August 6, 2018 – davidbruceblog #2

David Bruce: William Shakespeare’s 2 HENRY VI: A Retelling in Prose — Act 2, Scene 2

— 2.2 —

The Duke of York, the Earl of Salisbury, and the Earl of Warwick talked together in the Duke of York’s garden.

The Duke of York said, “Now, my good Lords of Salisbury and Warwick, our simple supper ended, give me permission in this private footpath to satisfy myself. I want to know your opinion of my title and right — which are infallible — to England’s crown.”

The Earl of Salisbury said, “My lord, I long to hear in full about your claim to the crown.”

“Sweet York, begin,” the Earl of Warwick said, “and if your claim to the crown is good, the Nevilles — both I and my father, the Earl of Salisbury — are your subjects to command.”

The Duke of York said, “Then I will begin.

“King Edward III, my lords, had seven sons.

“The first son was Edward the Black Prince, Prince of Wales.

“The second son was William of Hatfield, who was born 16 February 1337 and died 8 July 1337.

“The third son was Lionel, Duke of Clarence.

“The fourth son was John of Gaunt, Duke of Lancaster.

“The fifth son was Edmund Langley, Duke of York.

“The sixth son was Thomas of Woodstock, Duke of Gloucester.

“The seventh and last son was William of Windsor, who was born 24 June 1348 and died 5 September 1348.

“Edward the Black Prince died before his father and left behind him King Richard II, his only son, who after Edward III’s death reigned as King until Henry Bolingbroke, Duke of Lancaster, who was the eldest son and heir of John of Gaunt, was crowned by the name of King Henry IV.

“Henry Bolingbroke seized the realm, deposed the rightful King Richard II, sent Richard II’s poor Queen to France, from whence she came, and sent Richard II to Pomfret, where, as you know, harmless Richard II was murdered traitorously.”

The Earl of Warwick said, “Father, the Duke of York has told the truth. This is how the House of Lancaster got the crown.”

The Duke of York said, “And now the House of Lancaster holds the crown by force and not by right.

“Once Richard II, the first son’s heir, was dead, the issue — one of the children — of the next son of Edward III should have reigned.”

The Earl of Salisbury said, “The second son was William of Hatfield, and he died without an heir.”

The Duke of York said, “The third son, Duke Lionel of Clarence, from whose line I claim the crown, had issue: Philippa, a daughter, who married Edmund Mortimer, fourth Earl of March.

“Edmund had issue: Roger, fifth Earl of March.

“And Roger had issue: Edmund, Anne, and Eleanor.”

The Earl of Salisbury said, “This last Edmund, in the reign of Henry Bolingbroke as Henry IV, as I have read, laid claim to the crown. Edmund would have been King, but Owen Glendower kept Edmund in captivity until he died.

“But tell us the rest of what you have to say.”

The Duke of York said, “Edmund’s eldest sister, Anne, who is my mother, being heir to the crown married Richard, the Earl of Cambridge, who was the son of Edmund Langley, King Edward III’s fifth son.

“By Anne I claim the Kingdom of England. She was heir to Roger, the Earl of March, who was the son of Edmund Mortimer, who married Philippa, the only daughter of Lionel, the Duke of Clarence.

“So, if the issue of the elder son succeeds to the throne before the issue of the younger son, I am the true and rightful King of England.”

The Earl of Warwick said, “What plain proceeding — line of descent — is more plain than this?

“Henry VI claims the crown from John of Gaunt, the fourth son of Edward III.

“The Duke of York claims it from the third son of Edward III.

“Until Duke Lionel of Clarence’s line fails, the issue of John of Gaunt should not reign.

“Duke Lionel of Clarence’s line has not yet failed, for it flourishes in you, the Duke of York, and in your sons, who are the fair slips of such a stock — branches of the trunk of the family tree.

“So then, father Salisbury, let us kneel together; and in this private plot we will be the first who shall salute our rightful sovereign and acknowledge the honor of his birthright to the crown.”

The Earl of Salisbury and the Earl of Warwick knelt and said, “Long live our sovereign Richard, who is both the Duke of York and England’s King!”

Using the royal plural, the Duke of York said, “We thank you, lords.”

He then said, “But I am not officially your King until I am crowned and my sword is stained with the heart-blood of the House of Lancaster; and that’s not to be performed immediately, but with deliberation and silent secrecy.

“Both of you must do what I do in these dangerous days.

“Shut your eyes and pretend not to notice the Duke of Suffolk’s insolence and arrogance, Cardinal Beaufort’s pride, the Duke of Somerset’s ambition. Shut your eyes and pretend not to notice the Duke of Buckingham and all the rest of the crew of them until they have snared the shepherd of the flock, that virtuous Prince, the good Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester. He is whom they seek to snare and destroy, and they in seeking that shall find their deaths, if the Duke of York can prophesy.”

The Earl of Salisbury said, “My lord, you need say no more; we know your mind at full — we know what you mean to do.”

The Earl of Warwick said, “My heart assures me that the Earl of Warwick shall one day make the Duke of York a King.”

The Duke of York replied, “And, Neville, this I assure myself: Richard, Duke of York, shall live to make the Earl of Warwick the greatest man in England except for the King.”

***

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“What’s a Story You’ve Been Waiting to Tell but No One Ever Asks It on r/askreddit?”

1) NnortheExperience wrote this:

“I lifeguard at my university recreation center. We have a patron who at some point in his life had a stroke and can barely talk except for a few words. He can’t even say his name, which is Bill btw [by the way]. He likes to sit in our hot tub for hours on end because it helps relax his body, and he really enjoys watching people swim, play water basketball, or water volleyball. A few weeks ago a student who just finished his workout was sitting in the hot tub across from him, and was attempting to stretch a very specific part of his arm. Well, Bill realized what the kid was trying to stretch and managed to show him a better way to do it. The kid realizes pretty quickly that Bill has speech issues and asks if he can write. They ask us for some paper and a pen, which I give them and Bill starts writing out some things like his name, what he did, and all this other stuff. Turns out Bill was a damn good skier in his days and learned a lot of stretches from doing it so much.

“Anyways, the kid did so damn well talking to him, being patient, doing everything he could to understand him. And tell ya f[**]king what, my goddamn heart was melting because I’ve seen this guy in our hot tub almost every day for the past year and a half, and in that time, not one person had talked to him until that day. Bill’s smile was contagious; his joy of talking to someone would’ve melted anyone’s heart. That kid was a wholesome guy, very kind and compassionate, and witnessing such a wonderful act of kindness restored some of my faith in Humanity.

“To the guy who talked to Bill at our school hot tub: You are a good person. I appreciate what you did for that man. Keep being awesome.”

2) Brummiediv wrote, “I was at a festival and saw a guy hula hooping. An hour later still hooping. And still an hour later. I went over to him and grabbed the hoop — he was off his bonce on LSD and couldn’t stop. He was exhausted. So I stopped a man hula hooping himself to death.”

3) rhyminsimon613 wrote this:

“A few years ago my boyfriend and I were handing out candy on Halloween night. We were running low so my boyfriend left to go buy more. A few minutes after he left the house he called me and told me that a little kid with the BEST train costume ever would be coming to the door soon, but that he’s Oliver and not Thomas the Tank Engine. The kid had been crying to his dad that everyone thought he was Thomas the tank Engine.

“A few minutes later, the kid shows up in the COOLEST train costume ever. The costume is made out of cardboard, and it’s literally the whole train with the kid in the middle. It even had an area in the chimney/spout that opened and you put the candy in.

“I opened the door and I’m all like ‘OMG! OLIVER THE TANK ENGINE! I LOVE OLIVER! HE’S MY FAVOURITE!’ and the kid just loooost it. So did his dad. The kid was so freaking happy that I knew he was Oliver and not Thomas. His dad was filming everything and looked sooo happy/shocked that I knew [his son] was Oliver. As they were walking away, I kept hearing the kid say to his dad, ‘She knew I was Oliver! She knew I was Oliver!’

“I f[**]king closed the door and cried. It was so precious.”

4) yolo_swaggins_69 wrote this:

“I went to Comic Con (or Wizard World? I can’t remember) a few years ago for my birthday. My grandmother was a big fan of the show Spartacusat the time, and her favorite actor, Manu Bennett, was going to be at the convention. Since she’s wheelchair-bound & has health problems, she couldn’t go herself. I offered to get his autograph for her.

“So I’m at the convention and I find his booth. First of all — he is SMOKING HOT. I could see why my grandmother liked him. Anyway, I wait in line for a few minutes since he’s taking the time to engage in conversation with a fan. He seems really friendly.

“It’s my turn, and I grab a glossy, shirtless photo of him. I explain that I’m getting this for my grandmother and that she was disappointed that she couldn’t come because of her health problems.

“Well. He asked if I had her number in my cell phone, and I obviously said yes. He asked if he could give her a call!

“So of course I dial the phone, praying like hell for my grandmother to pick up. She did, thankfully, and I said, ‘Hey, I’m at the convention and there’s someone who wants to talk to you.’

“Well, Manu Bennett chatted with my grandmother on the phone for a few minutes, and thanked her for being a fan and that he was sorry he couldn’t meet her in person.

“I legit almost cried and thanked him profusely; I knew how excited my grandmother would be. He tried to refuse the $40 for the autographed photo, saying that he didn’t need it. I slipped him an extra $20. (I would have given him more if I had more cash on me at the time.)

“When I got home, my mom pulled me aside and gave me a hug. My grandmother was dealing with a lot of health issues at the time, and she said that the phone call made her the happiest that she’d been in weeks. I actually cried then.

“My grandmother still talks about that day. It was seriously the best birthday present I could have gotten. Manu Bennett, if you somehow ever read this, thank you!!!! You’re the sweetest celebrity I’ve ever met!”

***

Source: Peter_of_RS, “What’s a story you’ve been waiting to tell but no one ever asks it on r/askreddit?” AskReddit. 19 March 2018

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/85kgeq/whats_a_story_youve_been_waiting_to_tell_but_no/

***

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“What is the Creepiest Thing that has Ever Happened to You?”

1) SpeeOutlaw wrote this:

“I was about 10 or 11 and walking home from a friend’s house. It wasn’t a long walk, maybe 10-15 minutes, but shortly after starting my journey, I noticed a man behind me. I’m not sure what it was, but something in my mind told me this guy was dangerous.

“I wanted to play it off so I kept walking as normal, but decided to cross the street to see if he would follow me and he did. As he kept getting closer, I picked up my pace. I went past my normal way home and decided to make a few turns that would not make sense if you were going somewhere, essentially going in a circle. The man was still behind me and getting closer.

“The man was now about 20 feet behind me. As I continued to walk down the sidewalk, I saw a garage door that was open. I decided my best choice was to pretend this was my home and walk into the garage. I walked into the garage and to the door leading into the house. The man who was following me turned and started walking down the driveway.

“I was terrified and turned the doorknob, hoping it was open, and thankfully it was. When I opened the door, another man I hadn’t noticed popped out from under the car that was in the garage and looked at me and asked, ‘What are you doing?’ My whole body was trembling, and I let out, ‘Please help me. This guy is following me.’ The man quickly sprang to his feet with a wrench in his hand and saw the other man walking down his driveway. He started shouting at the other man to get back, and the man who was following me quickly ran away.

“The man who saved me quickly brought me inside where I met his toddler and bewildered wife. After he explained everything to his wife, they gave me some water and began trying to calm me down. I stayed at their home for a short time, and the couple ended up giving me a ride home.

“I walked into the right garage that day, and I’m thankful they were there to help me.”

2) Nijelong wrote this:

“I was working at a manufacturing company that was sold. The new owners came in and laid off about 30% of the workers. I was not let go, but a guy in my department (we will call him Dave) was. Dave was shocked to be fired because he was certain he was too valuable for them to lose. He was very angry when they let him go. About a week later, he calls me while at work to thank me. (This is pre-cellphone so he called me on the company line at the extension for my department.) I had recently taught him how to run a new machine and him knowing that was helping him get some decent job prospects. He said he wanted to take me out to lunch as a way of saying thanks.

“A few days later, we went. He picked me up at work during my lunch break, and we drove down the street to this deli. For the first half of the lunch, he was pissed off and venting about being fired. I understood his anger and just let him vent. I tried to say the right things and encourage him by telling him he would likely end up with a better job soon.

“As lunch wore on, things took a dark turn. He started talking about how he could do some real damage in the plant if he wanted to because he could sneak in the side door where nobody would see him and cause havoc before they even knew he was there. He told me how he could slide boards into the handrails of the doors and lock everyone inside if he wanted. He went on to list people he didn’t like whom he blamed for his being fired.

“As lunch came to an end, I was still trying to stay positive, but I was getting worried that Dave was going to do something rash. As we drove back, he told me not to worry. He said he liked and respected me so he would never do anything to me, but some people might need to pay. We get back, I wish him good luck, and I suggest he try to relax a little and maybe spend a few days just unwinding and enjoying the time off. He says goodbye, and I head inside.

“My department had a window that looked out into the parking lot. I could see where he was parked from that window. He didn’t leave after I went inside. He sat in the car with an anguished look on his face. I started getting worried, so I told my boss what was up and that I thought we needed to call 911. He did. The police showed up, and at first Dave wouldn’t get out of the car.

“Finally they talked him out of the car and got him handcuffed, and then they searched the car. In the trunk of his car were several short boards, two rifles, a pistol, and a machete. I was freaking out for two reasons. First, the idea of what he was planning, and second, because I was certain he would blame me for his getting caught. He asked to speak to me before they took him away so I went outside, assuming if he was going to threaten me it was best if he did it in front of the police. He asked if I called 911. I told him it was me who said to call 911, so yes, I was responsible for the police being there.

“He then looked me in the eye and said, ‘Thanks. You might have saved me.’ I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

“TL;DR — co-worker gets fired, takes me to lunch as a thank you, threatens to attack the place and has a trunk full of weapons.”

***

Source: roomk33, “What is the Creepiest thing that has ever happened to you?” AskReddit. 1 April 2018

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/88ous0/what_is_the_creepiest_thing_that_has_ever/

***

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What was the Moment You Said to Yourself, “Jeez, I’m Poor”?

1) BathingMachine wrote, “When I was about 16, my dad picked me up in a borrowed minivan with no back doors the day before Christmas to have Christmas dinner with him — took me to McDonald’s and bought one burger with loose change and we cut it in half and shared it. I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks, but I actually really appreciated that he went out of his way to do something that he clearly couldn’t afford so I didn’t totally miss out.”

2) Lookitsmonsterki wrote, “I realised when all the other kids at school brought packed lunches everyday and I brought no food so my teacher used to make me a Vegemite sandwich in the staff room. Doing fine now, but as a kid I realised I was poor then.”

3) Tampaburn wrote, “I was counting pennies to get the $2 chicken box at Checkers that I had a $1-off coupon for. I got to like $.79 and the cashier was like, ‘Just take it, man. You need it.’”

4) host-chips wrote this:

“I cried in a supermarket once because I was ten cents short for a packet of instant noodles. (They were 50c.)

“I also wasn’t getting paid for about three days, so I stole some kid’s unattended Happy Meal at the food court and made it last for about two days. It was one of the worst periods of my life.”

KumaTheBear123 commented, “I don’t know about others, but if I knew items that are stolen from me are used for the survival of the individual rather than drugs/beer, etc., I actually don’t feel that bad or sad about it.”

ghost-chips replied, “I still feel bad about stealing some kid’s treat meal to this day, but yeah, if I knew that someone stole from me to not starve a few more days, I would just hope they hang in there. Poverty sucks.”

5) Christmas_in_July wrote this:

“I’ve stolen only once in my life, and I still feel guilty about it. When I was really broke, I went to buy some groceries for my family.

“My bank usually would allow you to overdraft $10 with no penalty. I had no money until the upcoming payday, so I went shopping and got the most/best I could for $10.

“I went to self-checkout and my card was declined. Apparently my bank had stopped allowing the $10 over.

“I didn’t know what to do since I needed that food and couldn’t pay. I ended up walking out of the store with my groceries and leaving the transaction open at self-checkout. I’ve never been so nervous as I was leaving and walking to my car, and I avoided that store for a few months.

“I hope I am never faced with that situation again. The guilt was pretty bad, but in the end my family was fed so I let it go and vowed never to do anything like that again!”

***

Source: Karnaf0, “What was the moment you said to yourself ‘Jeez I’m poor’?” AskReddit. 14 March 2018

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/84c6wy/what_was_the_moment_you_said_to_yourself_jeez_im/

***

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Once Homeless Friends on Reddit: What is the Most Helpful (and Reasonable) Thing a Kind Stranger Could Do for You that Would Help You Out?

Irredditvantwrote this:

“I ended up homeless in Reno the summer I turned 18 after partying and being a dumbass for several months. Eventually my father bought me a Greyhound ticket to go to his house in Klamath Falls, but I had a couple days to kill before the bus. I mostly just hung around the bus station downtown in the meantime. At one point I was waiting in the bus station, and I asked this woman with a small daughter if I could have a dollar to get a snack out of the vending machine. She gave me a dollar and then disappeared. I said, ‘Thank you,’ and just hung out in the lobby some more, getting drinks out of the water fountain and biding my time.

“A little while later this woman showed back up with a bag of groceries and hands it to me. It had chips, jerky, Pringles, sandwiches, water bottles, and other snacks plus twenty dollars cash all in a plastic grocery bag. She told me, ‘Please don’t spend it on alcohol,’ and I told her I wouldn’t and said, ‘Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate this.’ She got on the bus with her daughter, and I never saw her again.

“To this day that remains one of the coolest things another human being has ever done for me. I wish I had some way of letting that woman know what an impression she made on me and that I was able to work my way out of that rut and am happy and successful now nearly fifteen years down the line. She inspires me to be more charitable and less cynical. She made a difference in a burnt-out loser’s life, and I hope she and her daughter are happy and well.”

***

Source: ThatDJgirl,“Once homeless friends on Reddit: What is the most helpful (and reasonable) thing a kind stranger could do for you that would help you out?” AskReddit. 2 April 2018

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/896da9/once_homeless_friends_on_reddit_what_is_the_most/

***

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What is the Nicest Illegal Thing Someone has Done for You?

1) viktor72 wrote, “I’m not sure if it’s illegal, but when I lived in Belgium my income was about 5000€ short of what I needed to sponsor my husband for a family visa. My father wrote me up a contract that said I was doing web work for him (lies) which covered the missing income. I never actually got the money. I just needed [the contract] to submit for the visa application.”

2) Aedrian87 wrote this:

“I have hyperhidrosis, which means I can be swimming in sweat no matter the weather, to the point where drops of sweat dripping from my armpits is a normal occurrence. I had hit a rough patch and was a sneeze away from being homeless.

“I use a special deodorant that helps a lot with the problem, but its cost is a little prohibitive.

“My sister and her husband took me in while I got back on my feet, and since I already had a job they knew it was temporary. (I had already signed the contract, but it didn’t start until about one month later.) My sister’s husband noticed my problem, took me aside and asked me about it, then told me not to worry about it. (I was showering a couple of times a day so I wouldn’t have to use deodorant, to try and save some.)

“He went to the local supermarket and got me like seven of them. They (my sister and her husband) were quite broke, too, so I freaked out about the money; they needed food, too. He just smiled and said, ‘Five-finger discount, don’t worry about it.’ That guy is awesome.”

3) fiveminutedoctor wrote this:

“My girlfriend and I decided to go to this nice restaurant for a date and then go see this film my brother was debuting that I wrote music for. The restaurant took FOREVER to get us our food, and by the time they did we just asked for them to bring us boxes because we were running super late thanks to them. I just spent like $50 on food and was so p[*]ssed I’d have to eat it as sh[*]tty leftovers. We got to my car and I was complaining to my girlfriend that I was so hungry and now we had no way to eat it and all that and she pulls out a fork. She stole a fork from the restaurant so I could eat my food in the car.

“We’re both super-moral people and always talk about going back to the restaurant and leaving the fork we took on the table when we leave. So that way it was just borrowing it for a few years.”

4) WeirdWolfGuy wrote, “Youth Resource Officer … misplaced a report on me after I got into a fist fight with my bully and managed to break the kid’s thumb. He confided that he knew exactly where the report was, but he was just as sick of the bully as I was.”

5) ladyughsalot wrote this:

“I was making a Frozencake for my niece and needed an Elsa topper. They had the perfect size, but it came with this entire set I didn’t want or need. It sucked; the Elsa was so perfect for the cake. I approached the most jaded-looking teen employee ever and asked if there was any way she knew of an Elsa the same size but not part of the set. She stared at me, mouth agape, and simply broke off the Elsa part I needed, and handed that to me. A bit flustered I thanked her and asked how I should ask checkout to price it. She sullenly was like, ‘Uh, I wouldn’t. You got a pocket?’

“And that’s how a teenager got me to commit petty theft, but I like to think we did it together. Cake looked great.”

6) karlaofglacia wrote, “It wasn’t illegal but was super against the rules. I have problems with my feet and in high school I couldn’t run a 10-minute mile. It was pass/fail, and it was a stupid amount of our grade. We had our partner count laps for us, and my partner lied and said I had hit my final lap right before the 10-minute mark, when I was actually one lap short.”

7) JoesJourney wrote, “A friend of mine stole a flamingo out of a stranger’s yard simply because I said I wanted one! Best gift I’ve ever received! I bought a new one and replaced it btw [by the way].”

***

Source:caprianna,“What is the nicest illegal thing someone has done for you?” AskReddit. 30 June 2018

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/8uycwc/what_is_the_nicest_illegal_thing_someone_has_done/

***

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Reddit, What’s the Most “Chaotic Good” Thing You’ve Ever Seen?

1) BoredsohereIam wrote this:

“We have a few (technically illegal) graffiti artists around town, who all have different tags. They also seem to have different territories, as you see only one tag in any specific area. A lot of us love their work, and they all keep it ‘G-rated’ so the city/property owners never minded.

“Then, overnight, an extremely racist drawing appeared on a black business owner’s front windows … along with a tag from a guy we’ll call J. It was quickly removed, but understandably many people became worried about the graffiti artists in general.

“Over the next few days, J’s entire territory was plastered with drawings from different tags. They covered every bit of his work with puppies, rainbows, cupcakes, anything considered cute. Each time he did a new one, it was covered up the next night.

“Eventually he stopped trying, and his territory remains a sort of neutral zone.”

2) rkskr wrote, “I remember in middle school there was a lunch lady who would ever so slightly overcook cookies or pizza or fries from the snack line so that she could say that they were not suitable to sell and then she would give them to the kids who were getting the sh[*]tty meal because they had no money in their lunch accounts.”

3) Din0chickenugget wrote this:

“I didn’t see it personally, but I heard the story from this guy’s roommate, who did get to witness it.

“It’s freshman year of college. Two of my neighbors, Colin and George, are rushing the same frat. My roommate had a thing for George, so she invited him and his roommates over for breakfast one morning.

“We ask about what they’re up to, make small talk, all that jazz. Turns out George was just banned from the frat for doing drugs. What did he do, you may ask? He doesn’t remember. But according to Colin, they were at a party and George saw someone slip something into a girl’s drink. Rather than take a logical approach (tell her not to drink it, take it from her and pour it out, so on and so forth), George ripped it from her hand and chugged it himself.”

4) TheEmeraldArcher455 wrote this:

“When I was like 11, I was at the beach with family. I found this stuff called fart spray (exactly what it sounds like) and really wanted it, but my dad said no. My aunt decided it’d be funny to buy it for me and torture her brother, so she bought it in secret.

“We met my dad and some other family to all ride this shuttle further down the boardwalk, I couldn’t hold my excitement and blabbed immediately about my new [possession]. My dad took it from me and ‘scolded’ my aunt, and I sat down defeated.

“A few minutes later, this drunk lady and her friends get on the bus, clearly out doing a night of bar hopping. The one lady is being really loud and cussing a lot, my dad asked her to tone it down and was berated with profanities. He sat quietly through it, then as the lady went to get off the bus I see him hit her with a squirt from the fart spray.”

5) morganharris37 wrote this:

“My grandfather when he was in about his 30s was out of country for some reason I can’t remember. The day before his flight back, he got very sick. He could hardly get on the plane, but he was ready to get home. He was on the plane and noticed that no one had bought the seat next to him. He asked the flight attendant if he could use it to lie down and hopefully sleep off his illness, and she allowed him to.

“Well, a bit after the flight started, this very large man went on a very public rant about how his seat was too small. The flight attendant kindly informed the man that in the future he should buy two seats. Well, the man wouldn’t have this so he points to my sick grandfather and shouts that he shouldn’t get two seats as he needed only one, and that he should get my grandfather’s two seats and take his one. The flight attendant told the man that they would not be switching. The man only threw a bigger fit.

“After a while of this man acting like a very, very large baby, my grandfather willingly gave up his seats to the man to end his whining. So they switched. After a while my grandfather noticed that the man was reading this very large book. Eventually the large man fell asleep. In front of the entire plane, my grandfather stood up, walked over to the sleeping man, tore out the last five pages of his book, and went and sat back down. No one said a word about it.”

6) Tee_shirtNkitty_cats wrote this:

“Some homeowners were sick of people illegally dumping trash on a corner of their street and graffiting the area, too. So as a kinda joke, they put up a Buddha in that corner in an effort to stop people from trashing the area & kinda [let] hippy positive vibes ‘cure’ the area of the negativity (or whatever).

“Turned out the Vietnamese community appreciated the gesture so much they cleaned up the area & started making offerings & pilgrimages to the ‘illegally dumped’ statue.”

***

Source: Garconiere, “Reddit, what’s the most ‘Chaotic Good’ thing you’ve ever seen?” AskReddit. 1 August 2018

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/940lya/reddit_whats_the_most_chaotic_good_thing_youve/

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“What is the Most Memorable Moment You Shared with a Stranger Whom You Never Saw Again?”

1) Theearthhasnoedges wrote this:

“I was on a long late night bus ride. It was express, so it made very few stops. The bus had maybe 10 people on it in total. Halfway through the trip, it made a stop at a small-town station so people could grab a snack or use a public restroom and maybe stretch their legs.

“I went up to the counter to buy what at that point was my dinner even though it was after 10 p.m., and when the cashier rang it up, I passed a $50 bill to her and she told me that she couldn’t make change. Defeated, I went back to my seat on the bus.

“As everyone piled on and the bus drove away, a lovely middle-aged lady walked up from her seat near the back and politely asked if I minded if she sat with me. I told her she was more than welcome. She sits and proceeds to unpack a small lunch bag.

“She then split the entirety of her meal with me. She said she had been waiting for the washroom to clear out and had overheard what happened. She said, ‘I’ve gone hungry in my life and it sucks. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, so you can share with me.’

“When we were done I jokingly asked if she could break a $50 and we had a good laugh. She stuck with me for the remainder of the trip and was a very interesting lady besides being incredibly generous.

“I hope she is well.”

2) AvadaKedavras wrote, “I’ve shared this on Reddit before. The day I found out my grandmother had a stroke and would never walk or talk again, I was away at college. I finally broke down in a bathroom. A girl came in and asked if I needed a hug. I was crying so hard that I really didn’t get a look at her face. I cried on her shoulder for about 10 minutes and then had to pull myself together and leave for class. I never explained myself and she never asked. I never recognized or spoke to her again. I wonder if she sometimes saw me on campus and wondered what was up and if I was okay.”

3) Stillloveyou112 wrote, “My son was in a pretty serious accident. I was a wreck in the ICU [Intensive Care Unit] waiting room. A little girl maybe about 9 or 10 years old was with her family, saying goodbye to her great-grandmother. She waltzed right up to me and said, ‘Sir, why are you crying?’ I explained my son was very sick. She handed me a miniature puppy doll and told me it was lucky and my son would get better. She was right, he did get better, and I still keep that little puppy on my dresser and think of that sweet child.”

4) Lithuanian_Rooster wrote this:

“When I was studying abroad in Lithuania, I volunteered at a soup kitchen and every now and again there would be an older lady helping out who dropped off supplies. We would smile at each other and say hello even through the language barrier.

“Well, one night I went to Easter mass in the town I was volunteering in and it was warmer during the day so I didn’t think about bringing a heavier jacket once it got dark, not to mention the church was this old massive building. So I’m sitting through mass and I’m getting colder and start shivering pretty noticeably, when all of a sudden I feel someone drape a scarf over my shoulders. I turn around and it’s the lady who would drop off supplies at the soup kitchen! Once mass was over, I tried to return the scarf, but she refused to take it back. I did my best to extend my gratitude through the language barrier, but I’m sure she knew.

“It was the most beautiful and kindest thing that has ever happened to me. That was the last time I saw her, and I will never forget her kindness towards me. It still tears me up thinking about it.

Source: joeChump, “What is the most memorable moment you shared with a stranger who you never saw again?” AskReddit. 5 August 2018

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/94uzxl/what_is_the_most_memorable_moment_you_shared_with/

***

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David Bruce: Superstition Anecdotes

Sarah Winchester was a very rich woman, as she inherited money made from sales of the gun that won the West. However, she worried about all the people who had been killed by Winchester rifles; in fact, she thought that the spirits of these people were haunting her. What to do? She consulted a medium, who recommended that she provide a home for the spirits. In 1884, in San Jose, California, she bought an eight-room house for the spirits—but the house soon grew much bigger than eight rooms. The house eventually towered seven stories and contained 160 rooms—servants needed maps to find their way through the house. Interestingly, the spirits themselves designed the house. Each midnight, the spirits were consulted, and their wishes were followed. Apparently, spirits like chimneys, and so 47 were built. Also, apparently, spirits like practical jokes, so one door opened onto a blank wall, and another—not on the ground floor—opened onto thin air. One closet was only one inch deep, and a skylight was installed in a floor. After Sarah died, her heirs did not continue her design sessions with the spirits, but they did turn several of the rooms into the Winchester Rifle Museum.

In 1857, the native Xhosa people were strong and united against the British in South Africa, but that soon changed with the great Xhosa cattle killing, or Mfecane. Nongqawuse, a young woman of the Xhosa people, supposedly saw three ghosts. They told her that the residents of the land of the dead had good news for the Xhosa people. Graves would open, and the old chiefs would return and rule them again. Everyone would have enough food and possessions, and the British would be pushed into the sea. However, the Xhosa people had to show their faith by killing all their cattle—cows, goats, sheep, and oxen—and by burning their crops. The Xhosa people did this, but the dead chiefs did not return. Weakened by hunger, the Xhosa people could not resist when the British took their land. No one knows what really happened, but some suspect that white settlers or representatives of the British rulers may have tricked the Xhosa people by pretending to be ghosts.

Thomas Beecham planned a series of concerts, but he had not yet engaged a chamber orchestra to play at them. Knowing this, Charles Draper, a world-class clarinetist, visited him to offer the services of his own group of musicians. While discussing the series of concerts, they took a walk, and during the walk, they found three horseshoes. Impressed with this evidence of good fortune, they decided to go ahead with the series of concerts, which turned out to be a great success.

Many hitters have strange beliefs about their bats. In the mid-1950s, Forrest “Spook” Jacobs used to squirt eye drops on his bat because he thought his hitting prowess improved when he used a “seeing-eye” bat. In the early 1900s, John “Chief” Meyers would not allow his fellow players to use his bats because he believed that each bat was capable of making only 100 hits. A teammate of Meyers’, Benny Kauff, rested his bats whenever he felt that they were tired.

Many athletes and coaches believe—or act as if they believe—in harmless superstitions. In 1970, Nadia Comaneci finished 13th in the Romanian National Junior Championships. To ward off the bad luck of the number 13, Nadia’s coach, Bela Karolyi, gave her an Eskimo doll. And yes, she finished first in the competition the following year—and she carried the Eskimo doll to other important competitions.

Many athletes belive in superstitions to help them through competitions. Curtis Hibbert, a black Canadian gymnast who was a Commonwealth Games champion in 1990, used to play solitaire until he won a game the day before a competition. That may not be such a good superstition to believe in, for Mr. Hibbert admits that to win a game, “Sometimes I had to stay up pretty late.”

Many baseball players are known for their superstition. Minnie Minoso once went 0-for-4 in the first of a doubleheader, so in between games he showered while wearing his uniform in an attempt to wash away the evil spirits. The second game of the doubleheader, he got three hits, and following the game, eight players showered while wearing their uniforms.

Shamrocks—the leaves of the clover plant—are thought to bring good luck to people and to protect them from evil spirits. They have other benefits as well. If a young woman wishes to keep her boyfriend, she might put a shamrock in his shoe. That way, he won’t be attracted to other young women and will continue wooing her.

Athletes frequently have odd superstitions and do odd things that they feel bring them good luck. Sarah Hughes, who won a gold medal in ladies’ figure skating at the 2002 Winter Olympics, always slept in a Peggy Fleming T-shirt before important competitions. Ms. Fleming even sent her one with this note: “P.F.’s PJs.

Some incredible stories about Japanese ninjas have been told. Once, a ninja was being chased by guards, but he escaped by using a hidden springboard to jump over a 10-foot wall. The guards chasing the ninja didn’t see the springboard, so they thought the ninja had managed to jump a superhuman height.

Marty Springstead had No. 21 as an umpire in the American League back when there were only 20 umpires—because of superstition, no umpire had the number 13. Umpire Ed Runge saw the number, then told Mr. Springstead, “Do you suppose they’re trying to tell you something?”

Barbra Streisand is not superstitious, although she does say that it is bad luck to step in front of a speeding locomotive. Another person who is not superstitious is Noël Coward, who nevertheless admits that it is bad luck for 13 people to sleep in the same bed.

A fortune teller once offered to foretell the future to R’ David Budnik of Novarodok. R’ David Budnik waved the fortune-teller away, telling him, “If you could foretell the future, you would have known that you’re wasting your time with me.”

***

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