, is of course a highly successful African-American. At a White House dinner, an African-American waiter said to him, “I just want to thank you and say it’s been good to see you here. I was in World War II, and I fought all the way from North Africa to Italy.” General Powell replied, “I should thank you.”

• During World War II, oceanographer Jacques Cousteau worked as a spy for the French Resistance. Once, he impersonated an Italian officer and spent four hours photographing top-secret papers. Because of Mr. Cousteau, the French Resistance was able to learn such things as the Italian naval signals code.

• World War I came close to aviator Amelia Earhart. While visiting her sister in Toronto, Canada, during Christmas of 1917, she saw four Canadian men on crutches who had been wounded overseas. Affected by their injures, Ms. Earhart became a nurses’ aid in Toronto at the Spadina Military Hospital.

• During the Korean War, listeners to the popular Aldrich Family radio program had to get used to Henry Aldrich’s voice frequently changing from week to week — the actors who played Henry Aldrich kept getting drafted!

• “Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” — Voltaire

***

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David Bruce: War Anecdotes

• During the evening of November 14, 1940, the Germans bombed the city of Coventry as part of its blitz against England. Alan Hartlet was only 16 when the bombs fell. The attack was concentrated, and it was devastating. In fact, the German Luftwaft was so pleased with the destruction that it invented a new word: to coventrate, which meant to reduce a city practically to rubble. By day Alan worked in an aerospace factory, and by night he was an Air Raid Precautions (ARP) messenger. He did such things as reporting the locations of fires, helping put the fires out, and helping wounded citizens. At 6:30 p.m. he heard the air-raid sirens and reported to work at the ARP post. He remembers hearing the bombs explode: “They were coming straight for us; it’s the most terrifying experience to stand there, hearing these bombs from a distance and them getting louder and louder and louder, wondering how many have they got left and are you going to be the next one?” He also remembers, “The Germans bombed Coventry very systematically. They bombed in straight lines from east to west, and then they started from south to north. It was like darning a sock. They picked out the whole centre of Coventry; it was the most accurate bombing seen in the war [to that point].” Many people died: 554, to be exact. An incendiary bomb exploded in the face of a warden at the ARP post and severely burned him. To get medical help for the warden, Alan rode his bicycle 2½ miles to the city centre. He remembers, “Shrapnel was falling—big, red-hot shards of shrapnel hitting the road; the searchlights were swinging; and I could see the glow in the sky as Coventry burned. Marks & Spencer was burning on one side, Woolworths on the other, the cathedral was in flames, and the air was full of brick dust, smoke and sparks.” He managed to reach the city centre, although he had to carry his bicycle across a huge bomb crater. He went to city hall and got medical help for the warden, who survived. Of course, the Germans hoped to sap the will of the English by bombing them. Of course, the blitz did not succeed in doing that. When the all-clear sounded after the bombing raid, the destruction was terrible, with shops burning, cars burning, lamp-posts leaning over, windows broken. But Alan remembers a surprising detail that shows the resilience of the English during the blitz: “To my great surprise, at six in the morning, a tea wagon arrived within minutes of the all-clear sounding, and the rescue squads were queueing up and having tea.”

• War sometimes has unexpected results. For example, Michael Foreman, the author of illustrator of many books for children, was a child in England during World War II, and he lived in a town that housed POWs. The POWs worked on the farms near the village, and they would participate in games of soccer. Some of the POWs married English women. For example, a German POW married Michael’s cousin Gwen. When the Germans bombed the town, many gardens were destroyed along with many buildings, resulting in the scattering of seeds. Growing among heaps of rubble could be found flowers such as marigolds and irises. Also growing among the heaps of rubble was something very valuable during wartime: potatoes. During the blackouts to prevent bombs from being dropped on buildings, a danger arose from accidents because people were driving vehicles without using the lights. Therefore, men were encouraged to leave their shirttails out while walking at night because the light color of the shirt would show up better at night than the men’s usually dark jackets. A farmer even painted white stripes on his cows just in case they wandered onto a road. In addition, the cards that came inside packs of cigarettes became a source of valuable information as the cards explained such things as how to wear a gas mask properly and how to dispose of incendiary bombs. By the way, a sailor once let a very young Michael take a puff on a cigarette, and Michael has never smoked since.

• The United States certainly gets into a lot of wars. Journalist and cartoonist Ted Rall once spoke with a British reporter who came up with an amusing idea for keeping the U.S. out of wars. The British reporter said, “If the average American cannot identify three cities in a country, the U.S. should not invade it.” According to Mr. Rall, “Given that the average American doesn’t know their state capital, much less three cities in, say, Canada, this would transform us into a pacifist society overnight.” Of course, ignorance abounds, and not just among common American citizens. D-Day took place at Normandy, and the Allied forces brought tons of food for civilians because the Allied forces thought that food would be scarce in Normandy. Actually, Normandy had plenty of food, although other places in France had food shortages—Allied bombs had destroyed train lines that normally would have transported food out of Normandy to the rest of France. Military officials telegraphed Eisenhower: PLENTY OF FOOD. SEND SHOES.”

• A student in the old Orient was learning about tricks that are used in war. For example, the student learned of an army that was in a weak position. To keep from being attacked at night, the general ordered many more fires to be built than were actually needed. This made his army appear to be stronger than it really was. Another example: A general had a strong army, but he wished to keep the number of soldiers secret from the enemy. Therefore, he ordered many fewer fires to be built than usual. This made his army appear to be weaker than it really was. The student disliked this trickery and told his teacher, “I am an honorable man, and when I am a general, I won’t use tricks.” The teacher told the student that a special place existed for generals like him: the graveyard.

• “When you’re seen one nuclear war, you’ve seen all you’ll ever see.”—David Bruce

• “I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, ‘Mother, what was war?’”—Eve Merriam

***

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David Bruce: War Anecdotes

• “Father John,” aka Chaplain Rev. Father John De Valles died a hero of World War I. He worked hard in No Man’s Land, bringing back many wounded soldiers so that medics could take care of them. Once, after Father John had carried a wounded soldier out of No Man’s Land, someone said, “That is a good joke on you. He is a Protestant.” Father John replied, “There is no distinction of creed or race; we are all Americans here.” (Other Chaplains felt the same way, and they respected the religion of all. During World War I, one Chaplain, a Jewish Rabbi, held a cross before a dying Christian soldier’s eyes in No Man’s Land.) Father John was free in giving away his possessions to soldiers; in fact, he was so free that soldiers sometimes took what they wanted when he was not around. After a soldier took his last pair of underwear, Father John smiled, then said ruefully, “That was rubbing it in.” As you would expect, Father John won many medals and awards; they included the Distinguished Service Cross and the French Croix de Guerre, with gilt star. Major-General Clarence R. Edwards said about Father John, “He was the bravest man I ever knew.”

• On September 1, 1983, during the Cold War, the USSR shot down Korean Air Lines Flight 007, killing all onboard, including US Congressman Lawrence Patton McDonald, from Georgia’s 7^thdistrict. This led to heightened tension between the USSR and the United States. Shortly afterward, on September 26, Soviet army software engineer Stanislav Petrov was working at a surveillance center near Moscow. He remembers, “Suddenly the screen in front of me turned bright red. An alarm went off. It was piercing, loud enough to raise a dead man from his grave.” What did the excitement mean? Mr. Petrov says, “The computer showed that the Americans had launched a nuclear strike against us.” This first alarm was followed by a second alarm and then by a third alarm. He remembers that “for 15 seconds, we were in a state of shock. We needed to understand, what’s next?” It was up to Mr. Petrov to make a decision: Was the United States really launching a nuclear attack against the Soviet Union, or was this a computer malfunction? He decided that it was a computer malfunction because the computer was saying that only five missiles had been launched against the USSR. He thought, When people start a war, they don’t start it with only five missiles. You can do little damage with just five missiles. If Mr. Petrov had not made the right decision on September 26, 1983, the Soviet Union could have launched nuclear missiles against the US, starting a nuclear war and perhaps ending the existence of civilization.
• Action star Chuck Norris is a favorite of many American soldiers. In 2006 and 2007 he went to the Middle East, and he says that he shook hands with nearly 40,000 soldiers. One soldier was up for reenlistment, and he said that wanted Chuck to be there when he re-upped. Chuck was willing, and he also was willing when the soldier asked him to twist his arm as he signed the reenlistment papers so it looked as if Chuck—a tough guy—was forcing him to sign. Many of the Chuck Norris Facts going around the Internet refer to Chuck’s image as a tough guy. For example: “Why were no weapons of mass destruction found in the Middle East? Because Chuck Norris lives in Texas.” By the way, in real life the front door of Chuck’s home displays a picture of a gun and these words: “We don’t dial 9-1-1 here.” Also by the way, when Chuck showed up at American bases in the Middle East some soldiers held up a sign that said this: “Chuck Norris is here! We can go home now!” Chuck says, “I wish that were true.”

• Funny and tragic and stupid incidents occurred during the Korean War. Captain Evelyn Decker, a U.S. Army nurse during the Korean War, remembers a funny incident involving one of two gay corpsmen she worked with who “were the best corpsmen we had.” One of the corpsmen wanted to leave Korea and go back home, so he wrote the Pentagon to announce that he was gay. Captain Decker says, “The reply he received said he was doing such a great job that he had to stay.” Tragically, Army nurses work on injured and dying soldiers. Captain Decker remembers that many of the newly injured soldiers who came into the medical facility where she worked were concerned about the condition of what they called their “family jewels.” She remembers, “Not all were lucky enough to have their ‘jewels’ intact.” Back in that racist time, some people, unfortunately, were stupid. Captain Decker remembers, “As some of the soldiers lay dying, they refused to let a black nurse [Captain Decker is African-American] care for them. They’d rather die than be treated by a black nurse—and some of them did.”

• Chips, a German shepherd/collie/huskie mix in the Army K-9 Corps, won both the Silver Star and the Purple Heart while fighting in Sicily, Italy, for General George Patton during World War II. Chips and the soldiers were pinned down on the beach when suddenly Chips ran toward and attacked the enemy soldiers in an Italian bunker. Enemy soldiers ran screaming out of the bunker, and the Allied soldiers saw Chips grabbing one enemy soldier by the throat. The remaining enemy soldiers surrendered. No problems occurred when Chips received the Silver Star and the Purple Heart, but when Chips met Supreme Allied Commander Dwight David Eisenhower, Chips bit his hand.

• Controversial film director John Waters got out of being drafted during the Vietnam War by checking a number of boxes (including “gay”) on a form and by weighing 129 pounds at a time when the minimum weight for a draftee was 130 pounds. He was classified 1Y, along with singer Iggy Pop, who had a very heavy illegal drug habit. When the Gulf War broke out, Iggy asked John, “Do you think they’ll call us?” John answered that they would be called only after all the hairdressers had been called.

***

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David Bruce: War Stories

Mathew B. Brady is famous because of many Civil War photographs; however, from 1858, he began to suffer from poor eyesight and relied on other photographers to focus his camera, although he set up the shot. During the Civil War, he got permission from President Abraham Lincoln to photograph the war, and he trained many photographers to help him do that. After the Battle of Gettysburg, Mr. Brady and several photographers whom he had trained took photographs of the corpses on the battlefield. If it were needed to make a photograph more dramatic, they would change the position of a corpse. Did Mr. Brady take all the photographs that have been attributed to him? Probably not. He took credit for all the photographs that the men he had trained took—something that did not make him popular with these photographers.

In 1946, when Nora Kaye and Muriel Bentley were dancing in England shortly after World War II, they were only partially prepared for wartime austerity. For example, realizing that the food options might be limited at the Savoy where they were staying, they asked the waiter what they could have for breakfast. The waiter replied that they could have anything they wanted, so they ordered eggs. However, as the waiter was leaving, he asked, “May I have the eggs now, please?” Another problem they ran into was wearing a wardrobe that was sumptuous in England at that time. They wore high heels, nylons, silk dresses, and fur jackets, and they were frequently propositioned because other people assumed that anyone with such fine clothing in a society with clothing rationing had to belong to a profession that welcomes propositions.

Charles M. Schulz, creator of the comic strip Peanuts, was a soldier in World War II, but fortunately saw little action. He once saw a German crossing the field, so he aimed his rifle at him and pulled the trigger. The rifle did not fire—Mr. Schulz had not loaded it due to forgetfulness. Fortunately, the German soldier surrendered. Mr. Schulz also once thought some German soldiers were in an artillery emplacement, so he got ready to throw a grenade into the emplacement. However, he saw a dog go into the emplacement, so he didn’t throw the grenade because he didn’t want to kill an innocent dog. Fortunately, it turned out that no German soldiers were there. Later, Mr. Schulz said, “I guess I fought a pretty civilized war.”

During the Civil War, Albert Tinsley Glazner, who had been fighting for the Union side, became very ill in Virginia. He collapsed, then crawled under a bridge before falling unconscious. When he awoke, an old slave was taking care of him. The old black man told him, “You’ve been very sick and I’ve been here feedin’ and lookin’ after you. I’m going to get you back to your side, because you’re fighting for my freedom.” Each night, the old black man sneaked away from his home to help him, and when Mr. Glazner was well enough, the old black man put him on his shoulders, carried him across the river, and told him, “Your men are right up there.”

When Stan Berenstain, co-creator of the Berenstain Bears books with his wife, Jan, was a child, he knew that his left eye was much weaker than his right eye; however, he also knew that he was right-handed, so it made sense to him that he must also be right-eyed, and so he never told his parents about his weak left eye. By the time his weak eye was discovered in an eye examination, it was too late to correct the weakness in that eye. As an adult soldier in World War II, for a while he served with other soldiers who were blind or nearly blind in one eye. These soldiers were known informally as the “one-eyed battalion.”

War correspondent Christiane Amanpour got into broadcasting through an accident. One of her sisters paid tuition to attend a broadcasting school in London, then changed her mind. She asked for her tuition back, but it was not refundable. Therefore, Christiane asked if she could attend the school in her sister’s place. This was acceptable, and she eventually became so famous that Pentagon officials once gave her an Amanpour Tracking Chart that detailed her journeys around the world to do reporting. Ms. Amanpour says, “They say I give great war. Is that sexual or what?”

The creators and writers of M*A*S*H interviewed many, many Army physicians in order to get material for their show, and of course they learned much that they would not have thought up on their own. For example, sometimes in Korea it would be so cold that when a physician made an incision for an operation and steam would rise up from the opening of the patient’s body the physician would warm his hands in the steam. This fact was used in an episode in which a journalist interviewed the physicians and other people of M*A*S*H.

Modern Americans don’t realize how horrible war is because it has been so long since a war was fought on American soil. During World War II, gunfire killed a horse on a street in Buda, Hungary. Quickly, starving civilians stripped the flesh from the horse so they would have something to eat. Swedish diplomat Per Anger and other Swedes were grateful that the horse goulash they cooked lasted for a few days.

World War I came very close to James M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan. He lost friends and loved ones in the war, and German planes dropped bombs so close to his home by the Thames River that on his balcony he occasionally found shrapnel.

John F. Kennedy became a war hero during World War II after he helped rescue several of his men after his ship, PT 109, was sunk. Asked how he had become a war hero, he said, “It was absolutely involuntary. They sank my boat.”

Author Quentin Crisp used to make a living as a nude model for art classes. During World War II, a bomb fell near where he was modeling. The art students dove for the floor and relative safety, but Mr. Crisp kept on posing.

***

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David Bruce: War Stories

By the end of the twentieth century, only one woman had ever won the Medal of Honor. That woman is Dr. Mary Edwards Walker, who served in the Civil War. She volunteered her services to the Union Army, but the officials were unsure what to do with her. Although she wanted to serve as an army doctor, time after time her request was turned down. Still, because of the many wounded soldiers and the great need of doctors, she managed to help the wounded in a hospital temporarily set up in the Patent Office building in Washington D.C. as well as in field hospitals in Virginia. Later, she went to Chattanooga, Tennessee, where the wounded of the Battle of Chickamauga were coming. However, because of prejudice against women, who were not thought to be capable of being physicians, a medical board of male doctors pronounced her unfit to be a doctor. Nevertheless, she stayed to help civilians around and in Chattanooga. On April 10, 1864, as Dr. Walker was outside the army camp, a Confederate patrol arrested her and charged her with being a spy. She spent four months as a prisoner in Richmond, Virginia, before being exchanged for a Confederate prisoner. She continued to work as a doctor, first taking care of women in a prison, then working in an orphanage. For all of her work as a doctor during the war, she was awarded the Medal of Honor. However, in 1916, the United States Army reviewed the Medals of Honor it had given out, and it decided that Dr. Walker did not deserve her medal because she had been only a contract physician, not a member of the military. Dr. Walker declined to give up her medals (both the one she had been originally awarded, and the redesigned medal she had received in 1906), and she kept them until her death in 1917. However, the Army Board of Correction of Military Records reviewed her case in 1977. It determined that if she had been a man, she would have received a commission as an army officer. For this reason, the board restored her Medal of Honor on June 10, 1977.

Following World War I, Ernestine Schumann-Heink was leery of singing German classical music. (She had sang to support the American troops during the war.) Even while singing in Japan, she was very careful which songs she sang, so she left off the program all songs by German composers. However, the Empress of Japan looked over the program and was shocked by the lack of German composers, asking, “Why, what kind of a program is this?” Ms. Schumann-Heink started to mention the war, but the Empress of Japan said, very reasonably, “Music has nothing to do with war! Music should not be affected by war. So put in your classics, Brahms, Schubert, Beethoven, and make it an artistic, beautiful program—or there can be no concert.” Ms. Schumann-Heink very happily put the requested German classics into her program.

Comedian Al Franken goes into Veterans Administration hospitals to meet the wounded troops. He thought that it would be very difficult, but he was amazed by how cheerful many of them—including a woman helicopter pilot who lost most of her left leg and part of her right leg—are. He asked a man with one leg what had happened to him; the man replied, “I came in here for a vasectomy, and when I woke up my leg was gone.” By the way, Mr. Franken says not to thank these wounded veterans for their service to the country—they imitate all the politicians who tell them that. Therefore, Mr. Franken uses humor. When he has a photograph taken with one of these veterans, he writes on the photo, “Thank you for getting grievously wounded.”

When photographer Margaret Bourke-White received permission to cover the 1942 Allied invasion of Tunisia during World War II, she thought that she would fly there. However, General Jimmy Doolittle, who commanded the Eighth Air Force, told her that she would be safer if she sailed there in a convoy. Ironically, a German torpedo struck her ship, but fortunately, she escaped in a lifeboat—and came away from the wreckage with some astonishing photographs.

During World War I, many Americans opposed the playing of German music on patriotic grounds. However, many musicians, including Spanish cellist Pablo Casals regarded this attitude as nonsense, so Mr. Casals started the Beethoven Association in New York with other musicians who supported the playing of works by Ludwig van Beethoven and other great German composers.

Despite being born in Boston, George Copeland played Spanish music very well and even lived in Spain; however, he abandoned his Spanish villa just before a revolutionary war broke out. He had a good reason. One morning, he discovered one of his Loyalist servants on the patio. More specifically, he found the servant’s head—the rest of the servant was nowhere to be found.

General George Washington and 11,000 troops spent the winter of 1777-1778 at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania. Of his men, 3,000 died of hunger, cold, illness, and suffering that winter. In the spring, there was good news—the French had decided to join the war on the side of the Americans.

Alexander the Great could be ruthless. When he was opposed by the Thebans, he conquered Thebes, killed at least 6,000 men, sold the Theban women and children into slavery, and destroyed all the buildings of the city except for its temples and the house of Pindar, a poet he greatly respected.

When war correspondent and photographer Margaret Bourke-White received permission to fly on a bombing expedition during World War II, J. Hampton Atkinson piloted her himself, saying, “I’m going to fly you myself because if you die, I want to die, too.” (Fortunately, neither of them died.)

After Japan attacked Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, people worried that the Japanese would attack the western coast of the United States—or even the White House. Therefore, President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s wheelchair was outfitted with a gas mask.

Babe Ruth was such an American sports hero that during World War II, Japanese soldiers used to shout at American soldiers, “To hell with Babe Ruth!”

“Renewable Energy is Homeland Security.”—bumper sticker.

***

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