Bruce Dalzell: Waltz For Kelee (YouTube)

Bruce Dalzell: Waltz For Kelee(YouTube)

A truly great instrumental piece.

Song for sale at 0.99 on Amazon

Album My “Athens Past” for sale at $8.91 pm on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/My-Athens-Past-Bruce-Dalzell/dp/B004IXI62O

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FREE Romance eBooks by Brenda Kennedy

NOTE: These books are the first books of series and end in cliffhangers.

FORGETTING THE PAST

Also free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/641664

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/641664

FOREVER COUNTRY

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A NEW BEGINNING

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LEARNING TO LIVE

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A LIFE WORTH FIGHTING

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https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/539553

SHATTERED DREAMS

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https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/493939

HOME ON SEASHELL ISLAND

This is FREE standalone book:

Also free here: 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/755692

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/755692

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FREE eBook: Cupcakes are Not a Diet Food!

Also free here:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/652988

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FREE: William Shakespeare’s “Measure for Measure”: A Retelling in Prose

FREE HERE, TOO:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/530136

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“McConnell is transforming the federal judiciary from sometimes-defenders of the poor, immigrants and people of color into the Praetorian Guard of corporations, the wealthy, and those whose cultural and racial privileges make them, at best, oblivious to their collective responsibility to all Americans.” — Art of Quotation

He has jammed hundreds of conservative judges onto the federal bench, making it younger, Whiter and more male — and far more partisan — in the process. In concert with the Federalist Society, McConnell is transforming the federal judiciary from sometimes-defenders of the poor, immigrants and people of color into the Praetorian Guard of corporations, […]

“McConnell is transforming the federal judiciary from sometimes-defenders of the poor, immigrants and people of color into the Praetorian Guard of corporations, the wealthy, and those whose cultural and racial privileges make them, at best, oblivious to their collective responsibility to all Americans.” — Art of Quotation
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David Bruce: The Funniest People in Books — Work

Work

• Frederick C. Copleston, S.J. wrote a nine-volume history of philosophy, an accomplishment that astonished many people, who suspected that a syndicate of writers was actually behind the books published under the name of Copleston. He once said, “If anyone is curious to know how I managed to write so much, the answer is, I suppose, that I did little else but study, lecture, and write. Being celibate and having for most of my life no administrative post, I was able to devote a large part of each day to literary work. The syndicate idea was a figment of the imagination.”

• Children’s book author/illustrator David McPhail believes in taking advantage of inspiration when it strikes. He was awaiting some friends whom he had invited to his house when he was struck by inspiration and began writing Henry Bear’s Park. In the middle of writing the story, he heard a knock at the door. He threw it open, saw his friends, and told them, “I’m in the middle of writing something. Go to the beach and come back in an hour!” An hour later, when they came back, he had finished the story.

• Robert Benchley frequently found it difficult to work at his apartment in the Algonquin — friends were always dropping in to see him, or he was always leaving his apartment to drop in on some of his friends. Once, he wrote the word “The” on a sheet of paper, figuring that it would make a good beginning for an article, then he went out to see some friends. When he returned, he stared for a while at the “The,” then added “hell with it,” and went out to see some more friends.

• Zora Neale Hurston, author of Their Eyes were Watching God, made little money as a writer although she was one of the most celebrated writers of the Harlem Renaissance. At one point, despite being a published writer, she worked as a maid in Florida to make money because she needed money and was accustomed to earn her own way in life. Members of the white family she worked for were greatly surprised one day when they saw a photograph of their maid in a magazine.

• Lois Ehlert did not plan to be a writer/illustrator of children’s books, but after taking a class on making homemade books, she needed something to fill the pages of the book she had created. Because she had a vegetable garden, she wrote and illustrated a story that she titled Growing Vegetable Soup. The book was published, and suddenly Ms. Ehlert was a writer/illustrator of books for children.

• The worst job author Gary Paulsen ever had was replacing septic tanks while working for a septic tank company. Because he was new at the company, he had the worst job — emptying the sewage from the old tanks. Sometimes, Mr. Paulsen would be shoveling when a homeowner flushed the toilet and unintentionally gave him a shower of sewage — Mr. Paulsen’s fellow employees thought this was hilarious.

• As the author of such children’s books as The Two Giants, Eve Bunting finds that she can write anywhere. Because she didn’t have her notebook with her, she once wrote a children’s story on the back of a program in the dark while a play was being performed. On another occasion, she felt inspired while traveling but again didn’t have her notebook with her, so she wrote the story on a “barf” bag.

• As an author of children’s books, Margaret Mahy stays alert in hopes of finding ideas for new books. She once saw this sign in a butcher’s shop in her native New Zealand: “Pot-boiling owls.” Actually, a letter had fallen off the sign — it was supposed to say, “Pot-boiling Fowls.” Someday, she may write a story suggested by this sign.

• As a hard-working professional writer, Isaac Asimov, who wrote or edited over 400 books during his career, began writing at 7:30 a.m. then continued throughout the day, often writing until late at night. He once said, “I must write. I look upon everything but writing as an interruption.”

• Finis Farr worked as a contributing editor at Time, where he was very unhappy. One day, he went to a park after lunch and thought how much he dreaded going back to work. Suddenly, he thought, “I’ve got the answer! Don’t go back.” Mr. Farr didn’t go back.

***

Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

The Funniest People in Books — Buy:

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Apple

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Kobo

Smashwords

Paperback

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Music Recommendation: The Smoggers — “Can’t Live Without It”

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “Can’t Live Without It”

Album: ROCTOPUS TEA PARTY VOL. 3

Artist: The Smoggers

Artist Location: Sevilia, Spain

Record Company: Roctopus Tea Party Records

Record Company Location: Toledo, Spain

Info: This is a compilation record featuring four songs by each by these groups:

King Jartur & His Lords

The Smoggers

The Cryptones

Price: FREE DOWNLOAD

Genre: Rock

Links:

ROCTOPUS TEA PARTY VOL. 3

https://roctopusrecords.bandcamp.com/album/roctopus-tea-party-vol-3

Roctopus Tea Party Records

https://roctopusrecords.bandcamp.com

King Jartur & His Lords on Bandcamp

https://kingjartur.bandcamp.com

The Smoggers on Bandcamp

https://thesmoggers.bandcamp.com

The Cryptones on Bandcamp

https://avethesound.bandcamp.com/album/shake-shake-with-the-cryptones

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Up the chain — t r e f o l o g y

I once joined a UFO cult. My initiation was, surprisingly, very brief *** I signed some papers, was fitted for a robe, the leader said a few words, and then I was immediately handed a small dixie-cup of poison. *** Of course, I was aghast. I said, hold on, one minute, folks, I thought we […]

Up the chain — t r e f o l o g y
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David Bruce: The Funniest People in Books — Travel, Work

Travel

• Meindert DeJong was born in Friesland, a province of the Netherlands, and he had the blond hair of his countrymen. During World War II, having moved to America, he joined the United States Air Force and was stationed in the Chungking area of China. There, his blond hair fascinated the Chinese. Many wanted to touch it — but some women were so frightened by it that they ran away from him. Later, Mr. DeJong became the renowned author of such children’s books as The House of the Sixty Fathers, a story about a Chinese boy struggling to survive in wartime.

• Basho, the famous writer of haiku, decided to visit a place that was famed for its beautiful flowers. While traveling there, he heard about a peasant girl who was famed for her tender devotion to her parents. Basho visited the peasant girl, and he discovered that her devotion to her parents had not been exaggerated. Basho then gave her all the money he had saved for his trip and returned home, saying, “This year I have seen something better than flowers.”

• In 1922, E.B. White and a friend drove across the country in a Model T they named Hotspur (from a character in Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part 1), eventually ending up in Seattle, but not before watching the Kentucky Derby. Mr. White lost $5 (approximately $40 in today’s money) betting on the race, but recouped his loss by writing a poem about the winner of the race and selling it to the Louisville Herald.

• While visiting the cathedral at Milan, Italy, Mark Twain and a friend wished to go aloft. A sacristan told the party “to go up one hundred and eighty-two steps and stop till he came.” According to Mr. Twain, “It was not necessary to say stop — we should have done that any how. We were tired by the time we got there.”

• Johanna Hurwitz, author of Busybody Nora, usually writes in her study, although while traveling, she occasionally writes elsewhere. During an airplane trip, a flight attendant asked her if she wanted a beverage. Ms. Hurwitz looked up from her writing and wondered, “What is this lady doing in my study?”

• James Boswell said about a well-known tourist destination that the pleasure of seeing it wasn’t worth even half a guinea. His friend, Samuel Johnson, replied, “But, sir, there is half a guinea’s worth of inferiority to other people in not having seen it.”

Work

• Jonathan Swift once traveled with a lazy servant. One night, he gave his boots to the lazy servant to clean and shine, but the next morning they were still dirty. When Dean Swift asked for an explanation, the lazy servant said that he had not cleaned them because Dean Swift was going to ride again today, and what was the use of cleaning them if they were just going to get dirty again. Hearing that, Dean Swift told the servant to get ready immediately to continue their journey. The servant protested, “But I haven’t eaten breakfast yet!” Dean Swift responded, “What is the use of feeding you breakfast if you are just going to get hungry again?” After that, Dean Swift had his boots cleaned and shined each night, and the servant ate breakfast each morning.

• In Roughing It, Mark Twain wrote about working as a common laborer in a quartz mill, where he refined silver ore into silver bricks. After a week of backbreaking labor, he went to his employer and said that although he had come to love the work, he felt that he could not continue working without a raise. The employer countered by saying that he was paying Mr. Twain $10 a week, which he felt was a fair sum, and just how much of a raise did Mr. Twain want? Mark Twain replied that $400,000 a month, and board, was all he could reasonably ask, considering the hard times. Of course, Mr. Twain was then ordered off the premises of the quartz mill.

***

Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

The Funniest People in Books — Buy:

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Apple

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Kobo

Smashwords

Paperback

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Music Recommendation: Los Hidrocálidos — “Cuatreros “ [“Rusters”]

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “Cuatreros “ [“Rusters”]

Album: ROCTOPUS TEA PARTY VOL. 2

Artist: Los Hidrocálidos

Artist Location: Toledo, Spain

Record Company: Roctopus Tea Party Records

Record Company Location: Toledo, Spain

Info: This is a compilation record featuring three songs each by these groups:

Los Hidrocálidos

Els Morts

The Gorgons

Price: FREE DOWNLOAD

Genre: Rock

Links:

ROCTOPUS TEA PARTY VOL. 2

https://roctopusrecords.bandcamp.com/album/roctopus-tea-party-vol-2

Roctopus Tea Party Records

https://roctopusrecords.bandcamp.com

Los Hidrocálidos on Bandcamp

https://loshidrocalidos.bandcamp.com

Els Morts on Bandcamp

https://elsmorts.bandcamp.com

The Gorgons on Bandcamp

https://thegorgons.bandcamp.com

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David Bruce: The Funniest People in Books — Sports, Thanksgiving, Titles, Tobacco

Sports

• Sports writers sometimes lead interesting lives. Back when figure skater Katarina Witt was competing internationally for East Germany, many people believed that the East German athletes were using steroids. (In fact, some were.) However, at a press conference, Ms. Witt denied ever using steroids. She leaned forward, then told the sports writers, “Look at these boobs! If I were on steroids, would I have boobs like this?”

Thanksgiving

• For a party, gay author Joel Perry ordered a turkey to be prepared by HoneyBaked. Unfortunately, when he arrived with his reservation number to pick up the turkey, he was informed that it had already been sold. One other turkey was on display, so he asked if he could buy it, but the salesperson informed him that someone else was buying it. A gay man expecting 20 people for dinner is not to be trifled with, so Mr. Perry jumped over the counter, grabbed the turkey, threw down $50, then dashed out of the store.

Titles

• Children’s book author Lois Lowry plays a game with children and other people, a game with no wrong answers. The game is played when she and others are looking at a scene, and someone asks, “What book does this remind you of?” For a meadow scene, the answers may range from Gone With the Wind to Wind in the Willows to Where the Wild Things Are. All of these answers are right. Usually, the answers differ considerably, but on one occasion everyone came up with the same book title. Watching a 15-month-old boy play with his food in a high chair, everyone answered, James and the Giant Peach.

• Cranston Toller was and is a controversial, outspoken figure skater and artist. When Mr. Toller wrote Zero Tollerance, his autobiography, an editor suggested that he subtitle it Chronicles of a Misspent Life. Mr. Toller would have none of that, saying, “How dare you? My life has not been misspent. My life has been textured.”

• Gail Godwin wrote a novel titled The Good Husband. She sent her assistant to copy some of the pages from the manuscript, and her assistant reported that while she was copying the pages, another woman had seen the title and snorted, “Ha! Where? Let me know when you find him.”

Tobacco

• Andrew Tobias, an anti-smoking activist, was annoyed by a plane flying over his vacation home and displaying the pro-tobacco banner “Newport: Alive with Pleasure,” so he hired another plane to display the banner “Larry Tisch Sells Cancer Sticks.” (Larry Tisch controlled the company that manufactures Newport cigarettes.) The next summer, another pro-tobacco plane flew over his vacation home bearing the banner “Parliament: The Perfect Recess.” (This sounds like a tobacco advertisement aimed at schoolchildren.) So Mr. Tobias hired another plane to display the banner “Parliament: The PERMANENT Recess.” The summer after that, no pro-tobacco plane appeared, so Mr. Tobias hired a final plane to display the banner “Thank You for Not Smoking.”

• As you would expect, children’s book author Dr. Seuss had a quirky sense of humor. When he decided to quit smoking, he bought a corncob pipe and put radish seeds in its bowl. After boarding a bus, he put the unlit pipe in his mouth, held it there for several minutes, then pulled an eyedropper from his pocket and squirted several drops of water into the bowl. Of course, a woman asked him, “What are you doing?” Dr. Seuss replied, “I’m watering the radishes.”

Travel

• While Mark Twain was traveling in Europe (an adventure he wrote about in Innocents Abroad), a number of tour guides made his life miserable, so with the help of a few friends, he decided to make the tour guides’ lives miserable. For the duration of the trip, Mark Twain and his friends refused to be impressed by anything a tour guide showed them. Once, a tour guide showed them a letter handwritten by Christopher Columbus. One of Mark Twain’s friends looked at the letter and complained about the sloppy penmanship, “Why, I have seen boys in America only fourteen years old that could write better than that.”

***

Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

The Funniest People in Books — Buy:

Kindle

Apple

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Kobo

Smashwords

Paperback

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Music recommendation: Los Immediatos — “Viaje Interior ” [“Interior Journey”]

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “Viaje Interior ” [“Interior Journey”]

Album: ROCTOPUS TEA PARTY VOL. 1

Artist: Los Immediatos

Record Company: Roctopus Tea Party Records

Record Company Location: Toledo, Spain

Info: This is a compilation record featuring four songs each by these groups:

Los Chavales

Los Guajes

Los Immediatos

Price: FREE DOWNLOAD

Genre: Rock

Links:

ROCTOPUS TEA PARTY VOL. 1

https://roctopusrecords.bandcamp.com/album/roctopus-tea-party-vol-1

Roctopus Tea Party Records

https://roctopusrecords.bandcamp.com

Los Immediatos on Bandcamp

https://losimmediatos.bandcamp.com

Los Chavales

https://loschavales.bandcamp.com

Los Guajes

https://losguajes.bandcamp.com

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David Bruce: The Funniest People in Books — Research, Revenge, Sales, Sex, Sports

Research

• Peter Ustinov says that being famous is a handicap when it comes to doing first-hand research. For example, he can’t go into a brothel in Hamburg, Germany, to do research for a thriller because people ask him for his autograph.

Revenge

• When the parents of author Michael Thomas Ford divorced after a long marriage, his mother — who had run away with another man — sent his father a long list of items that she said she would come by and pick up. She also included a much shorter list of items that she would allow him to keep. After receiving the letter. Mr. Ford’s father spent a lot of time in the horse barn. Soon, Mr. Ford’s mother came by and loaded up a huge U-Haul truck with stuff she and her husband had accumulated together during 35 years of marriage, and she also loaded ten heavy boxes labeled “Dishes” and “Garden Stuff,” leaving behind a piano she didn’t have room for. After she had left, Mr. Ford’s father had a big smile on his face, and Mr. Ford asked him why. His father replied, “Did you see those big cardboard boxes? The ones marked ‘Dishes’ and ‘Garden Stuff’? I put those there. They were filled with bags of horse sh*t taken from the barn.”

• The ancient Greek poet Ibykos (who lived in the 6th century B.C.E.) was said to have been murdered by robbers. Before dying, he exclaimed to the robbers that some birds — cranes — nearby would be his avengers. The robbers laughed at him and murdered him anyway. When the robbers entered a city later, one of the robbers saw some cranes and shouted, “Look — the avengers of Ibykos.” This aroused the curiosity of the citizens of the city, who — after investigating and discovering that the robbers had murdered Ibykos — put the robbers to death.

Sales

• Valerie Taylor was one of the first people to write positive lesbian fiction. She remembers the first time she saw someone buying one of her novels. She felt like rushing up to him, shaking his hand, and thanking him, but managed to restrain herself.

• After James M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan, wrote his first book, Better Dead, and paid a publisher to print it, he used to hang around newsstands, hoping to see someone buy a copy.

Sex

• Screenwriter Gene Fowler was tending the lawn of his California home when a car drove up to him and stopped, then the driver asked about a glamorous, sexy movie star, “Does Lana Turner live here?” Mr. Fowler looked up and answered, “If Lana Turner lived here, do you think I would be outdoors?”

• While Dorothy Parker was on her honeymoon, editor Harold Ross sent her a telegram asking her if she had finished an article she was writing for The New Yorker. She replied with this telegram: “TOO F*CKING BUSY, AND VICE VERSA.”

Sports

• When he was a young boy, young people’s book author Walter Dean Myers went with some other boys to a church gym, where they hoped to play full-court basketball. They were disappointed when they found half of the court occupied by girls who danced, then stretched. The boys made what they thought were appropriately disgusted comments, and the girls made a deal with them. If the boys could do the stretching exercises that the girls were doing, the girls would leave and allow the boys to play full-court basketball, but if the boys could not do the stretching exercises, then they had to perform the dance routine with them. The boys accepted the offer, but they quickly discovered that none of them were limber enough to do the stretching exercises that the girls were doing. The girls made the boys live up to the deal they had made — the boys had to perform the dance routine with them.

***

Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

***

The Funniest People in Books — Buy:

Kindle

Apple

Barnes and Noble

Kobo

Smashwords

Paperback

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Music Recommendation: Howlin’ Wolf — “Smokestack Lightin'”

BRUCE’S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC

Music: “Smokestack Lightnin’”

Album: KILLING FLOOR — BLUES ESSENTIALS

Artist: Howlin’ Wolf (June 10, 1910 – January 10, 1976)

Record Company: Goldenlane

Record Company: Los Angeles, California

Info: “Howlin’ Wolf was one of the most important post-war American bluesmen whose Southern background helped define the ‘Chicago Sound’ of the 1950s. Born and raised in rural Mississippi, Wolf (born Chester Arthur Burnett) began his musical career singing in his local Baptist church.”

Price: $1 (USD) for track; $9 (USD) for 11-track album

Genre: Blues

Links:

KILLING FLOOR — BLUES ESSENTIALS

https://howlinwolf.bandcamp.com/album/killing-floor-blues-essentials

Goldenlane Record Company

https://goldenlane.bandcamp.com

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